Retro Rowe: WWE Hell in a Cell 2009 Review

WWE Hell in a Cell

October 4, 2009 by Samoa Rowe

-Those of you who are long-time DWB readers (or just Erick and Scrooge) might remember that in 2008-2009 I was trying to keep up with all the WWE pay-per-views as they aired or came out on DVD. Well, in the fall of 2009, I just couldn’t take it anymore. There were too many shows, with too many repetitive matches, and the October double shot of Hell in a Cell and Bragging Rights just ensured that I was tapping out. Now, three years later, I’m finding that I miss doing this, and enough time has passed that some of these shows might seem interesting in retrospect. Here goes nothing.

From Newark, NJ. Our hosts are Michael Cole and Jerry Lawler for Raw, Jim Ross and Todd Grisham for Smackdown, and

World Heavyweight Championship (Hell in a Cell match):
CM Punk © vs. The Undertaker

It was still somewhat eyebrow raising for a World title match to open a pay-per-view at this point. In the coming years, it would become routine. Punk was doing a nice job getting over as the obnoxious straight-edge champion, so naturally they needed to drag Undertaker out of semiretirement to do something about it. Undertaker makes it clear from the opening bell that under no circumstance should we perceive CM Punk to be in his league. Punk scores with the ring steps and goes to work on the knee. Punk delivers a suicide dive, pushing the Dead Man into the cell wall. Only six minutes into the match, they start ramping up for what seems to be the finishing sequence. Undertaker surprises with the Last Ride but Punk kicks out! At least, Punk is going to retain a shred of dignity. Punk counters Old School for 2. The near falls are forced, but are starting to get over. Undertaker counters a chair shot and finishes Punk with the choke slam/Tombstone sequence at 10:22. This felt like a house show main event that happened to take place inside Hell in a Cell, **.
Winner and new World Heavyweight Champion: The Undertaker

Retro Rowe: WWE Breaking Point 2009 Review

WWE Breaking Point - September 13, 2009
by SamoaRowe

-From Montreal, Quebec. You know what that means right? Screwy finishes, and no Hart Dynasty in action, that’s what! I’m also banking on some bizarro world crowd reactions, let’s just hope any haven’t been edited off the DVD.

-Our hosts are Michael Cole, Jerry Lawler, Jim Ross, Todd Grisham, Matt Striker, and Josh Matthews. The pay-per-view has a submission theme for the main events.

Unified Tag Team Championship:
Chris Jericho and Big Show © vs. Mark Henry and MVP
Jericho is surprisingly cowardly and hapless against MVP. Jericho vents with some slapping, but MVP almost puts him away with a neckbreaker. Henry tags, but Jericho quickly puts Big Show in the match. “Let’s go, Big Show” chant from the audience as the giants lumber around. Henry goes for a Bodyslam, but Jericho interferes. Show gains the advantage, with Jericho getting some cheap shots in along the way. Henry is briefly isolated before clothes lining Show and making a lukewarm tag to MVP, who cleans house. Jericho kicks out of the ballin’ elbow drop but the Walls are countered. Big Show gets a blind tag and spears the life out of MVP. Jericho wears down MVP for a few minutes, but a desperate DDT by MVP allows a hot tag to Henry. The crowd wakes up as Henry gets some convincing near falls in. Big Show clocks Henry with the knockout blow from the apron, allowing Jericho to make the pin at 12:11. Not bad, just not very good either, **.
Winners and still Unified Tag Team Champions: Chris Jericho and Big Show

Retro Rowe: WWE Summerslam 2009 Review

WWE Summerslan - August 23, 2009
by SamoaRowe

-The hype package opening the show is interrupted by Shawn Michaels and Triple H making shadow puppets and altering it. They suggest their opponents, Dibiase and Rhodes, are in love with one another (if that’s not a case of projection, I don’t know what is). It’s kind of lame, but it’s also something different, so huzzah.

-From Los Angeles, CA. Our hosts are Jim Ross, Todd Grisham, Michael Cole, Jerry Lawler, Josh Matthews, and Matt Striker.

Intercontinental Championship:
Rey Mysterio © vs. Dolph Ziggler
These two had a good *** match at the last pay-per-view, so let’s see if they can top it. Ziggler is hungry but Mysterio is all business, and the action goes back and forth. Mysterio nails a standing moonsault for an early near fall. Rey delivers a hurricarana off the apron to the floor. Dolph sloppily counters another hurricarana into a turnbuckle powerbomb, allowing him to take control. Rey shows signs of life but eats a hard clothesline, allowing Ziggler to retain the advantage. Big gut buster by Ziggler gets a near fall. Springboard senton by Rey, who rolls through a sunset flip to build some momentum. Ziggler counters a springboard with a drop-kick, evening the playing field. The pace quickens with some extremely convincing near falls by Dolph, with some surprise counters along the way. Rey’s second 619 attempt connects but the diving head butt doesn’t! Ziggler makes a cover but only gets 2! There’s an audible “Let’s go, Ziggler” chant from the fans, just so you know. Rey counters a second rope gut buster with a hurricarana for the win at 12:24! The finishing sequence was fantastic, it reminded me of the great matches Rey had with Jericho earlier this year, ***¼.
Winner and still Intercontinental Champion: Rey Mysterio

Retro Rowe: WWE Backlash 2009 Review

WWE Backlash - April 26, 2009
by SamoaRowe

-Live from Providence, Rhode Island. Jim Ross, Michael Cole, and Jerry Lawler are on commentary.

ECW Championship:
Jack Swagger © vs. Christian
Swagger starts strong, targeting the waist and head. Christian slaps the taste out of Swagger’s mouth and outsmarts, nailing a flying elbow. Headlock by Christian. Shoulder tackles by Swagger and a press slam to the floor! Swagger chokes at ringside and brings Christian back in the hard way. Waist lock by Swagger, into a cover for 2. More waist lock goodness. Swagger counters a clever attack by Christian, stomping him to the mat with authority. Bear hug by Swagger, who lowers Christian’s shoulders down for a cover. Swagger keeps the bear hug locked on. Christian battles out and escapes a press slam. Swagger quickly nails a gut buster for 2. Another waist lock by Swagger. Hard whip by Swagger, but Christian counters into a rope assisted kick. Swagger plants Christian and goes for a bomb off the turnbuckle but it’s countered. Christian is fired up and unleashes a number of strikes. Swagger blocks a DDT but gets caught in a sunset flip for 2.5. Power slam by Swagger. Christian blocks the gut-wrench suplex but gets driven into the turnbuckle. Tornado DDT by Christian gets 2.5! They battle onto the apron, where Swagger attempts a deadly suplex. Christian blocks and flips Swagger back into the ring. Christian goes high risk, but Swagger counters with a back drop off the top! Vader Bomb by Swagger gets 2.9! Christian slaps the face and counters Swagger with a pinning predicament for 2.5. Swagger plants Christian for 2.5. Swagger unties some turnbuckle padding , but Christian does the same. Christian drives Swagger into the exposed steel and nails the Killswitch for the victory at 11:00. This was all over the place at times, but Swagger busted out some cool tricks and Christian took him to school for an exciting opener, ***.
Winner and new ECW Champion: Christian

Retro Rowe: WWE Royal Rumble 2009 Review

WWE Royal Rumble - January 25, 2009
by SamoaRowe

-The show is originating from Detroit, Michigan. The commentators are sad because Vince McMahon got hospitalized due to Orton’s punt to the head of death. A lot has changed since the days of Jim Ross marking out because Stone Cold sent Vince to the hospital, eh? Anyhow, our hosts are Michael Cole and Jerry Lawler for Raw, Jim Ross and Tazz for Smackdown, and Matt Striker and Todd Grisham for ECW.

ECW Championship:
Jack Swagger © vs. Matt Hardy
They lock up for a shoving contest. Hardy connects with some shots, sending Swagger to ringside to recollect. Hardy pursues, directing Swagger to the ring for a clothesline. Swagger retreats to the floor again. Swagger returns and takes Hardy down, applying his amateur wrestling skills. Hardy reverses a wrist lock, but gets taken down again. Swagger is focusing on the arm. Hardy drop-kicks the face and nails a bulldog. Cover by Hardy gets 2. Hardy goes top rope, but Swagger pushes him to the floor. Back to the ring, Swagger returns to working on the arm. Swagger blocks a clothesline and nails a big boot for 2. More arm work from Swagger. Another desperate clothesline by Hardy gives him an opportunity to build momentum. Another bulldog by Hardy gets a cover for 2. Hardy goes drives an elbow off the second rope and gets another near fall. Belly to belly suplex by Swagger gets a cover for 2. They reverse suplexes, but it’s Swagger who nails a DDT. Swagger plants Hardy on the top rope but his superplex is blocked. Hardy hits a moonsault for 2.9! Well, it was a sloppy moonsault, so I can’t say I blame him. Twist of Fate and Side Effect are blocked. Swagger delivers a hard fought Gut Wrench Bomb for the win at 10:29. Nothing too exciting, but Swagger looked credible here, **½.
Winner and still ECW Champion: Jack Swagger