WWF Monday Night Raw
October 18th 1999
-From Columbus, OH. Our valiant hosts are Jim Ross and Jerry Lawler.
-The Rock comes to the ring to talk, and he sure does have a lot to say about what happened at No Mercy. He's sporting taped ribs after getting assaulted with a sledgehammer by Triple H. The Rock is gunning for the WWF title at Survivor Series, in honor of the peoples' ribs. The crowd just adores him. Rock wants everyone to know that when he hit Stone Cold with the sledgehammer, he was aiming for Triple H. Now he'll just have to settle for shining up the hammer and sexually assaulting The Game with it at Survivor Series. That's not really what The Rock said, just how I interpreted it. Austin joins him in the ring and this actually gives me chills. Austin has a bone to pick with Rock for declaring himself #1 contender, as well as being stupid enough to cost him the WWF title. They're about to fight when Mr. McMahon interrupts to ruin the moment. Vince wants to know what Triple H wants to do. HHH shows up and flaunts his success in properly annoying fashion. Of course, this results in Vince making a triple threat main event for Survivor Series. This was actually a rather great opening segment, with all four guys feeling larger than life.
Wednesday, May 4, 2016
Monday, May 2, 2016
WWF Smackdown 10/14/99
WWF Smackdown
October 14th 1999
-From Birmingham, AL. Our hosts are Michael Cole and Jerry Lawler.
-Mankind visits Mr. McMahon in search of a favor. Apparently, Vince once told Mick to leave him alone, and he did, therefore he's owed something in return. He wants a shot at the Tag Team Championship for the Rock n' Sock Connection. Vince agrees, but doesn't think Rock will want the match.
-The New Age Outlaws come out to a huge ovation. They're simultaneously feuding with the heel Holly Cousins and babyface Rock n' Sock Connection, but they're always babyfaces for their entrance and mic work. They're interrupted by a somber looking Triple H, sporting a fake bruised face. I think we're supposed to think he got attacked by the rattle snake on Raw. He cuts a sob story promo about how this has been his dream but never imagined the business would turn into having to kill yourself for the fans. He says this is the last time anyone will ever see him, teasing a retirement. Before he goes, he wants Mr. McMahon to come look him in the eyes and know never to put anyone in his situation again. A concerned looking Vince shows up and listens to HHH's speech. The segment drags on forever before just ending with HHH saying he'll forfeit the title later.
October 14th 1999
-From Birmingham, AL. Our hosts are Michael Cole and Jerry Lawler.
-Mankind visits Mr. McMahon in search of a favor. Apparently, Vince once told Mick to leave him alone, and he did, therefore he's owed something in return. He wants a shot at the Tag Team Championship for the Rock n' Sock Connection. Vince agrees, but doesn't think Rock will want the match.
-The New Age Outlaws come out to a huge ovation. They're simultaneously feuding with the heel Holly Cousins and babyface Rock n' Sock Connection, but they're always babyfaces for their entrance and mic work. They're interrupted by a somber looking Triple H, sporting a fake bruised face. I think we're supposed to think he got attacked by the rattle snake on Raw. He cuts a sob story promo about how this has been his dream but never imagined the business would turn into having to kill yourself for the fans. He says this is the last time anyone will ever see him, teasing a retirement. Before he goes, he wants Mr. McMahon to come look him in the eyes and know never to put anyone in his situation again. A concerned looking Vince shows up and listens to HHH's speech. The segment drags on forever before just ending with HHH saying he'll forfeit the title later.
Sunday, May 1, 2016
WWF Monday Night Raw 10-11-99
WWF Monday Night Raw
October 11th 1999
-Seeing as I'm back on board with WWE Network for Payback, I might as well get a classic Raw review out of it.
-From a monster-sized crowd in the Georgia Dome in Atlanta, GA, WWF's business is continuing to soar. Jim Ross and Jerry Lawler are calling the action.
-Mr. McMahon comes to the ring and enjoys a moment with the fans before introducing Stone Cold Steve Austin to a big ovation. Austin is fed up with being on the sidelines thanks to Triple H and wasn't scared by HHH stomping a rattlesnake in a symbolic gesture. As per usual, Austin doesn't want to wait for the pay-per-view and calls out The Game. Soon enough, WWF Champion Triple H comes to the stage for a rebuttal, effectively insulting the fans and vowing to retain against Austin. HHH teases a brawl but picks on Jim Ross some more, resulting in Ross attacking him from behind. The distraction sets up Austin pummeling HHH all over the ringside area. Austin holds HHH in place for some J.R. shots, but Chyna runs in for the save. Austin pulls Chyna off Ross and clocks her in the face. HHH escapes and challenges Austin and J.R. to wrestle him and Chyna later on. At age 31, this is no longer my cup of tea, but my inner 14 year old thought this was great.
October 11th 1999
-Seeing as I'm back on board with WWE Network for Payback, I might as well get a classic Raw review out of it.
-From a monster-sized crowd in the Georgia Dome in Atlanta, GA, WWF's business is continuing to soar. Jim Ross and Jerry Lawler are calling the action.
-Mr. McMahon comes to the ring and enjoys a moment with the fans before introducing Stone Cold Steve Austin to a big ovation. Austin is fed up with being on the sidelines thanks to Triple H and wasn't scared by HHH stomping a rattlesnake in a symbolic gesture. As per usual, Austin doesn't want to wait for the pay-per-view and calls out The Game. Soon enough, WWF Champion Triple H comes to the stage for a rebuttal, effectively insulting the fans and vowing to retain against Austin. HHH teases a brawl but picks on Jim Ross some more, resulting in Ross attacking him from behind. The distraction sets up Austin pummeling HHH all over the ringside area. Austin holds HHH in place for some J.R. shots, but Chyna runs in for the save. Austin pulls Chyna off Ross and clocks her in the face. HHH escapes and challenges Austin and J.R. to wrestle him and Chyna later on. At age 31, this is no longer my cup of tea, but my inner 14 year old thought this was great.
Saturday, April 9, 2016
EVOLVE 58 Review
EVOLVE 58
April 1st 2016
-From Dallas, TX. Lenny Leonard and Rob Naylor do an in-ring introduction announcing that this is the highest attended EVOLVE show in history. Ah, the wonders of getting into business with WWE.
EVOLVE Tag Team Championship:
Johnny Gargano and Drew Galloway (c) vs. The Premier Athlete Brand (Anthony Nese and Caleb Konley, with So Cal Val and Andrea)
Drew Galloway rallies the troops with a promo putting over EVOLVE for his life after WWE. Gargano surprises Drew and the fans by bringing out Kota Ibushi for their corner. Apparently, if Nese and Conley lose, they can never team up again. The PAB kick things off with a good old fashioned cheap shot from behind. Galloway catches Konley in a dive and slams him on the apron. Nese cartwheels over Drew but gets caught by Johnny's tope. Gargano goes on a chopping spree and nearly finishes Nese with an Ace Cutter. Gargano gets isolated and plays a nice face in peril. Drew gets a hot tag and gets to play a big man role, plowing through Nese and Konley. The match breaks down, and Konley blocks Gargano's spear, leaving him in a draping position for Nese's flying crossbody! Konley gets caught with stereo enziguris on the top rope and sets Drew in a tree of woe. Drew sits up and powerbombs Konley off the top! DDT by a sneaky Johnny earns a 2 count and "This is awesome" chant. All four men trade super kicks and near falls for a standing ovation. The PAB hit a nasty neckbreaker combo but Gargano implausibly kicks out. Nese prepares to use string, but Ethan Page runs in to neutralize him. Konley powerbombs Galloway into the buckles and drops Gargano onto him. Galloway uses a wheelbarrow suplex to set Konley up for the GargaNo Escape for the apparent submission, but the ref isn't calling for the bell at 13:01. The fans chant "this ref sucks" while the match is award to Gargano and Galloway after all. That confusing finish hurt what had been a tight spot-fest, ***.
Winners and still EVOLVE Tag Team Champions: Drew Galloway and Johnny Gargano
April 1st 2016
-From Dallas, TX. Lenny Leonard and Rob Naylor do an in-ring introduction announcing that this is the highest attended EVOLVE show in history. Ah, the wonders of getting into business with WWE.
EVOLVE Tag Team Championship:
Johnny Gargano and Drew Galloway (c) vs. The Premier Athlete Brand (Anthony Nese and Caleb Konley, with So Cal Val and Andrea)
Drew Galloway rallies the troops with a promo putting over EVOLVE for his life after WWE. Gargano surprises Drew and the fans by bringing out Kota Ibushi for their corner. Apparently, if Nese and Conley lose, they can never team up again. The PAB kick things off with a good old fashioned cheap shot from behind. Galloway catches Konley in a dive and slams him on the apron. Nese cartwheels over Drew but gets caught by Johnny's tope. Gargano goes on a chopping spree and nearly finishes Nese with an Ace Cutter. Gargano gets isolated and plays a nice face in peril. Drew gets a hot tag and gets to play a big man role, plowing through Nese and Konley. The match breaks down, and Konley blocks Gargano's spear, leaving him in a draping position for Nese's flying crossbody! Konley gets caught with stereo enziguris on the top rope and sets Drew in a tree of woe. Drew sits up and powerbombs Konley off the top! DDT by a sneaky Johnny earns a 2 count and "This is awesome" chant. All four men trade super kicks and near falls for a standing ovation. The PAB hit a nasty neckbreaker combo but Gargano implausibly kicks out. Nese prepares to use string, but Ethan Page runs in to neutralize him. Konley powerbombs Galloway into the buckles and drops Gargano onto him. Galloway uses a wheelbarrow suplex to set Konley up for the GargaNo Escape for the apparent submission, but the ref isn't calling for the bell at 13:01. The fans chant "this ref sucks" while the match is award to Gargano and Galloway after all. That confusing finish hurt what had been a tight spot-fest, ***.
Winners and still EVOLVE Tag Team Champions: Drew Galloway and Johnny Gargano
Monday, April 4, 2016
WWE Wrestlemania 32 Review
WWE Wrestlemania Star (32)
April 3rd 2016
-From Dallas, TX. Mauro Ranallo and Jerry Lawler hosted the pre-show, while Michael Cole, JBL, and Byron Saxton hosted the main card.
Intercontinental Championship (Ladder Match):
Kevin Owens (c) vs. Sami Zayn vs. Dolph Ziggler vs. Sin Cara vs. Stardust vs. The Miz vs. Zack Ryder
As per usual, it's hard to screw up multi-man stunt shows in the opening slot, and this one delivered some cool moments. It's still surreal to see Owens and Zayn rekindle their feud in the WWE, especially now in a main roster, Wrestlemania setting, though they weren't really the focus. A lot of time was spent on the riff-raff, as Stardust, Ryder, and Sin Cara should all be thanking whatever deity they worship for being included. I marveled when Ryder nailed a flying elbow off the top of a ladder, as it seemed amusing that a jobber would get the chance to outshine similar spots from 'Mania's ladder match past. Stardust got a nice moment when he fetched a black and yellow polka dot ladder from under the ring in a novel tribute to his late father. Sin Cara shined too, getting tipped off a ladder into a springboard onto the masses at ringside. It came down to Sami Zayn suplexing Owens onto a resting ladder in a scary spot that might have legitimately knocked Owens unconscious. It seemed like there was a bit of a "Oh crap, what do we do now?" scramble, before Zack Ryder knocked Miz off to retrieve the title at 15:23. Ryder's emotional post-match celebration, coming to tears while his father joined him, felt really improvised and I wouldn't be surprised if word comes out that an audible was called. Either way, the treatment of Zack Ryder over the past four years has been a constant irritant to me, so I was glad to see him look awesome in this match AND emerge as champion, random as it might be. Good spot-fest that set the right tone for an iffy card, ***3/4.
Winner and new Intercontinental Champion: Zack Ryder
Saturday, April 2, 2016
NXT Takeover: Dallas Review
WWE NXT Takeover: Dallas
April 1st 2016
-From Dallas, TX. Wrestlemania weekend kicks off in a big way with a stacked NXT card that is top-to-bottom more appealing than the Wrestlemania 32 line-up. Our hosts are Corey Graves and Tom Phillips.
NXT Tag Team Championship:
The Revival (c) (Scott Dawson and Dash Wilder) vs. American Alpha (Jason Jordan and Chad Gable)
Putting Gable and Jordan over would be an easy way to please the crowd early and set an exciting tone for the event. Dawson backs Gable into the corner and patronizingly slaps his face. The fans came to get themselves over and chant "Which one's Dawson, which one's Dash." Gable returns the mocking slap to the face, almost sparking a brawl. Gable surprisingly sprints into a hip toss but manages to set Dawson up for a perfect Jordan drop-kick. Jordan gets a crowd chant that would make Roman Reigns envious. Dawson rakes the eyes but America Alpha avoid isolation with stereo backdrops. Gable goes off with a series of arm drag, Jordan saves him from a double team and American Alpha pop the crowd with stereo German suplexes! Gable blocks several spots that normally lead to a babyface isolation before finally succumbing to a clothesline ambush at ringside. The fans chant "Save the Gable" in New Day rhythm, aren't they adorable? Gable counters with a double DDT and as smarky as the fans are, I'll be damned if they aren't legitimately into the story of this match. Wilder crawls under the ring to stop a Gable tag, but the Revival botch a double team move and get a Botchamania chant. The building explodes for a Jordan hot tag. Jordan is apparently a resident of Suplex City. Dash grabs Dawson's leg to prevent Jordan's superplex and holds Jordan down to almost steal a pinfall. The a series of believable false finishes comes at rapid fashion. Jordan makes a blind tag setting up the Grand Amplitude for the win at 15:06! Fantastic opener that gave the fans exactly what they wanted. That one really ugly botch drags this down from the four stars zone, but this was a major league effort from everyone involved, ***3/4.
Winners and new NXT Tag Team Champions: American Alpha
April 1st 2016
-From Dallas, TX. Wrestlemania weekend kicks off in a big way with a stacked NXT card that is top-to-bottom more appealing than the Wrestlemania 32 line-up. Our hosts are Corey Graves and Tom Phillips.
NXT Tag Team Championship:
The Revival (c) (Scott Dawson and Dash Wilder) vs. American Alpha (Jason Jordan and Chad Gable)
Putting Gable and Jordan over would be an easy way to please the crowd early and set an exciting tone for the event. Dawson backs Gable into the corner and patronizingly slaps his face. The fans came to get themselves over and chant "Which one's Dawson, which one's Dash." Gable returns the mocking slap to the face, almost sparking a brawl. Gable surprisingly sprints into a hip toss but manages to set Dawson up for a perfect Jordan drop-kick. Jordan gets a crowd chant that would make Roman Reigns envious. Dawson rakes the eyes but America Alpha avoid isolation with stereo backdrops. Gable goes off with a series of arm drag, Jordan saves him from a double team and American Alpha pop the crowd with stereo German suplexes! Gable blocks several spots that normally lead to a babyface isolation before finally succumbing to a clothesline ambush at ringside. The fans chant "Save the Gable" in New Day rhythm, aren't they adorable? Gable counters with a double DDT and as smarky as the fans are, I'll be damned if they aren't legitimately into the story of this match. Wilder crawls under the ring to stop a Gable tag, but the Revival botch a double team move and get a Botchamania chant. The building explodes for a Jordan hot tag. Jordan is apparently a resident of Suplex City. Dash grabs Dawson's leg to prevent Jordan's superplex and holds Jordan down to almost steal a pinfall. The a series of believable false finishes comes at rapid fashion. Jordan makes a blind tag setting up the Grand Amplitude for the win at 15:06! Fantastic opener that gave the fans exactly what they wanted. That one really ugly botch drags this down from the four stars zone, but this was a major league effort from everyone involved, ***3/4.
Winners and new NXT Tag Team Champions: American Alpha
Monday, February 1, 2016
Retro Rowe: WWE One Night Stand 2008 Review
WWE One Night Stand
-Originally written pretty close to the live airing in 2008.
-It’s the “One night a year the WWE goes extreme!” Every match has an “extreme” gimmick attached to it, as we’ll see Singapore cane, last man standing, first blood, stretcher, falls count anywhere, TLC, and “I quit” matches.
-From San Diego, California. Our hosts for the evening are Jim Ross and Jerry Lawler for Raw, Michael Cole and Mick Foley for Smackdown, and Mike Adamle and Tazz for ECW.
Falls Count Anywhere match:
Jeff Hardy vs. Umaga
I know, I know, this is something like the millionth match in their never-ending rivalry, but their matches tend to be quality, so I’ll let it go. Hardy starts off by running into Umaga’s elbow. Hard Irish whip by Umaga. Hardy quickly rebounds with Whisper in the Wind. Umaga catches Hardy (attempting a flying cross body) and slams him hard to the mat rather awesomely. Hardy ducks the rampaging Umaga, causing him to crash to the floor. Hardy whips himself onto Umaga on the floor and goes for the cover and gets 2. Umaga whips Hardy into the barricade. Umaga drops a chair Hardy and directs him towards the corner of the floor, nearing the stage. Umaga no-sells a shot from a giant traffic cone and kicks Hardy in the face. Hardy dodges a splash from Umaga, causing the big man to hit the some tech equipment. Hardy uses a fire extinguisher to chase Umaga to the backstage area. From here, the match turns into a 1999 hardcore match, as they brawl up the stairs. Hardy slides down a rail and wipes Umaga out. Cover on the stairs by Hardy gets 2. Umaga huffs and puffs his way up the stairs to chase Hardy and they continue brawling in the lobby and into the parking lot. The parking lot brawl ends up being really entertaining, with lots of use of the parked trucks. Hardy climbs up the side of a truck and kicks Umaga off. Hardy hit’s the swanton bomb off the truck and picks up the win at 9:18. This was silly fun, **.
Winner: Jeff Hardy
Jeff Hardy vs. Umaga
I know, I know, this is something like the millionth match in their never-ending rivalry, but their matches tend to be quality, so I’ll let it go. Hardy starts off by running into Umaga’s elbow. Hard Irish whip by Umaga. Hardy quickly rebounds with Whisper in the Wind. Umaga catches Hardy (attempting a flying cross body) and slams him hard to the mat rather awesomely. Hardy ducks the rampaging Umaga, causing him to crash to the floor. Hardy whips himself onto Umaga on the floor and goes for the cover and gets 2. Umaga whips Hardy into the barricade. Umaga drops a chair Hardy and directs him towards the corner of the floor, nearing the stage. Umaga no-sells a shot from a giant traffic cone and kicks Hardy in the face. Hardy dodges a splash from Umaga, causing the big man to hit the some tech equipment. Hardy uses a fire extinguisher to chase Umaga to the backstage area. From here, the match turns into a 1999 hardcore match, as they brawl up the stairs. Hardy slides down a rail and wipes Umaga out. Cover on the stairs by Hardy gets 2. Umaga huffs and puffs his way up the stairs to chase Hardy and they continue brawling in the lobby and into the parking lot. The parking lot brawl ends up being really entertaining, with lots of use of the parked trucks. Hardy climbs up the side of a truck and kicks Umaga off. Hardy hit’s the swanton bomb off the truck and picks up the win at 9:18. This was silly fun, **.
Winner: Jeff Hardy
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