Retro Rowe: WWE Wrestlemania 27 Review

WWE WrestleMania 27 - April 3, 2011

by SamoaRowe

-I can’t believe I didn’t review this until now (sometime in late 2011). I ordered the show live and about five minutes later learned that the advertised Daniel Bryan vs. Sheamus match took place as a dark match. And ended with a no contest when the lumberjacks got involved. And turned into a battle royal. And then The Great Khali won said battle royal. Needless to say, I was pissed off, as the thought of seeing Bryan Danielson compete at Wrestlemania was what pushed me over the line into ordering it. I was then in a grumpy mood for the first hour of the show and had less patience for all the filler than I would have on a normal night. Anyhoo, on to the show!

Retro Rowe: WWE Bragging Rights 2010 Review

WWE Hell in a Cell 2010

by Samoa Rowe

October 24, 2010

-From Minneapolis, MN. Our hosts are Michael Cole, Jerry Lawler, and Matt Striker.

-Vickie Guerrero is the first person through the curtain. She is the proud girlfriend of Intercontinental Champion Dolph Ziggler.

Intercontinental Champion Dolph Ziggler (with Vickie Guerrero) vs. United States Champion Daniel Bryan

Ziggler holds his own while exchanging holds with Bryan. Bryan leaps over Vickie to wipe Ziggler out at ringside. Running drop-kick by Bryan, but Ziggler snaps Bryan into the ropes to take control. Bryan counters a backbreaker and sneaks in some pinning predicaments. Ziggler delivers an inverted body slam to regain control. Cue the chinlock! Bryan misses a running drop-kick and crashes into the turnbuckles. Ziggler wears down Bryan for a while until suffering a chin breaker counter. Bryan mounts a comeback with hard kicks. Leg lariat by Bryan gets 2. Springboard drop-kick by Bryan but Ziggler kicks out. Super-kick by Ziggler gets a near fall. The Zig Zag is blocked and Bryan delivers a nasty head kick. Bryan creatively sets up a back superplex, but Ziggler counters in mid-air! Bryan counters the cover! They wipe each other out with cross body attempts. They trade pinning predicaments until Ziggler nails the Fame-asser. Ziggler thinks he’s won, but Bryan had the ropes. Cue the sleeper! Ziggler spends too much time talking smack and gets trapped in the Labell Lock! Ziggler taps at 16:11! Bryan and Ziggler pulled out all the stops to have a good match within the confines of the WWE mid-card formula, ***¼.
Winner: Daniel Bryan

Retro Rowe: WWE Hell in a Cell 2010 Review

WWE Hell in a Cell 2010

by Samoa Rowe

October 3, 2010

-From Dallas, TX. Our hosts are Jerry Lawler, Michael Cole, and Matt Striker.

United States Championship (Submissions Count Anywhere):
Daniel Bryan © vs. John Morrison vs. The Miz

Looks like we’re getting this show off on the right note. Miz cuts a promo on his way to the ring bitching about how Bryan and Morrison wouldn’t have made it without him. Miz gets overwhelmed quickly and takes a break. He gets chased around the ring , forcing Morrison and Bryan to work together. Bryan and Morrison show off some chain wrestling while Miz is down. They roll to the floor with their legs locked and Miz finds an opening to attack both of them. Morrison ties Miz up in the ropes but Bryan breaks it up with a drop-kick. Bryan locks Cattle Mutilation on Miz! They reverse heel hooks in entertaining fashion until Morrison breaks it with Starship Pain. Morrison almost makes Bryan tap to a modified Haas of Pain and connects with a corkscrew plancha on Miz. They brawl into the crowd with Miz in the driver’s seat. Miz brings a production cart from the back and rams it into Morrison. Bryan gets placed on the cart and Miz drives it into the stage! Morrison counters and leaps over the cart for a drop-kick. Miz bounces back with the Skull Crushing Finale on Morrison on the concrete! Bryan and Miz square off on the stage and wipe each other out with clotheslines. Morrison climbs the lighting and perches on the cage wall on the stage. Morrison delivers a flying cross body onto the stage! Morrison applies a Texas Cloverleaf on Miz, but Alex Riley runs in for the save, tossing Morrison down the ramp. Bryan throws Riley into a cameraman. Bryan forces Miz to tap out to the Labell Lock at 13:30! I know I wasn’t paying close attention to WWE during this time, but I didn’t hear a thing about this match. This was a wildly inventive outing, worth checking out, ***¾.
Winner and still United States Champion: Daniel Bryan

Retro Rowe: WWE Night of Champions 2010

WWE Night Of Champions 2010

September 19, 2010

by Samoa Rowe

-From Chicago, IL. Our hosts are Michael Cole, Jerry Lawler, and Matt Striker.

-Vickie Guerrero and Kaitlyn come out to introduce Dolph Ziggler. I’m reminded that Kaitlyn is still an NXT rookie.

Intercontinental Championship:
Dolph Ziggler © (with Vickie Guerrero and Kaitlyn) vs. Kofi Kingston

Oh goodie, THIS match again. Kingston and Ziggler seem doomed to forever feud against one another in a perpetual limbo of hitting the glass ceiling. Vickie is insecure that Dolph is more attracted to Kaitlyn and sends her away when Dolph gets tossed and therefore needs tending to. Ziggler rebounds and goes to work on Kofi’s head. Ziggler nails the Fame-asser for 2 and continues the head attacks. If you like rest holds, this is the match for you. Dolph’s chinlock is what we’d normally be missing during a commercial break. Kingston goes ballistic and makes a comeback. Trouble in Paradise misses but Kingston blocks the sleeper. Ziggler uses a rope break to save himself. Kofi dives off the apron and loses his cool pummeling Ziggler on the floor. Dolph locks on the sleeper and Kingston dramatically reverses. Dolph orders Vickie not to interfere and dodges Trouble in Paradise. The Zig Zag finishes it at 12:35. This was the usual effort you get from WWE mid-carders these days. I don’t want to see Kingston and Ziggler ever face each other again, unless a World title is on the line, **½.
Winner and still Intercontinental Champion: Dolph Ziggler

Retro Rowe: WWE Wrestlemania 26

WWE WrestleMania 26 - March 28, 2010

by SamoaRowe

I watched the show live last weekend with some friends. It wasn't the "greatest of all time" but it was still a fine show. It was also the first full wrestling event I've watched in HD, so I think I was noticing a lot more of the botches than I normally would, as there seemed to be quite a few scattered throughout the evening.

Unified Tag Team Championship: ShoMiz vs. John Morrison/R-Truth
You could tell from the opening bell that this was going to be short, as they wasted no time hitting their key spots and signature moves. The match only went a little over 3 minutes, so while obviously robbed for time, it was an enjoyable 3 minutes. I'm mainly glad that the tag titles weren't kicked down to dark match status. *1/2.

Randy Orton vs. Ted Dibiase vs. Cody Rhodes
I think I liked this more than most people, as the general perception is that Rhodes and Dibiase came off as the two biggest jobbers who ever jobbed before. They held their own up until Orton took advantage of their dissension and punted Rhodes in the head and RKO'd Dibiase for victory. The more troubling aspect here is how after two solid years of being pushed heavily that the crowd didn't care one bit for either Legacy member. **1/2.

Money in the Bank
Generally brutal and exciting, as usual, just missing the one or two really big !!! spots. The highlight was easily Evan Bourne's Shooting Star Press off a ladder. Sadly, Kofi Kingston botches a run up a ladder for a corner attack. I have to admit, that I did not see the Jack Swagger victory coming, nor did I see him cashing it in less than a week later. I enjoyed this and I liked seeing most of the guys in the match get a spot at Wrestlemania (though again, it's kind of sad just how not over Drew McIntyre is despite months of an aggressive push).

Triple H vs. Sheamus
A lot of folks out there are claiming that Triple H's victory here means that Sheamus is finished. That really isn't the case, as this was a competitive 12 minute match and the feud doesn't seem to be over. There is a big difference between HHH nailing the pedigree on Booker T and waiting an eternity to pin him and Sheamus eating the pedigree and getting pinned immediately after. This was about what I expected, **1/2.

CM Punk vs. Rey Mysterio
Like the opening match, I could sense this was going to be quick just by how they were pacing themselves from the opening bell. They packed a lot of action into the 6-7 minutes they got. They even squeazed in a good story, with Punk outsmarting Mysterio most steps of the way, including numerous blocks/reversals of the 619. Ultimately, Rey got the win, so all the kids in the stadium got a feel-good moment. It doesn't appear this feud is over either. **1/2.

Bret Hart vs. Vince McMahon
This was a mess. It went about 11 minutes, which was about 10 minutes too long. Normally these Vince at 'Mania matches are entertaining train wrecks, but it was like they didn't even try, especially with Vince carting out the entire Hart family and Hart Dynasty from the very beginning, claiming he had paid them off to betray Bret. Even Stevie Wonder could see the coming swerve, as it turns out they took Vince's money and decided to screw him. Bret awkwardly beat down Vince while the crowd waited patiently for the sharpshooter. No rating, but this was bad.

World Heavyweight Championship: Chris Jericho vs. Edge
I really enjoyed this one and got sucked in by it. I was so happy when Jericho won, that it feels a bit more frustrating that he reign would end two days later at the Smackdown tapings. It was also surprising that Jericho got a semi-clean victory, as Edge had foiled his cheating attempts up until the Codebreaker finished things after about 16 minutes. I thought for sure that this was just going to be false finish, so when the referee counted 3 it got quite the surprised reaction from me. I have a feeling that repeated viewings will cause my heart to grow fonder of this bout, but for now I'd peg it at ***1/2.

Divas Tag
This worked a lot better than last year's disasterous battle royal, but still was not a good match by any stretch of the imagination. It was basically each diva hitting the one good move they each know until Vickie attempted a frog splash and won the match. Seriously, Vickie's splash is bound to go down in history as one of the all-time great bad moments in wrestling. *

WWE Championship: Batista vs. John Cena
Maybe it was the HD, but I found this to be largely sloppy and something of a mess up until things got hot down the final stretch. They packed in a lot of reversals and counters that might have been awesome if not for the fact they were so badly executed. Despite all that, I was pretty into the match, and the finish was satisfying. Repeat viewings might help this one as well, ***.

Shawn Michaels vs. Undertaker
My sense as the bell rang here was that this match would make or break this show. The stipulations here added a lot, as I couldn't really imagine either man winning because what it would mean for the other. I enjoyed watching this more than I have any other live match in years. The final stretch, where Undertaker helped Shawn up, only to get slapped, and responding with a jumping tombstone piledriver was a fantastic moment and a fitting way for Shawn Michaels to call it a career. I liked this more than last year's Shawn/Taker match, ****3/4.

Retro Rowe: WWE Elimination Chamber 2010

WWE Elimination Chamber

February 21, 2010

by Samoa Rowe

-From St. Louis, MO. Our hosts are Matt Striker, Michael Cole, and Jerry Lawler.

WWE Championship (Elimination Chamber):
Sheamus © vs. John Cena vs. Ted Dibiase vs. Randy Orton vs. Triple H vs. Kofi Kingston

Kingston checks his back during his entrance, a clever nod to him getting ambushed at last year’s event. Sheamus poses with the WWE title in front of each pod, which is pretty awesome. Sheamus and Kingston start the match and have a nice back and forth exchange. Kofi blocks a hip toss onto the steel and lands a high cross body. Sheamus takes control after hitting some back attacks. 5 minutes have passed and Triple H is let out of his pod. Triple H and Sheamus have a heated confrontation and a slugfest breaks out. HHH, the seasoned veteran, takes control. Triple H blocks the Celtic Cross and nails a DDT for 2. Kingston rejoins the fight with a cross body on Sheamus. Kofi unleashes Controlled Frenzy and the Boom Drop on Triple H on the steel. Sheamus gains control of Kofi. With 10 minutes gone, Randy Orton charges out of his pod and he cleans house on everyone. Orton repeatedly smashes Sheamus and then Triple H into the chain wall. Kingston wipes everyone out with a cross body over the ropes. Orton counters Kofi with a drop-kick. HHH squares off with Orton and eats a scoop slam. A flurry of near finishers breaks out. With over 15 minutes gone, Ted Dibiase joins the match. Dibiase considers whether or not to attack his mentor, Orton. Dibiase decides to help Orton back up and they start working together. Legacy forces Kofi’s head through the chain wall for a vicious attack. Legacy turns their attention to Triple H. Dibiase suggests that Orton deliver the spike DDT onto the steel and it connects! Dibiase and Orton stand outside Cena’s pod as it opens at the 21 minute mark. Cena fights his way out of the chamber and cleans house on Legacy. Cena drops Dibiase onto the steel with an Attitude Adjustment! Orton saves Dibiase from the STF and signals the RKO. Cody Rhodes runs in and slips a lead pipe to Dibiase. Typically, Dibiase accidentally clocks Orton with the pipe, before dropping Cena. Dibiase eliminates Orton at 23:55! Orton realizes what’s happened and gives Dibiase the “I’ll deal with you later” look before leaving. Sadly, Kingston plants Dibiase for an elimination at 25:25. Sheamus drops Kofi with a Brogue Kick. The Celtic Cross finishes Kofi at 26:06. Sheamus turns his attention to Cena and nails a backbreaker. Sheamus punishes Cena in a tree of woe. Triple H saves Cena from the Celtic Cross with a low blow. The Pedigree finishes Sheamus at 28:30! The WWE Champion has been eliminated! We’re down to Cena and Triple H. Cena locks on the STF and Triple H taps at 30:16. This was pretty tame by EC standards, but it told several stories and nicely set up a bunch of Wrestlemania matches, ***¾.
Winner and new WWE Champion: John Cena

Retro Rowe: WWE Royal Rumble 2010

WWE Royal Rumble

January 31, 2010

by Samoa Rowe

-From Atlanta, GA. Our hosts are Michael Cole, Matt Striker, and Jerry Lawler.

-Savannah is our official ECW ring announcer! I’m surprised TNA hasn’t hired her yet and then acted surprised when their fans didn’t recognize her.

ECW Championship:
Christian © vs. Ezekiel Jackson (with William Regal)

This would prove to be the final ECW title match ever on pay-per-view, as the brand was soon scrapped in favor of NXT. Jackson has a clear size advantage and forces Christian to get creative. Jackson gets flustered but manages to hit a short arm clothesline to take control. Christian counters a press slam and delivers some attacks to the head. Jackson knocks Christian off the turnbuckles to regain his momentum. Regal gets kicked out of the arena for coming too close to Christian at ringside. Jackson dead lifts Christian off them at for a choke slam and continues an extended beating. Jackson’s superplex to blocked and Christian nails a flying uppercut. Christian makes his comeback with quick attacks. Christian’s diving head butt misses and he eats a clothesline for 2. Christian absorbs a backbreaker and delivers a tornado DDT! They trade counters until Christian delivers the Killswitch to retain at 11:57! This was a surprisingly game opener, **¾.
Winner and still ECW Champion: Christian

Retro Rowe: WWE TLC 2009 Review

WWE Tables, Ladders, and Chairs
December 13, 2009by Samoa Rowe
-From San Antonio, TX. Our hosts are Michael Cole, Jerry Lawler, and Matt Striker.

ECW Championship (Ladder match):
Christian (c) vs. Shelton Benjamin

They have a basic back and forth match in the early going. They battle for control of a ladder at ringside. Christian nails a top rope dive to earn control of the ladder. Christian climbs but Benjamin cuts him off. Benjamin (almost) lands on his feet on a sunset flip and sprints up but ends up getting tossed to ringside. Christian lifts the ladder but gets tripped up and gets smashed in the forehead. Benjamin stalls for time while a medic attends to Christian's open wound. For some reason they battle on a ringside ladder and Benjamin hits a scary somersault senton to the floor. Shelton props a ladder up on the announce table and apron and they fight around it. They trade ladder attacks in the ring. Christian gets knocked off the ladder and eats a spinning heel kick. Benjamin climbs but Christian nails an inverted DDT. Christian tries to ram Shelton off the turnbuckles with the ladder, but Shelton counters and leans the ladder into a winning position! Christian tips it, but Shelton lands on the turnbuckles gracefully! Shelton leans the ladder on purpose to come crashing down on Christian! That exchange was awesome! The fight continues with Benjamin power slamming Christian off the ladder. Shelton grabs the belt but gets the ladder pulled out from under him. Shelton is hanging for a while before Christian climbs up and knocks him off. Benjamin returns the favor, leaving Christian hanging. Christian falls into a power bomb into a ladder! Christian counters a sunset flip power bomb! Shelton attempts a German suplex onto the propped ladder, but it's blocked. Christian frog splashes Shelton on the ladder! Benjamin is dead so Christian easily climbs and grabs his title at 18:02! This started out as a basic ladder match, but then they started taking risks that really paid off, ***¼.
Winner and still ECW Champion: Christian

Retro Rowe: WWE Survivor Series 2009 Review

WWF Survivor Series 2009
by SamoRoweNovember 22, 2009

-From Washington D.C.

-Our hosts are Michael Cole, Jerry Lawler, and Matt Striker. This particular Survivor Series did a terrible buyrate and almost prompted Vince to scrap Survivor Series as a concept. The show took place the night after a big Brock Lesnar fight on a UFC pay-per-view and that seriously hurt the numbers. It wasn’t until Wrestlemania 26 did a disappointing buyrate the night after another UFC show that Survivor Series was added back to the 2010 pay-per-view schedule.

Traditional Survivor Series match:
U.S. Champion The Miz, Dolph Ziggler, Jack Swagger, Drew McIntyre, and Sheamus vs. Evan Bourne, Finlay, Matt Hardy, Shelton Benjamin, and IC Champion John Morrison

A new era is upon us, as Sheamus is making his pay-per-view debut! Most of the heel midcarders in this match are still stuck in the midcard three years later. Swagger and Bourne go toe to toe in the early going. Bourne is at risk at being isolated and has to overcome an eager Ziggler. Bourne counters Swagger with a knee drop but gets caught in a Ziggler crab. Bourne leaps into a hurricanrana for a near fall. Hardy gets a hot tag and delivers a double elbow with Bourne. Hardy’s side effect and Bourne’s SSP finishes Ziggler at 3:55. McIntyre storms in and delivers an underhook DDT to eliminate Bourne at 4:10. Finlay charges in and soon finds himself face to face with his fellow Irishman, Sheamus. A Miz distraction allows Sheamus to nail a Brogue Kick to eliminate Finlay at 5:10. Hardy rushes in but eats a Sheamus power bomb. The heels isolate Hardy and beat him up for a while. Morrison finally gets a hot tag and overwhelms Swagger. Morrison dodges a Swagger Bomb but Miz prevents Starship Pain. Springboard kick by Morrison, but McIntyre prevents a cover. The good guys clear the ring and the ref takes a bump in the chaos. Morrison outmaneuvers Swagger and finally puts him away with Starship Pain at 12:04. Miz blindsides his former partner and takes control. Benjamin gets a needed tag and nearly pins Miz with a roll-up. Benjamin springboards off the turnbuckles with a cross body. Benjamin nearly puts Miz away with some suplexes. Sheamus assists, allowing Miz to hit the Skull Crushing Finale to eliminate Shelton at 14:55. Hardy rushes in but soon has to fight out of the heel corner. Hardy has an uphill battle against McIntyre but delivers his patented leg drop for 2. Again, Sheamus distracts, causing Hardy to miss a moonsault. McIntyre’s DDT finishes Hardy at 17:05. Morrison is alone against Sheamus, McIntyre, and Miz! Morrison takes quite a beating as the heels keep making tags. Morrison gets a hope spot in against Miz, but Sheamus storms in. Morrison fights heroically, but he springboards into a thrust kick. The Celtic Cross finishes it at 20:49! The outcome signaled big pushes for the survivors. This was solid, yet unspectacular, ***.
Survivors: Sheamus, The Miz, and Drew McIntyre

Retro Rowe: WWE Bragging Rights 2009 Review

WWE Bragging Rights

October 25, 2009by Samoa Rowe

-From Pittsburgh, PA. Our hosts are Michael Cole, Todd Grisham, and Jerry Lawler.

-The theme for tonight is “Raw vs. Smackdown.” The brand split was on it’s last legs as even by this time Raw and Smackdown guys would show up on the other show on a fairly regular basis.

United States Champion The Miz vs. Intercontinental Champion John Morrison

Hey, these two used to be a successful tag team! And they both hold secondary titles! I know why they’re fighting! I’m just impressed it’s on pay-per-view and not in an unadvertised 3-minute match on Raw.
Morrison shines in an early mat-based exchange. Miz fights back but Morrison shows off with a standing shooting star press. Miz tosses Morison, but spends too much time gloating. Miz stumbles out of a pinning predicament, they sloppily counter each other, and Miz gets dumped to the floor. Miz counters and sends Morrison crashing to the floor. Miz takes control and targets the back. Morrison takes a beating but finds his second wind. Morrison goes for the pinfall but Miz gets a foot on the ropes. Miz rolls out to avoid Starship Pain but eats a corkscrew plancha to the floor. Miz rebounds with a double axe handle off the top. Morrison counters the Skull Crushing Finale but Starship Pain is countered as well. Miz quickly makes the cover for the win at 10:52! This was a lively opener, just a bit sloppy at times, **½.
Winner: The Miz

Retro Rowe: WWE Hell in a Cell 2009 Review

WWE Hell in a Cell

October 4, 2009 by Samoa Rowe

-Those of you who are long-time DWB readers (or just Erick and Scrooge) might remember that in 2008-2009 I was trying to keep up with all the WWE pay-per-views as they aired or came out on DVD. Well, in the fall of 2009, I just couldn’t take it anymore. There were too many shows, with too many repetitive matches, and the October double shot of Hell in a Cell and Bragging Rights just ensured that I was tapping out. Now, three years later, I’m finding that I miss doing this, and enough time has passed that some of these shows might seem interesting in retrospect. Here goes nothing.

From Newark, NJ. Our hosts are Michael Cole and Jerry Lawler for Raw, Jim Ross and Todd Grisham for Smackdown, and

World Heavyweight Championship (Hell in a Cell match):
CM Punk © vs. The Undertaker

It was still somewhat eyebrow raising for a World title match to open a pay-per-view at this point. In the coming years, it would become routine. Punk was doing a nice job getting over as the obnoxious straight-edge champion, so naturally they needed to drag Undertaker out of semiretirement to do something about it. Undertaker makes it clear from the opening bell that under no circumstance should we perceive CM Punk to be in his league. Punk scores with the ring steps and goes to work on the knee. Punk delivers a suicide dive, pushing the Dead Man into the cell wall. Only six minutes into the match, they start ramping up for what seems to be the finishing sequence. Undertaker surprises with the Last Ride but Punk kicks out! At least, Punk is going to retain a shred of dignity. Punk counters Old School for 2. The near falls are forced, but are starting to get over. Undertaker counters a chair shot and finishes Punk with the choke slam/Tombstone sequence at 10:22. This felt like a house show main event that happened to take place inside Hell in a Cell, **.
Winner and new World Heavyweight Champion: The Undertaker

Retro Rowe: WWE Breaking Point 2009 Review

WWE Breaking Point - September 13, 2009
by SamoaRowe

-From Montreal, Quebec. You know what that means right? Screwy finishes, and no Hart Dynasty in action, that’s what! I’m also banking on some bizarro world crowd reactions, let’s just hope any haven’t been edited off the DVD.

-Our hosts are Michael Cole, Jerry Lawler, Jim Ross, Todd Grisham, Matt Striker, and Josh Matthews. The pay-per-view has a submission theme for the main events.

Unified Tag Team Championship:
Chris Jericho and Big Show © vs. Mark Henry and MVP
Jericho is surprisingly cowardly and hapless against MVP. Jericho vents with some slapping, but MVP almost puts him away with a neckbreaker. Henry tags, but Jericho quickly puts Big Show in the match. “Let’s go, Big Show” chant from the audience as the giants lumber around. Henry goes for a Bodyslam, but Jericho interferes. Show gains the advantage, with Jericho getting some cheap shots in along the way. Henry is briefly isolated before clothes lining Show and making a lukewarm tag to MVP, who cleans house. Jericho kicks out of the ballin’ elbow drop but the Walls are countered. Big Show gets a blind tag and spears the life out of MVP. Jericho wears down MVP for a few minutes, but a desperate DDT by MVP allows a hot tag to Henry. The crowd wakes up as Henry gets some convincing near falls in. Big Show clocks Henry with the knockout blow from the apron, allowing Jericho to make the pin at 12:11. Not bad, just not very good either, **.
Winners and still Unified Tag Team Champions: Chris Jericho and Big Show

Retro Rowe: The 25th Anniversary of Wrestlemania (Don't call it "Wrestlemania 25") Review

WWE WrestleMania 25
by SamoaRowe

April 5th 2009

-Written on April 6th 2009

-From Houston, Texas. Our hosts are Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler, and Michael Cole.

Money in the Bank Ladder match:
CM Punk vs. Finlay (with Hornswoggle) vs. Christian vs. Shelton Benjamin vs. Kane vs. Mark Henry (with Tony Atlas) vs. Kofi Kingston vs. MVP
Match kicks off with a giant brawl in the ring. Kane and Henry clear the ring and continue brawling. Shelton and Christian bring in a ladder and wipe out the big guys. Kingston drop-kicks the ladder into Christian and Shelton, with it landing on the makeshift team. Kofi drives the ladder onto the veterans. Finlay returns but walks into a boot from Kane, who then races to the top with Henry. MVP and Punk return to make the save. Everyone teams up to dump Kane and Henry to ringside before racing to the top again. Kane and Henry return and knock both ladders over, sending four guys crashing. Kane tosses one ladder and climbs another, but Henry pushes him off. Henry tosses a ladder, but Finlay dodges, then kicking Henry to the floor. Suicide dive by Finlay onto Kane! Christian, MVP, Kingston, and Punk all take turns diving onto their opponents. Shelton climbs a ladder at ringside and dives off onto the others! Spectacular! Even Henry attempts a dive, but Finlay cuts him off. Hornswoggle brings in a mini ladder, uses it to climb onto Henry and hit a tadpole splash off of him to the floor. Fun stuff. Finlay and Kofi fight over a ladder, with Kofi using the ladder to propel himself around. Finlay uses the step ladder to slaughter his opponents. Henry pushes Kofi off the ladder. Henry tries to set up the ladder, but Kofi sprints up and almost gets the case before getting dropped off in sickening fashion. World’s Strongest Slam onto the ladder! MVP attacks Henry but Shelton stops him from climbing. Benjamin dives off a propped ladder, but MVP powerbombs him in midair! Christian pulls MVP off the ladder, but CM Punk almost has the case. Christian gets caught in a GTS position on the ladder but reverses into an Unprettier! MVP tries to climb again, but Shelton climbs up three ladders from the floor to cut him off. Shelton attempts a sunset flip Powerbomb but they mess it up. Shelton powerbombs MVP onto others on the floor. Finlay and Shelton race to the top, but Finlay is knocked off and bounces off the propped ladder on the way down. Shelton sets up a second ladder and races with Christian. The ladder falls over with Shelton hitting the floor, but Christian pushes off the ropes to go back to climbing! CM Punk stops him from the case (to big boos). Punk is caught on the steps, but Kane slams Christian off! Punk grabs the case, but Kane grabs his throat. Punk kicks Kane to the mat and takes the case at 14:24! CM Punk is the repeat winner! Tons of fun, as always, though a couple of botches hurt this a tad, ***¾.
Winner: CM Punk

Retro Rowe: WWE No Way Out 2009 Review

WWE No Way Out - February 15, 2009
by SamoaRowe

-They are airing from Seattle, Washington. Our hosts for the evening are Jim Ross and Tazz for Smackdown, Jerry Lawler and Michael Cole for Raw, and Matt Striker and Todd Grisham for ECW.

WWE Championship Elimination Chamber match:
Edge © vs. The Undertaker vs. Vladimir Kozlov vs. Triple H vs. Jeff Hardy vs. Big Show
Jeff Hardy and Edge start the match in the ring. Hardy dominates in the early going before running into a big boot. Edge tries to put Hardy away quickly. Jeff fights back with his educated feet. Edge blocks the Twist of Fate but Jeff tries again and hits it! Hardy goes high risk, missing a swanton bomb. Hardy counters the spear with an inside cradle and pins Edge around the 3 minute mark! Edge is outraged and the crowd is genuinely pleased. Kozlov is let out of his cell and puts Hardy down with a boot. Hardy kicks Kozlov off but flies into a head butt. Kozlov shoves Jeff into the chamber wall. Kozlov drives Jeff into the chains again before hitting a fall away slam into the ring. Kozlov pounds Hardy on the turnbuckle before hitting another fall away slam for a near fall. Backbreaker gets 2 for Kozlov. Cue the waist lock. Hardy counters, drop-kicking Kozlov into the corner and gets a near fall himself. Whisper in the Wind by Hardy leaves both men down as Big Show joins the match. Show goes right to work on Jeff, with Kozlov joining in on the fun. The two on one beat down continues for a while until Kozlov charges into Show. Show and Kozlov trade shots and block each other’s suplex attempts. Show drops Kozlov as Triple H enters the match. HHH goes right after Big Show, nailing a face buster. Knee lift by Triple H drops Kozlov. Spinebuster on Big Show by Triple H! HHH blocks a Twist of Fate and knocks down Jeff. HHH low bridges Kozlov onto the steel platform. Show saves Kozlov from a Pedigree on the steel. Side slam on Triple H by Show gets a near fall. HHH and Show brawl while Kozlov beats down Hardy. Show catches Hardy and uses him to ram Triple H into the cage. HHH and Hardy take down Show and nail a double suplex on Kozlov. Whisper in the Wind on Triple H leaves them both down as The Undertaker’s cell opens!

Business picks up as The Undertaker immediately targets Big Show and Kozlov. Undertaker cleans house on everyone, but Show saves Hardy and Triple H from a double chokeslam. Taker knocks down Show and goes old school on Triple H, but it’s interrupted by Big Show, who eats a DDT on the steel for his trouble. Taker tries again and hits old school on HHH. Kozlov pummels Taker into the corner until Taker counters with the Last Ride, eliminating Kozlov at 23:01! Chokeslam on Undertaker by Big Show! Show blocks a pedigree, sending HHH crashing onto the steel. Show press slams Hardy onto HHH on the steel. Hardy is tossed into the wall but hangs on to climb onto a pod. Show trips Jeff on the pod and climbs up for an attack. Undertaker climbs up as well and superplexes Show to the mat! Pedigree on Big Show, but Triple H is too tired to capitalize. Hardy swanton bombs Show from off the pod! HHH covers Show to eliminate him at 26:13! Hardy misses Whisper on the Wind, leaving Triple H to duke it out with Undertaker. Taker is crotched on the ropes by HHH while attempting old school on Jeff. Hardy uses Taker for Poetry in Motion on HHH into the steel. Jeff walks into a Tombstone piledriver from Taker and is eliminated at 28:38. It’s down to Triple H and Undertaker, with Taker picking up control after a big boot. Taker misses a running big boot. HHH flies into a chokeslam, earning Undertaker a very close near fall. Snake eyes by Undertaker, but Triple H rebounds with a Spinebuster for 2! Taker blocks a pedigree on the steel with a catapult into the cage. Taker tumbles into a Tombstone position and nails the piledriver, but Triple H gets a rope break! Pedigree by Triple H gets 2.9! They stumble to their feet for a slug fest. HHH escapes a Last Ride and nails the Pedigree for the win and the title at 35:58! It’s difficult to be annoyed with another Triple H title run when the match was this good, a true epic, ****.
Winner and new WWE Champion: Triple H

Retro Rowe: Summerslam 2008 Review

-Originally written in August 2008. 

-Welcome to the "Biggest Blockbuster of the Summer!" Tonight, Cena and Batista battle for the first time, Triple H faces his biggest challenger yet, CM Punk sets out to prove himself against his biggest naysayer, and Edge and Undertaker bring their rivalry into the infamous Hell in a Cell.

-Our hosts for the evening are Jim Ross and Tazz for Smackdown, Michael Cole and Jerry Lawler for Raw, and Matt Striker and Todd Grisham for ECW.

Montel Vontavious Porter vs. Jeff Hardy
MVP attempts a big boot right out of the gate, but Hardy is ready for him. Hardy lures MVP to ringside and batters him around. Cover by Hardy gets 1. Scoop slam by Hardy and an over the ropes leg drop. Hardy works the arm. MVP gets the rope break and the match restarts. They exchange kicks, with Hardy getting the upper hand. Hardy runs into an overhead belly to belly suplex from MVP, earning a cover for 2. MVP works the head and arm. MVP transitions into a camel clutch. Hardy counters with a monkey flip, but MVP wraps himself around the leg for a hold. Hardy gets a rope break, so MVP kicks him around a bit. Hardy tries to use the ropes for a catapult, but MVP catches him in process and continues to dish out a pounding. MVP places Hardy in the tree of woe, and MVP snaps his head to the mat. Cover by MVP gets 2. Hardy escapes a power bomb and counters with a Neckbreaker. Hardy mule kicks MVP into the corner, but MVP blocks the corner drop-kick. Cover by MVP gets 2.5. MVP drop-kicks Hardy to the corner but Hardy counters the big boot with a clothesline. Side Russian legsweep by Hardy and a pinning combination for 2. MVP counters the corner drop-kick again, but Hardy counters into a sunset flip. Whisper in the Wind by Hardy, who goes high risk. Shelton Benjamin runs in, so Hardy dives onto him on the floor. Hardy goes for the Swanton bomb on MVP, but misses. MVP hits the drive-by kick to the head and picks up the win at 10:10. This was a good way to open the show, ***.
Winner: MVP

WWE Wrestlemania 32 Review

WWE Wrestlemania Star (32)

April 3rd 2016

-From Dallas, TX. Mauro Ranallo and Jerry Lawler hosted the pre-show, while Michael Cole, JBL, and Byron Saxton hosted the main card.

Intercontinental Championship (Ladder Match):

Kevin Owens (c) vs. Sami Zayn vs. Dolph Ziggler vs. Sin Cara vs. Stardust vs. The Miz vs. Zack Ryder

As per usual, it's hard to screw up multi-man stunt shows in the opening slot, and this one delivered some cool moments. It's still surreal to see Owens and Zayn rekindle their feud in the WWE, especially now in a main roster, Wrestlemania setting, though they weren't really the focus. A lot of time was spent on the riff-raff, as Stardust, Ryder, and Sin Cara should all be thanking whatever deity they worship for being included. I marveled when Ryder nailed a flying elbow off the top of a ladder, as it seemed amusing that a jobber would get the chance to outshine similar spots from 'Mania's ladder match past. Stardust got a nice moment when he fetched a black and yellow polka dot ladder from under the ring in a novel tribute to his late father. Sin Cara shined too, getting tipped off a ladder into a springboard onto the masses at ringside. It came down to Sami Zayn suplexing Owens onto a resting ladder in a scary spot that might have legitimately knocked Owens unconscious. It seemed like there was a bit of a "Oh crap, what do we do now?" scramble, before Zack Ryder knocked Miz off to retrieve the title at 15:23. Ryder's emotional post-match celebration, coming to tears while his father joined him, felt really improvised and I wouldn't be surprised if word comes out that an audible was called. Either way, the treatment of Zack Ryder over the past four years has been a constant irritant to me, so I was glad to see him look awesome in this match AND emerge as champion, random as it might be. Good spot-fest that set the right tone for an iffy card, ***3/4.

Winner and new Intercontinental Champion: Zack Ryder

Retro Rowe: WWE One Night Stand 2008 Review

WWE One Night Stand

June 1, 2008
by SamoaRowe

-Originally written pretty close to the live airing in 2008. 

-It’s the “One night a year the WWE goes extreme!” Every match has an “extreme” gimmick attached to it, as we’ll see Singapore cane, last man standing, first blood, stretcher, falls count anywhere, TLC, and “I quit” matches.

-From San Diego, California. Our hosts for the evening are Jim Ross and Jerry Lawler for Raw, Michael Cole and Mick Foley for Smackdown, and Mike Adamle and Tazz for ECW.

Falls Count Anywhere match:
Jeff Hardy vs. Umaga
I know, I know, this is something like the millionth match in their never-ending rivalry, but their matches tend to be quality, so I’ll let it go. Hardy starts off by running into Umaga’s elbow. Hard Irish whip by Umaga. Hardy quickly rebounds with Whisper in the Wind. Umaga catches Hardy (attempting a flying cross body) and slams him hard to the mat rather awesomely. Hardy ducks the rampaging Umaga, causing him to crash to the floor. Hardy whips himself onto Umaga on the floor and goes for the cover and gets 2. Umaga whips Hardy into the barricade. Umaga drops a chair Hardy and directs him towards the corner of the floor, nearing the stage. Umaga no-sells a shot from a giant traffic cone and kicks Hardy in the face. Hardy dodges a splash from Umaga, causing the big man to hit the some tech equipment. Hardy uses a fire extinguisher to chase Umaga to the backstage area. From here, the match turns into a 1999 hardcore match, as they brawl up the stairs. Hardy slides down a rail and wipes Umaga out. Cover on the stairs by Hardy gets 2. Umaga huffs and puffs his way up the stairs to chase Hardy and they continue brawling in the lobby and into the parking lot. The parking lot brawl ends up being really entertaining, with lots of use of the parked trucks. Hardy climbs up the side of a truck and kicks Umaga off. Hardy hit’s the swanton bomb off the truck and picks up the win at 9:18. This was silly fun, **.
Winner: Jeff Hardy

Retro Rowe: WWE Judgment Day 2008 Review

WWE Judgment Day  

May 18, 2008
by SamoaRowe

-Originally written in late 2008, after I'd purchased the event on DVD.

-From Omaha, Nebraska. Our hosts are Jim Ross and Jerry Lawler for Raw, Michael Cole and Mick Foley for Smackdown, and Mike Adamle and Tazz for ECW.

John Bradshaw Layfield vs. John Cena
These two put on a forgotten classic at this event three years ago, but I can’t remember these two ever having a good match otherwise. Slow start with some shoving. Headlock by Cena but JBL makes an uncharacteristically clean break in the corner. Side headlock by JBL. Cena attempts the STFU, but JBL hides in the ropes. JBL snaps Cena’s arm into the ropes and thrusts him into the ring post. JBL continues to work over Cena’s arm. Cena powers out of an armbar in impressive fashion, though he’s selling some major arm pain. JBL resorts to smashing and stomping. Cover by JBL gets 2. Cena fires back despite the pain, but misses a flying leg drop. Cena tries to suplex JBL over the ropes, but JBL counters and drops him on the ropes. JBL knocks Cena off the apron into the barricade. JBL remains in control with his methodical pounding. Bear hug by JBL, because this match wasn’t exciting enough. JBL transitions into a body scissors, also extending the targeted arm. Cena powers to his feet, but gets caught in a full nelson. Cena breaks out and attempts an F-U, but his body gives out. JBL goes back to the body scissors and I’m officially bored. Cena counters with a slam, which required all his strength. They exchange shots but Cena misses a head of steam. Big boot by JBL and some elbow drops to the back. Short-arm clothesline by JBL, who then just stares at his fallen opponent. Cena ducks another clothesline and connects with the F-U for the sudden victory at 15:04. Well, that’s just an obnoxious finish. Far too long for what was accomplished, not to mention a poor opener, *½.
Winner: John Cena

Retro Rowe: WWE Backlash 2008 Review

WWE Backlash  

April 27, 2008
by SamoaRowe

-Originally written back in 2008, when I was much worse about thinking I had to mention every little move in my PBP's. 

-From Baltimore, Maryland. Our hosts for the evening are Jerry Lawler and Jim Ross for Raw, Mike Adamle and The Tazz for ECW, and Michael Cole and Mick Foley for Smackdown!

United States Championship:
Montel Vontavious Porter © vs. Matt Hardy
MVP has held on to the U.S. title for eleven months, winning the title in a 2/3 falls match last year at Judgment Day against Chris Benoit. Hardy has been chasing MVP for the belt for over five months, with injuries and other circumstances getting in the way. MVP targets the previously injured knee of Matt Hardy in the early going, but Hardy dodges. Some ground and pound work by MVP until Hardy fires away. MVP flees to ringside to regroup, but Hardy directs him back to the ring. Hip toss by Hardy gets him a cover attempt. Elbow drop by Hardy for another cover. Side headlock takedown by Hardy. Elbow off the turnbuckles by Hardy gets yet another cover. Even Michael Cole admits that these covers are not designed to end the match, but wear down MVP. MVP rebounds with a suplex and plants Hardy on the top rope. MVP climbs, but Hardy knocks him off, but MVP blocks a moonsault! Snapmare by MVP and a knee drop for a cover. MVP stretches Hardy’s midsection. Knees to the gut by MVP, using the ropes for leverage. Hardy counters and gets a cover. Belly to belly suplex by MVP for a near fall, followed by a series of elbow drops (for yet another cover). MVP drops Hardy with a back press slam. Hardy hit’s a desperate clothesline, and both men are down. Corner clothesline and bull dog by Hardy gets a 2 count. MVP blocks a side effect and hangs him up on the ropes. Hardy blocks the playmaker and hit’s the side effect for a close 2 count. Hardy goes high risk, but MVP drop-kicks him. MVP climbs up, and gets a side effect off the top for good measure! Hardy is slow to gain the cover, so MVP kicks out. MVP blocks the twist of fate with a backslide, Hardy kicks out and goes for a school boy. MVP blocks the twist of fate again and punishes Hardy in the corner. MVP kicks Hardy in the head, sending him to ringside. Hardy is almost counted out, rolls back to the ring, only for another kick to the skull. MVP sizes Hardy up for the win, charges and misses a kick in the corner. Hardy hit’s the twist of fate and gets the pin fall victory at 11:29! MVP’s 11 month reign is over! The match was solid, but not as lively as some of their previous outings, **½.
Winner and new United States Champion: Matt Hardy

Really Retro Rowe: WWE Wrestlemania 24 Review

WWE WrestleMania 24
by SamoaRowe

-Originally written way back in 2008. 

-Disclaimer: this review is only going to cover the matches, as I’m watching this on MegaVideo.com.

-This is the biggest show of the year. Over 70,000 fans have filled up the Citrus Bowl in Orlando, Florida. Our hosts for the evening are Jim Ross and Jerry Lawler for Raw, Michael Cole and Jonathan Coachman for Smackdown, and Tazz and Joey Styles are sitting in for ECW related matches.

Belfast Brawl:
JBL vs. Finlay (with Hornswoggle)
Finlay is kicked off the apron before the match can officially begin. Finlay dumps JBL into the ring and aggressively pounds on the Texan. Finlay heads to ringside to retrieve the usual weapons. JBL catches a garbage can and bashes it over Finlay’s skull. JBL, wielding a can lid in one hand and a cookie sheet in the other, nails Finlay with both. JBL fetches the steel steps from ringside and tosses it into the ring. JBL sets up Finlay for a piledriver on the steps, but Finlay back body drops him to the mat. Kick to the head by Finlay and a nasty shot with the cookie sheet. Cover by Finlay gets 2. JBL recovers and pummels Finlay to the corner. Hornswoggle grabs a kendo stick and helps Finlay knock out JBL with the shillelagh at ringside. Back in the ring, Finlay kicks a trash can into JBL’s face. Finlay sets up a table in the corner. JBL reverses an Irish whip into the table, but Finlay hit’s a clothesline. JBL runs to ringside to escape Finlay and the steel steps. Hornswoggle attacks JBL, but gets kicked off. Finlay repeatedly knocks Hornswoggle’s head into the announce table. Suicide dive by Finlay to the floor, but JBL cracks a can lid into his head in mid-air! DAMN! Cover by JBL gets 2. JBL randomly grabs a trash can and whips it at Hornswoggle at ringside! That was so mean it was awesome! JBL goes for the clothesline from hell, but runs into a weapon shot. Finlay angrily destroys JBL with a weapon. Finlay sends JBL crashing into the table, but can only get 2 with a cover. Finlay holds the steps over his head, but JBL hit’s a kendo stick to the knees, causing Finlay to land face first on the steps. Clothesline from hell by JBL is enough to put Finlay away at. Hornswoggle is disappointed, as is the crowd. This was a fun, yet short, weapons brawl, though I’d dare say the wrong man went over. **¾.
Winner @ 9:07: JBL