My First Live Event: WWE Raw July 1, 2002

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WWE Posters 2018

WWE Fastlane 2018 Review

WWE Fastlane

March 11th 2018

-From Columbus, OH. This is expected to be the final Smackdown-only pay-per-view for the foreseeable future as all events after Wrestlemania 34 will be dual branded. 

-Our hosts are Corey Graves (yay!), Tom Phillips (yay?), and Byron Saxton (yay…).

Rusev (with Aiden English) vs. Shinsuke Nakamura

Hard to predict a winner here, as Nakamura is heading into a WWE title match at Wrestlemania and Rusev is begging for a ‘Mania match on social media. Rusev gets the honor of making Nakamura look good before his big match, but he’s getting some pretty vocal crowd support due to the “Rusev Day” phenomenon. The opening minutes give Shinsuke to show off his athleticism against the larger Rusev. Nakamura’s taunting sends Rusev to ringside to refresh himself. An English distraction allows Rusev to take control by targeting the lower back in the heat sequence. The match slows down to the point where I start thinking about how much I don’t like Rusev’s short haircut or how much I wish Aiden English had a better spot. Nakamura mounts a comeback consisting of mostly kicking. The Green Smiley Shirt Fan who is at every major show looks bored. Rusev gets a nearfall from a super kick to the head and they trade kicks and block their signature holds in rapid fire fashion. Shinsuke stupidly runs smack into a super kick for a nearfall that several fans fell for. Shinsuke sneaks out of the Accolade and nails a pair of Kinshasas for the win at 14:26. Considering this is the first wrestling match I’ve watched in about two months, I thought I would enjoy this more. This was pretty boring and they did not match up well together at all, **.

Winner: Shinsuke Nakamura

United States Championship:

Bobby Roode © vs. Randy Orton

Orton is beyond stale at this point, so contending for a secondary title seems fitting for him at this stage in his career. Roode’s act requires a championship of some kind to be effective, so I’m glad he quickly found himself as U.S. Champion. They start off with some good old fashioned grappling, but I’m distracted by the fact it looks as though Roode fell asleep in a tanning bed. The announcers fawn over how great Randy is for hitting a back elbow, and I get flashbacks to Jim Ross salivating over him in his 2002 Raw debut. They seem to be telling a story that Roodie is somewhat out out of his league here and has to rise to the occasion. Meanwhile, Jinder Mahal is watching backstage on the ridiculously staged monitor. Roode takes control of the match with Orton-like offense, and I can’t tell if the crowd is dead or if I just have the volume too low (because my baby is sleeping). Roode can’t hit the glorious DDT and Orton makes a comeback (also with Orton-like offense… if you can’t tell, I’m not enjoying this). Roode hits a blockbuster for 2, and the fact that they’re teasing the finish is giving me hope that it’s almost over. I’m wrong and the match continues, with Orton backdropping Roode onto the guard rail. Roode then counters with a back drop in the ring, but Orton manages a superplex (that somewhat wakes the crowd up). Roode’s spinebuster gets 2 but he then gets distracted by the Wrestlemania sign. Roode then stupidly leaps off the turnbuckles into an RKO Out of Nowhere and loses at 19:28. The crowd pops, but I’m feeling like I don’t need to see any more Randy Orton matches, like, ever again. This match totally belongs in in the month of March as it was way too long, I couldn’t wait for it to end, and it was ice cold when I was expecting some heat, **.

Winner and new United States Champion: Randy Orton

-Recent WWE Champion Jinder Mahal storms the ring, as now he’s apparently obsessed with becoming the U.S. Champion. This would have been a great direction for Mahal, you know, 11 months ago before they randomly decided he just HAD to get a world title run. Jinder attacks Orton but Roode storms the ring and puts them both down with Glorious DDT’s. Ah ha, no one gets over!

Naomi and Becky Lynch vs. Carmella and Natalya

Carmella is still carrying the Money in the Bank briefcase she last summer, as rumor has it that no one backstage knows what to do with her at this point. These four women are basically treading water on their journey to the not-Fabulous Moolah Memorial battle royal at Wrestlemania. They keep a brisk pace in the early going, just kind of hitting spots, but at least it isn’t boring. Natalya catching Naomi with a powerbomb is particularly enjoyable. Naomi gets caught in the heel corner, and Carmella and Natalya seem to be having a good time hurting her. I appreciate the little touches, such as Carmella dragging Naomi by the hair and Natalya telling the referee to shut up. Also, I find myself feeling sorry for Naomi, so kudos to her for being an effective face in peril. Lynch gets the hot tag and unleashes her Irish fury on poor Nattie. Carmella stops Becky with a jawbreaker, but Naomi tags herself in and kicks Carmella into position for a Lynch flying leg drop. Natalya makes the save and the match totally breaks down. The chaos results with Carmella super kicking Lynch for the win at 8:52. Whoa, match of the show thus far, which isn’t exactly a ringing endorsement, **½.

Winners: Carmella and Natalya

Smackdown Tag Team Championship:

Jimmy and Jey Uso © vs. The New Day (Kofi Kingston and Xavier Woods, with Big E)

These guys had a highly regarded feud last summer, but this match feels like a bit like reheated pizza: doesn’t mean that it can’t be delicious, but still leftovers. Woods and an Uso trade some serious smack talk and they trade wild punches. Woods quickly finds himself stuck in Uso territory, and is selling like we’re 10 minutes in, though it’s been less than two minutes. Kofi gets a hot tag at 2:15, so I guess we’re short on time. The match breaks down before the 4 minute mark, making me feel as though I clicked a 2x button or something. It’s all finishers and nearfalls for about four straight minutes, which sounds awesome in theory, but somehow manages to be boring. The Usos wipe out the New Day with dives and the Bludgeon Brothers show up to ruin the fun, weidling hilariously fake looking Thor hammers. The Brothers attack both teams and the match is thrown out at 8:41. Pretty much nothing about this match worked, and it just served to set up a three-way rivalry for a likely Wrestlemania kick-off match, *½.

No Contest

-Renee Young interviews WWE Champion AJ Styles backstage about his six pack challenge tonight, and he’s not intimidated by his odds of victory tonight. He loses his thought when Shinsuke Nakamura interrupts. Shinsuke hopes AJ will win, but gets told off. There does not seem to be be much meat to this feud. 

Smackdown Women’s Championship:

Charlotte Flair © vs. Ruby Riott (with the Riott Squad)

The wrestler formerly known as Heidi Lovelace is performing in the semi-main event of a WWE pay-per-view. I love how full of surprises my wrestling fandom has been. They pace themselves like they are having a main event, complete with a feeling out process. Ruby impressively uses the ropes to clothesline Charlotte, but the announcers are all ho-hum about it (not as great as an Orton back elbow, I guess). Charlotte smashes Ruby into the barricade like a total bad-ass, but is distracted by the Riott Squad, and it’s time for the heat sequence. Naomi and Beckky Lynch run in to even the odds, but the damage has already been done. Ruby looks for rolling suplexes, but Charlotte counters with a slingshot suplex. Ruby retains control, hitting a senton off the turnbuckles. Ruby gets the heel MVP of the night award for keeping the heat sequence interesting with a straight jacket submission, but her second senton attempt is countered. Charlotte goes to the top rope and gets knocked to the floor, but counters Riott’s dive and (barely) connects with a standing moonsault off the barricade. Ruby comes back with a top rope head scissors. Charlotte plays an excellent bad-ass babyface and fires away with chops. Ruby manages some sort of leg sweep and the Riott Squad threaten to get involved, but the referee tosses Naomi and Becky for trying to help. The ref isn’t as dumb as he looks and tosses the Riott Squad too. Charlotte is pissed and outmaneuvers Ruby, whipping her over the shoulders into the turnbuckles. Ruby succumbs to the Figure Four at 13:45. Charlotte looked great here and delivered a heroic performance and the match of the night thus far, ***¼.

Winner and still Smackdown Women’s Champion: Charlotte Flair

-Royal Rumble winner, Asuka, is here! She struts to the ring and makes it clear that she’s coming after Charlotte’s title at Wrestlemania! I’m actually pretty jazzed to see this! 

-Smackdown GM Shane McMahon comes to ringside to witness the main event first-hand. There’s absolutely no possibility that he becomes physically involved in the match, no sir. 

WWE Championship:

AJ Styles © vs. John Cena vs. Baron Corbin vs. Dolph Ziggler vs. Sami Zayn vs. Kevin Owens

Six pack challenges are fine and all, but this one feels a tad underwhelming coming two weeks after an Elimination Chamber pay-per-view. There’s a story that Sami Zayn would be willing to lay down and let Kevin Owens pin him for the title, so that’s hanging over AJ’s head. Cena immediately hits everyone (except AJ) with Attitude Adjustments and is happy to rekindle his feud with AJ in a one on one setting. Really, at this point they should just ship all the losers out back and let this continue as a singles contest. AJ has the wherewithal to not get caught in an AA, so that’s why he’s the champion. Cena avoids the Styles Clash, but all his victims wake up at once and mob him. Cena gets dumped, and the others brawl chaotically. They employ the ladder match strategy of having two guys trade moves in the ring while everyone else rests/makes saves. I am looking for AJ to control the match like a champion and not be treated like another guy in a booking style where everything is random and someone happens to win. This sort of happens, as in between frantic nearfalls, AJ gets to trade strong styles blows with rivals, such as Owens. Cena wakes up and rekindles his love of making Ziggler look like a total mid-card joke, but this time Dolph counters an AA with a Fame-asser! AJ continues to look a step above everyone as he saves Dolph from the STF. the spot-fest continues at a rapid fire pace, and you know it’s awesome when there are moments where it seems like Baron Corbin or Dolph Ziggler could become WWE Champion and it would be alright! In fact, Corbin puts Ziggler through a fiberglass barricade in the stands, a novel differentiation from the normal spot. Meanwhile, after lots of scuffling, Cena puts Styles through an announce table with an AA! This leaves Cena alone against Zayn and Owens, who find themselves in a situation where Zayn could indeed lay down for his friend. Zayn, almost begrudgingly, lays down, but then lures Owens into a roll-up! ZAYN AND OWENS START BRAWLING! Owens avoids a powerbomb on the apron with a backdrop! Sami, still not a babyface, talks some smack at Shane, and inadvertently causes him to get superkicked by Owens. Sami dives through the turnbuckles for a DDT on Owens. I am so confused right now, but I’m loving this. Dolph interrupts but eats a pop-up powerbomb, but Shane stops the ref from counting to 3. Owens is irate and is an easy victim for a Helluva kick, but Shane prevents Sami’s 3 count as well. With everyone down, Shane takes a seat. Corbin returns wielding the ring steps and destroys everyone, except Cena, lol, who AA”s him onto them. It’s time for rapid fire finishers, until AJ pops back and finishes Owens with the springboard clothesline at 21:55! The out-of-nowhere finish kind of hurt, but this was a fantastic main event full of twist, turns, and cool moments. The best part is that AJ Styles was actually positioned well, so the spots didn’t feel random, but somewhat organic. This almost saves the show, ****½.

Winner and still WWE Champion: AJ Styles

Final Thoughts: I am relieved that for the time being, Smackdown-only pay-per-views are once again a thing of the past. I’ll admit Fastlane 2018 wasn’t nearly as bad as some of the Smackdown offerings from 2004-2007, and then 2017, but this was a really flat show until the last two matches came along to salvage things. An outstanding main event leaves me in a good enough mood to avoid the dreaded “Thumbs Down” branding, so we’ll say “Thumbs in the Middle.” I sure picked a doozy of a show to end my long review hiatus. 

WWE Posters 2017

NXT Takeover: San Antonio Review

WWE NXT Takeover: San Antonio
January 28th 2017

From San Antonio, TX. Our hosts are Corey Graves, Percy Watson, and Tom Phillips.

Tye Dillinger vs. Eric Young (with SAnity)
Maybe it's the Eric Young factor, co-ed status, and already shifting roster, but SAnity feels like a stable right out of TNA in their post-Spike TV era. Dillinger is crazy over here, despite having a one-note gimmick and perennially positioned as a lower card guy. Dillinger gains the upper hand early with chops and pops the crowd by dropping Young to the floor. Killian Dane distracts long enough for Young to hit a crossbody and cool looking flying elbow. Dillinger absorbs a perfectly acceptable beatdown and keeps the fans on his side with his selling. Dillinger saves himself with a drop-kick counter to a flying Young. Eric wins a slugfest but Tye grabs him by the BEARD and mounts a comeback. Dillinger's top rope suplex sets up a great near fall. Dillinger fights off SAnity interference and counters Young's wheelbarrow suplex for a roll-up. The Tye-Breaker connects, but Alexander Wolfe puts Eric's foot on the ropes. Dillinger wipes SAnity out with a flying crossbody. Young counters a second crossbody and nails his wheelbarrow suplex for the win at 10:55. Solid opening contest that got the crowd going and solidifies SAnity as a dangerous faction, **1/2.
Winner: Eric Young

WWE Posters 2016

Let the tradition continue:

Retro Rowe: WWE No Mercy 2008 Review

-To be quite honest, I have almost no interest in watching this pay-per-view other than to keep up my streak of reviewing the recent shows. The word of mouth going around the internet is that both main events delivered, so hopefully I’ll be in for a pleasant surprise. (2016 Rowe: Uh, yeah, you're in for a total surprise. I wonder why I wasn't more optimistic about the Jericho/Michaels blow-off, considering that feud had completely fueled my fandom for the year). 

-The opening video package is different than usual, incorporating a 50’s style intro and then transitions into a music video set to "All Nightmare Long" by Metallica (great song, by the way). (2016 Rowe: that entire "Death Magnetic" album is sooo underrated. Great comeback effort by Metallica before things got weird again).

-From Portland, Oregon. Our hosts for the evening are Michael Cole, Jerry Lawler, Jim Ross, Tazz, and Todd Grisham. Matt Striker is missing from action, so Jerry Lawler is filling in for the ECW title match.

ECW Championship:
Matt Hardy © vs. Mark Henry (with Tony Atlas)
Yep, the ECW title is opening another pay-per-view. And some people still like to argue that it’s a “main event” belt. They lock up and Henry unsurprisingly has the strength advantage. Hardy goes for a headlock but Henry easily tosses him off. Shoulder block by Henry leads to a stretch of dominance. Hardy eventually counters and begins to target Henry’s knees. Henry fights back with a clothesline, but is selling the abuse his knees took. Hardy slips free again and goes back to work on the left leg. The action spills to ringside, where Henry shoves Hardy to the floor. Hardy rebounds quickly and continues to punish the leg. Henry kicks him off and hits a big boot with the good leg. Cover by Henry gets 2. Henry splashes Hardy off the second rope, selling the injured knee nicely along the way. Time for a neck vice. Hardy tries to mount some momentum, but runs straight into a bear hug. Hardy tries to counter with a sunset flip, but Henry holds onto the ropes. Hardy escapes a splash. Hardy mounts some offense, connecting with some elbow shots off the second rope. Side effect by Hardy gets a cover for 2.5. Henry blocks the Twist of Fate and hits a big splash. Henry’s knee is too injured for him to go for the immediate cover, so Hardy kicks out. Hardy blocks the World’s Strongest Slam by repeatedly hitting the leg and nails the Twist of Fate at 8:01 to retain the title. Surprisingly solid big man/little man match up, **½.
Winner and still ECW Champion: Matt Hardy

Retro Rowe: WWE Unforgiven 2008

-Originally written in the fall of 2008. I was such a mark during this time, though I fancied myself a smarkety smart mark. 

-Shawn Michaels and Chris Jericho settle their score and all three brand championships are defended in “innovative” scramble matches. The rules don’t favor the champions, so it will be a real trick for Triple H, CM Punk, and Mark Henry to hang on to their title belts.

-They are airing live from Cleveland, Ohio. Our hosts for the evening are Michael Cole and Jerry Lawler for Raw, Jim Ross and Tazz for Smackdown, and Todd Grisham and Matt Striker for ECW.

ECW Championship Scramble:
Mark Henry © (with Tony Atlas) vs. Matt Hardy vs. The Miz vs. Finlay (with Hornswoggle) vs. Chavo Guerrero (with Bam Neely)
Each of these scrambles has a 20 minute time limit, two superstars start the match and a new star arrives every five minutes, whoever gets a pinfall is the temporary champion, and whoever is the champ at the end of the match is the official title holder.

Matt Hardy and The Miz are the first two participants. They exchange holds in the early going. Things pick up with The Miz hitting a hip toss and targeting the head. The Miz blocks a bulldog, but unwittingly hangs himself up in the turnbuckle. Hardy hits an innovative sit-out power bomb and gets a 2 count. Clothesline by Hardy gets another 2. Miz hangs Hardy on the second rope and dives over to target the head. Cover by Miz gets 2, leading to a chinlock. Sunset flip by Hardy, but Miz blocks the cover. Clothesline by Miz gets a near fall. Miz hits the Reality Check, but Hardy rolls from the ring. By the time Miz gets him in a pinning predicament, Hardy easily kicks out. Five minutes have passed, and Chavo Guerrero enters the fray. Chavo disposes of Miz and hits Hardy with the frog splash to become the temporary ECW Champion. The crowd actually popped for that too, which I find surprising. The Miz goes on the offense against Chavo. Rolling Liger kick by Chavo sends Miz to the floor, setting up a dive. Hardy is up and goes after Chavo. The Miz goes high risk, but is met by Chavo. Miz knocks him off, and hits a flying cross body on both Hardy and Guerrero! Hardy cleans house. Side effect on Chavo by Hardy is enough for a three count, making him the current ECW Champion. Hardy dumps Guerrero and works a headlock on Miz. Things lead to a stand-off.

Ten minutes have passed, and Mark Henry confidently makes his way to the match. Miz, Hardy, and Guerrero try to triple team Henry, but he effortlessly throws them off. Henry cleans house. Henry slams Chavo and temporarily regains his ECW Championship. Hardy slingshots himself into Henry’s fist and tumbles to the floor. Henry continues to dish out the punishment to Guerrero and Miz. Chavo finds himself stuck in the world’s strongest bear bug. Hardy attempts a high risk move but Henry catches him with another bear hug. 15 minutes have passed and the final man, Finlay, joins the match. Hornswoggle immediately hides under the ring, as Finlay strikes Henry with a DDT, trying to get the quick pin. Henry uses yet another bear hug to slow down Finlay. Hornswoggle provides the distraction, and Finlay knocks Henry with the shillelagh. Hardy assists in dumping Henry, but Finlay strikes Hardy with the Celtic Cross. Finlay becomes the temporary ECW Champion! Missile drop-kick by Miz takes out Finlay. Hardy hit’s the twist of fate on Miz and wins the title! Frog splash on Miz by Chavo almost gets a pin, but it’s broken by the others. Henry returns and his pinfall attempt on Miz is also interrupted. Hardy keeps breaking up Henry's frequent pinfall attempts. Finlay attempts the Celtic Cross on Hardy, but Henry breaks it up. Henry and Hardy are on a virtual stand-off as less than a minute remains. All five men are all over each other as the time expires and Hardy is declared the winner at 20:00! There were some slow parts, but this did a great job of establishing the scramble rules and setting the tone for the evening, ***.
Winner and new ECW Champion: Matt Hardy

Retro Rowe: Summerslam 2008 Review

-Originally written in August 2008. 

-Welcome to the "Biggest Blockbuster of the Summer!" Tonight, Cena and Batista battle for the first time, Triple H faces his biggest challenger yet, CM Punk sets out to prove himself against his biggest naysayer, and Edge and Undertaker bring their rivalry into the infamous Hell in a Cell.

-Our hosts for the evening are Jim Ross and Tazz for Smackdown, Michael Cole and Jerry Lawler for Raw, and Matt Striker and Todd Grisham for ECW.

Montel Vontavious Porter vs. Jeff Hardy
MVP attempts a big boot right out of the gate, but Hardy is ready for him. Hardy lures MVP to ringside and batters him around. Cover by Hardy gets 1. Scoop slam by Hardy and an over the ropes leg drop. Hardy works the arm. MVP gets the rope break and the match restarts. They exchange kicks, with Hardy getting the upper hand. Hardy runs into an overhead belly to belly suplex from MVP, earning a cover for 2. MVP works the head and arm. MVP transitions into a camel clutch. Hardy counters with a monkey flip, but MVP wraps himself around the leg for a hold. Hardy gets a rope break, so MVP kicks him around a bit. Hardy tries to use the ropes for a catapult, but MVP catches him in process and continues to dish out a pounding. MVP places Hardy in the tree of woe, and MVP snaps his head to the mat. Cover by MVP gets 2. Hardy escapes a power bomb and counters with a Neckbreaker. Hardy mule kicks MVP into the corner, but MVP blocks the corner drop-kick. Cover by MVP gets 2.5. MVP drop-kicks Hardy to the corner but Hardy counters the big boot with a clothesline. Side Russian legsweep by Hardy and a pinning combination for 2. MVP counters the corner drop-kick again, but Hardy counters into a sunset flip. Whisper in the Wind by Hardy, who goes high risk. Shelton Benjamin runs in, so Hardy dives onto him on the floor. Hardy goes for the Swanton bomb on MVP, but misses. MVP hits the drive-by kick to the head and picks up the win at 10:10. This was a good way to open the show, ***.
Winner: MVP

Retro Rowe: WWE Great American Bash 2008 Review

-Again, not a review I'm all that proud of, just want to save it for my own reasons. Written in 2008 around the time the pay-per-view aired. 

-They are airing live from Long Island, New York. Our hosts for the evening are Michael Cole and Jerry Lawler for Raw, Jim Ross and Mick Foley for Smackdown, and Mike Adamle and Tazz for ECW.

WWE Tag Team Championship:
John Morrison and The Miz © vs. Curt Hawkins and Zach Ryder vs. Jesse and Festus vs. Finlay and Hornswoggle
Festus clears the ring as the bell sounds. Miz and Morrison dish Hornswoggle into the path of Festus. Hornswoggle rolls up his sleeves for a fight, which is just simply adorable. Festus is distracted, and Hornswoggle launches himself to the floor on the champs. Festus gets his hands on The Miz and dominates him, making a quick tag to Jesse. Monkey flip by Jesse is followed up with a Neckbreaker variation. The Miz kicks out of a cover, but Festus gets a tag and continues the hard hitting assault. There’s an audible “We want Finlay” chant in the building, and the crowd gets their wish, unfortunately Finlay is immediately dropped. Morrison tags and isolates Finlay, keeping things fresh with The Miz. Finlay escapes a hold, but Miz immediately hit’s a side Russian takedown. Morrison tags and catapults onto a propped Finlay. Morrison works a headlock. Finlay fights to his feet, but eats a Neckbreaker. Finlay mounts a comeback against the champions. Zach Ryder gets a blind tag and aggressively jumps Finlay. Hawkins gets a tag and dishes out a beating before tagging his partner back. Finlay hit’s the Celtic Cross on Ryder, but Hawkins prevents a pinfall. Finlay gets a blind shillelagh shot. The Edgeheads rebound and put Finlay in a chinlock. Hornswoggle tags and takes down Ryder with a hurracanrana. Jesse gets a blind tag (to some heat) and cleans house on Ryder. Festus gets a tag and dishes out the punishment onto Ryder, and takes a moment to kick Hawkins off the turnbuckle. Festus fights off Miz and Morrison. Hawkins prevents Jesse and Festus’s double team, and Hawkins and Ryder pick up the win at 9:06. The match was standard, but this was a pretty lousy way to end Miz and Morrison’s lengthy title run, **.
Winners and new WWE Tag Team Champions: Curt Hawkins and Zach Ryder

Retro Rowe: WWE Night of Champions 2008 Review

WWE Night of Champions - June 29, 2008
by SamoaRowe

-Originally written soon after the live airing in 2008. This is not a review I'm particularly proud of, it's very wordy and I think I had my "super mark" hat on while writing more than my "critic" one. Still, I don't want to lose it, so here it is. 

-Every championship in the WWE is on the line. Tonight, Batista and John Cena try to take a World title back to Raw, as they challenge Edge and Triple H.

-Our hosts for the evening are Jim Ross and Mick Foley for Smackdown, Michael Cole and Jerry Lawler for Raw, and Tazz and Mike Adamle for ECW. They are airing live from Dallas, Texas.

WWE Tag Team Championship:
John Morrison and The Miz © vs. Finlay and Hornswoggle
Thanks to the draft, Finlay and Hornswoggle are official ECW superstars now, so the titles aren’t going back to Smackdown any time soon. Finlay and Morrison kick the match off for their respective teams. Finlay dominates early, smashing Morrison with his forearm. Finlay claws the shoulder, but Morrison blocks a turnbuckle smash and reverses. Morrison tries leaping over the ropes onto Finlay on the floor, but Finlay pulls out of the curtain, crotching the Shaman of Sexy. Hornswoggle tries to make the save, but Miz and Morrison drag him into the ring. Finlay makes the save, cleaning house on the champions, and battering Hornswoggle around. Finlay and Morrison are still the legal men, but Miz provides a distraction, allowing the champions to gain momentum. Miz tags works the chin. The champions botch a double team spot, as Finlay falls off of Morrison’s knees as Miz attempted a springboard elbow drop. Miz tags and but takes an inverted atomic drop. Hornswoggle tags and hit’s a tirt-a-whirl head scissors on Miz and a bulldog! Cover by Hornswoggle gets 2. Morrison cheap shots Hornswoggle. Morrison tags and aggressively shoves Hornswoggle around. Miz and Morrison appear frustrated that a leprechaun has given them such a challenge and vent their anger on poor Hornswoggle. Hornswoggle dodges a charging Miz, but Morrison tags and cuts off a tag to Finlay. Hornswoggle sneaks through Morrison’s legs to tag his father. Finlay cleans house on the Miz and Morrison. Finlay hit’s the Celtic Cross on Morrison and positions him for the Tadpole Splash, but Miz makes the save. Morrison tosses Hornswoggle off the top and pins him for the win at 8:48. The right team went over here, but Finlay and Hornswoggle make for a surprisingly effective team. This was entertaining, **½.
Winners and still WWE Tag Team Champions: John Morrison and The Miz

Retro Rowe: WWE One Night Stand 2008 Review

WWE One Night Stand

June 1, 2008
by SamoaRowe

-Originally written pretty close to the live airing in 2008. 

-It’s the “One night a year the WWE goes extreme!” Every match has an “extreme” gimmick attached to it, as we’ll see Singapore cane, last man standing, first blood, stretcher, falls count anywhere, TLC, and “I quit” matches.

-From San Diego, California. Our hosts for the evening are Jim Ross and Jerry Lawler for Raw, Michael Cole and Mick Foley for Smackdown, and Mike Adamle and Tazz for ECW.

Falls Count Anywhere match:
Jeff Hardy vs. Umaga
I know, I know, this is something like the millionth match in their never-ending rivalry, but their matches tend to be quality, so I’ll let it go. Hardy starts off by running into Umaga’s elbow. Hard Irish whip by Umaga. Hardy quickly rebounds with Whisper in the Wind. Umaga catches Hardy (attempting a flying cross body) and slams him hard to the mat rather awesomely. Hardy ducks the rampaging Umaga, causing him to crash to the floor. Hardy whips himself onto Umaga on the floor and goes for the cover and gets 2. Umaga whips Hardy into the barricade. Umaga drops a chair Hardy and directs him towards the corner of the floor, nearing the stage. Umaga no-sells a shot from a giant traffic cone and kicks Hardy in the face. Hardy dodges a splash from Umaga, causing the big man to hit the some tech equipment. Hardy uses a fire extinguisher to chase Umaga to the backstage area. From here, the match turns into a 1999 hardcore match, as they brawl up the stairs. Hardy slides down a rail and wipes Umaga out. Cover on the stairs by Hardy gets 2. Umaga huffs and puffs his way up the stairs to chase Hardy and they continue brawling in the lobby and into the parking lot. The parking lot brawl ends up being really entertaining, with lots of use of the parked trucks. Hardy climbs up the side of a truck and kicks Umaga off. Hardy hit’s the swanton bomb off the truck and picks up the win at 9:18. This was silly fun, **.
Winner: Jeff Hardy

Retro Rowe: WWE Judgment Day 2008 Review

WWE Judgment Day  

May 18, 2008
by SamoaRowe

-Originally written in late 2008, after I'd purchased the event on DVD.

-From Omaha, Nebraska. Our hosts are Jim Ross and Jerry Lawler for Raw, Michael Cole and Mick Foley for Smackdown, and Mike Adamle and Tazz for ECW.

John Bradshaw Layfield vs. John Cena
These two put on a forgotten classic at this event three years ago, but I can’t remember these two ever having a good match otherwise. Slow start with some shoving. Headlock by Cena but JBL makes an uncharacteristically clean break in the corner. Side headlock by JBL. Cena attempts the STFU, but JBL hides in the ropes. JBL snaps Cena’s arm into the ropes and thrusts him into the ring post. JBL continues to work over Cena’s arm. Cena powers out of an armbar in impressive fashion, though he’s selling some major arm pain. JBL resorts to smashing and stomping. Cover by JBL gets 2. Cena fires back despite the pain, but misses a flying leg drop. Cena tries to suplex JBL over the ropes, but JBL counters and drops him on the ropes. JBL knocks Cena off the apron into the barricade. JBL remains in control with his methodical pounding. Bear hug by JBL, because this match wasn’t exciting enough. JBL transitions into a body scissors, also extending the targeted arm. Cena powers to his feet, but gets caught in a full nelson. Cena breaks out and attempts an F-U, but his body gives out. JBL goes back to the body scissors and I’m officially bored. Cena counters with a slam, which required all his strength. They exchange shots but Cena misses a head of steam. Big boot by JBL and some elbow drops to the back. Short-arm clothesline by JBL, who then just stares at his fallen opponent. Cena ducks another clothesline and connects with the F-U for the sudden victory at 15:04. Well, that’s just an obnoxious finish. Far too long for what was accomplished, not to mention a poor opener, *½.
Winner: John Cena

Retro Rowe: WWE Backlash 2008 Review

WWE Backlash  

April 27, 2008
by SamoaRowe

-Originally written back in 2008, when I was much worse about thinking I had to mention every little move in my PBP's. 

-From Baltimore, Maryland. Our hosts for the evening are Jerry Lawler and Jim Ross for Raw, Mike Adamle and The Tazz for ECW, and Michael Cole and Mick Foley for Smackdown!

United States Championship:
Montel Vontavious Porter © vs. Matt Hardy
MVP has held on to the U.S. title for eleven months, winning the title in a 2/3 falls match last year at Judgment Day against Chris Benoit. Hardy has been chasing MVP for the belt for over five months, with injuries and other circumstances getting in the way. MVP targets the previously injured knee of Matt Hardy in the early going, but Hardy dodges. Some ground and pound work by MVP until Hardy fires away. MVP flees to ringside to regroup, but Hardy directs him back to the ring. Hip toss by Hardy gets him a cover attempt. Elbow drop by Hardy for another cover. Side headlock takedown by Hardy. Elbow off the turnbuckles by Hardy gets yet another cover. Even Michael Cole admits that these covers are not designed to end the match, but wear down MVP. MVP rebounds with a suplex and plants Hardy on the top rope. MVP climbs, but Hardy knocks him off, but MVP blocks a moonsault! Snapmare by MVP and a knee drop for a cover. MVP stretches Hardy’s midsection. Knees to the gut by MVP, using the ropes for leverage. Hardy counters and gets a cover. Belly to belly suplex by MVP for a near fall, followed by a series of elbow drops (for yet another cover). MVP drops Hardy with a back press slam. Hardy hit’s a desperate clothesline, and both men are down. Corner clothesline and bull dog by Hardy gets a 2 count. MVP blocks a side effect and hangs him up on the ropes. Hardy blocks the playmaker and hit’s the side effect for a close 2 count. Hardy goes high risk, but MVP drop-kicks him. MVP climbs up, and gets a side effect off the top for good measure! Hardy is slow to gain the cover, so MVP kicks out. MVP blocks the twist of fate with a backslide, Hardy kicks out and goes for a school boy. MVP blocks the twist of fate again and punishes Hardy in the corner. MVP kicks Hardy in the head, sending him to ringside. Hardy is almost counted out, rolls back to the ring, only for another kick to the skull. MVP sizes Hardy up for the win, charges and misses a kick in the corner. Hardy hit’s the twist of fate and gets the pin fall victory at 11:29! MVP’s 11 month reign is over! The match was solid, but not as lively as some of their previous outings, **½.
Winner and new United States Champion: Matt Hardy

Really Retro Rowe: WWE Wrestlemania 24 Review

WWE WrestleMania 24
by SamoaRowe

-Originally written way back in 2008. 

-Disclaimer: this review is only going to cover the matches, as I’m watching this on MegaVideo.com.

-This is the biggest show of the year. Over 70,000 fans have filled up the Citrus Bowl in Orlando, Florida. Our hosts for the evening are Jim Ross and Jerry Lawler for Raw, Michael Cole and Jonathan Coachman for Smackdown, and Tazz and Joey Styles are sitting in for ECW related matches.

Belfast Brawl:
JBL vs. Finlay (with Hornswoggle)
Finlay is kicked off the apron before the match can officially begin. Finlay dumps JBL into the ring and aggressively pounds on the Texan. Finlay heads to ringside to retrieve the usual weapons. JBL catches a garbage can and bashes it over Finlay’s skull. JBL, wielding a can lid in one hand and a cookie sheet in the other, nails Finlay with both. JBL fetches the steel steps from ringside and tosses it into the ring. JBL sets up Finlay for a piledriver on the steps, but Finlay back body drops him to the mat. Kick to the head by Finlay and a nasty shot with the cookie sheet. Cover by Finlay gets 2. JBL recovers and pummels Finlay to the corner. Hornswoggle grabs a kendo stick and helps Finlay knock out JBL with the shillelagh at ringside. Back in the ring, Finlay kicks a trash can into JBL’s face. Finlay sets up a table in the corner. JBL reverses an Irish whip into the table, but Finlay hit’s a clothesline. JBL runs to ringside to escape Finlay and the steel steps. Hornswoggle attacks JBL, but gets kicked off. Finlay repeatedly knocks Hornswoggle’s head into the announce table. Suicide dive by Finlay to the floor, but JBL cracks a can lid into his head in mid-air! DAMN! Cover by JBL gets 2. JBL randomly grabs a trash can and whips it at Hornswoggle at ringside! That was so mean it was awesome! JBL goes for the clothesline from hell, but runs into a weapon shot. Finlay angrily destroys JBL with a weapon. Finlay sends JBL crashing into the table, but can only get 2 with a cover. Finlay holds the steps over his head, but JBL hit’s a kendo stick to the knees, causing Finlay to land face first on the steps. Clothesline from hell by JBL is enough to put Finlay away at. Hornswoggle is disappointed, as is the crowd. This was a fun, yet short, weapons brawl, though I’d dare say the wrong man went over. **¾.
Winner @ 9:07: JBL

Retro Rowe: WWE No Way Out 2008 Review

WWE No Way Out 

February 17, 2008
by SamoaRowe

-Originally written for DaWrestlingSite in 2008 here.

-Follow me on Twitter @SamoaRowe

-From Las Vegas, Nevada. Our hosts for the evening are Jim Ross and Jerry Lawler for Raw, Michael Cole and Jonathan Coachman for Smackdown, and Joey Styles and Tazz for ECW.

ECW Championship:
Chavo Guerrero © vs. CM Punk
This match had some fun build, as CM Punk disguised himself as a mariachi to ruin Chavo’s celebration ceremony and later tossed Guerrero into the Gulf of Mexico. Chavo slaps as the bell rings, so Punk kicks him in the head. Tirt-a-whirl backbreaker by Punk gets a cover for 2. Hard Irish whip by Punk, but Chavo kicks him to the floor. Back to the ring, an uppercut by Chavo gets a one count. Punk connects with some stiff kicks, but Chavo retakes control. Suplex by Guerrero leads to a body scissors. Punk reverses into a catapult into the turnbuckles. Kick and knee lift by Punk and a back body drop. Chavo gets a boot up but runs into a power slam. Chavo counters the Go 2 Sleep with a hurricanrana. Tornado DDT by Chavo gets 2.5. Enziguri by Punk gets a cover for 2.5. Punk mocks Chavo’s mannerisms, and by doing so mocks Eddie, so the crowd boos this. Punk goes for the three amigos and ends up slamming Punk and gets some near falls. Chavo blocks the GTS with the ropes but gets kicked off the apron. Punk rolls Chavo to the ring for a cover but can only get 2. Punk attempts a superplex but Chavo blocks. Punk knocks Guerrero off his feet on top but his head scissors takedown is blocked. Chavo hit’s the frog splash for the win at 7:15, to some big crowd approval. The match had its moments, but they wrestled an unintelligent match considering each man’s face/heel alignment, **.
Winner and still ECW Champion: Chavo Guerrero

Retro Rowe: WWE Royal Rumble 2008 Review

Royal Rumble  

January 27, 2008
by SamoaRowe

-Originally written in 2008.

-From Madison Square Garden in New York City. The intro video is better than average, with clips from previous Rumbles, nifty shots of the current roster, and a fun taped bit where they are all brawling on a crowded subway car. It was around this time that the WWE seemed to start giving a damn about their production values again. This is also the first WWE PPV to be presented in HD.

-Our hosts for the evening are Michael Cole and Jonathan Coachman for Smackdown, Jim Ross and Jerry Lawler for Raw, and Joey Styles and Tazz for ECW.

Career Threatening match:
Ric Flair vs. Montel Vontavious Porter
MVP’s United States Championship isn’t on the line (of course). Flair must win this match or he’ll be forced into retirement. Flair cuts a promo before the match, putting over his history in MSG. Flair plays to the crowd in the early going, but MVP knocks him down with a side tackle. MVP corners Flair and plays to the crowd himself. Flair works on the arm. MVP slaps Flair, but gets some vicious chops in return. MVP takes down Flair and hit’s a big boot. Neckbreaker by MVP gets a cover for 2. Snapmare by MVP leads to an arm lock. MVP pummels Flair, but runs into his elbow. Flair tackles the knee, but MVP counters the figure four. MVP blocks the figure four again with a roll-up for 2. More chopping by Flair and smashing by MVP. Back body drop by MVP and a running boot to the jaw. Cover by MVP would have been it, but Flair gets a rope break. Schoolboy by Flair gets 2. MVP is fired up and smashes Flair for another cover. Double underhook suplex by MVP gets a cover for 2. MVP plants Flair on the top turnbuckles and hit’s a superplex! Flair kicks out again and chops his way back into the game. Both men knock each other down. Flair rolls up MVP for 2. Flair attempts a backslide, but only gets 2 again. More chopping by Flair. Flair blocks the Playmaker and locks in the figure four! MVP taps out at 7:45. The match was just kind of there, **.
Winner: Ric Flair

Retro Rowe: WWE Armageddon 2007 Reviews

WWE Armageddon 2007

December 16, 2007 by Samoa Rowe

-Follow me on Twitter @samoarowe

-From Pittsburgh, PA. Our hosts are Michael Cole and JBL for Smackdown, Jim Ross and Jerry Lawler for Raw, and Joey Styles and Tazz for ECW.

United States Championship:
MVP © vs. Rey Mysterio

MVP is in the midst of what would go on to be an 11 month title reign. Rey had nothing better to do this month. Rey quickly escapes MVP’s grappling attempts. Rey shows MVP what’s up with a hurricanrana. The referee prevents Rey from making a dive, so Rey has to jump over him, wiping out MVP in the process. MVP finally counters, dropping Rey head-first into the corner. We get the obligatory heat period, as MVP targets the head. Rey lands on his feet on a press slam attempt and kicks MVP into the ropes. Rey makes his comeback, complete with a springboard lateral press. Mysterio botches a springboard leg senton and might have injured himself in the process. Rey recovers and modifies his offense with a back senton off the ropes. MVP smells blood and nails a hard clothesline. They battle on the top until Mysterio nails a top rope hurricanrana. MVP delivers a big boot for 2. Rey counters with a reverse DDT for another near fall. Rey misses 619 and settles for a hurricanrana off the apron. MVP has had enough and allows himself to get counted out at 11:27. Cheap finish to an otherwise cookie cutter match, **.
Winner via count-out: Rey Mysterio