WWE Extreme Rules - April 25, 2010
by SamoaRowe

-This year’s Wrestlemania backlash will be extreme! Fasten your seatbelts.

-From Baltimore, MD.

-Triple H’s music plays but he’s nowhere to be seen. We discover that Sheamus has attacked him backstage and they are brawling. Referees pull Triple H off, giving Sheamus a chance to strike with a steel pipe.

-Unified Tag Team Champions Big Show and Miz come down to the ring. It turns out they are here to excite the crowd since the street fight got delayed. Miz brags about how fantastic they are and demands some competition. Theodore Long steps up to the plate and forces them into a tag team gauntlet match! The longer Miz talks, the more teams Long adds to the match. If Miz and Show lose, they’ll defend the belts against the winning team the next night on Raw.

Tag Team gauntlet match:
Miz and Show are up against John Morrison and R-Truth. Former partners Miz and Morrison miss a chance to show off how well they know each other. Miz gets double teamed and makes a tag. Show swats Truth down and isolates him. Morrison gets a lukewarm tag and attempts to clean house on Big Show. Morrison counters a choke slam with a modified triangle choke. Truth dispatches Miz to ringside, but Morrison is disqualified for holding onto the hold in the ropes at 3:15.

Mark Henry and MVP are the next team! MVP attempts a quick pin on Show. Miz tags and runs into a clothesline. Henry tags and overpowers an isolated Miz. MVP unloads his arsenal but can’t pick up a victory. Playmaker by Miz, but Show saves with a punch to the head. Miz pins MVP at 5:45.

The final team is the Hart Dynasty, accompanied by Natalya and Bret Hart! They immediately hit the Hart Attack on Miz for the win at 6:19. They celebrate with Bret to general crowd approval. This really didn’t do any favors for the participants, other than a feel good moment for the Harts at the end, *½.

Winners: Tyson Kidd and David Hart Smith

-Sheamus gets in Todd Grisham’s face for updating us on Triple H’s status. Sheamus calls Triple H a coward and storms off.

Rey Mysterio vs. CM Punk (with Luke Gallows and Serena)
If CM Punk loses, his head will be shaved. Punk takes control, clubbing away at Rey. Punk tosses Rey to ringside but eats a head scissors into the apron! They counter each other’s finishers and Punk nails a power slam. Punk wears Rey down with some submission holds. Rey rolls through a sunset flip and kicks the temple for 2. Punk begins targeting the back. Rey counters a Gory Special with an arm drag but can’t put Punk away. Rey sets up a moonsault, but Punk blocks and sets up GTS. Rey counters with a 619 attempt, but Serena distracts. The ref kicks out the SES for their constant interference. Punk protests and eats a standing moonsault. Seated senton by Rey, but a follow-up springboard move is countered with a drop-kick. Springboard clothesline by Punk gets 2. A series of counters leads to Rey getting a painfully close near fall on Punk. 619 by Rey! A masked figure slides a chair into the ring and lays Mysterio out at ringside. The GTS finishes Punk at 15:55. This had moments of greatness, but lacked a strong finishing sequence and a sense of urgency to move it to the next level, ***.
Winner: CM Punk

-Punk mocks Mysterio by sitting in the barber’s chair on stage, while Gallows pretends to cut it. Punk heels it up another notch by twirling his hair.

Strap match:
Shad Gaspard vs. JTG
JTG unloads his frustration but Shad trips with the strap. Shad goes for the corners, but JTG uses the strap as a whip. Shad dumps JTG to ringside, which also prevents him from reaching all the corners. JTG hangs Shad on the ropes and connects with a flying leg drop. Shad plants JTG and pulls him into the ring post. Shad hoists JTG on his back and begins touching the corners. JTG touches the corners too, setting up the obvious finish where JTG slams Shad and reaches the final turnbuckle for the win at 4:43. I really hope this isn’t the best Cryme Tyme can do as singles wrestlers, *.
Winner: JTG

-Todd Grisham announces that Triple H suffered a severe blow to the neck and is having nerve troubles. They are setting it up so that Sheamus will beat Triple H without being put over.

World Heavyweight Championship:
Jack Swagger © vs. Randy Orton
This is an extreme rules match. Swagger had been jobbing left and right since winning the title, so he really needed to look good here. It’s amateur wrestling vs. ruthless aggression in the early going. Swagger grabs a chair, but Orton kicks it away. Swagger sends Orton into the guardrail and suplexes him on the floor. Swagger looks unsure of himself, but retains control with a series of suplexes. Orton blocks a belt shot with some uppercuts, but Swagger suplexes his way back to control. Swagger goes for the Vader bomb, but Orton counters with a belt shot to the gut! Power slam by Orton, who is taking the upper hand. Swagger drops Orton to ringside and grabs a garbage can. Orton blocks and cracks the can over Swagger’s head! Orton ruthlessly bats Swagger around ringside and stomps him into the steps. Back to the ring, Orton hit’s the rope assisted DDT! Orton tries to hit an RKO onto a chair but Swagger counters! The gut-wrench power bomb finishes Orton at 13:57. Swagger was allowed to look very good against Orton and that finish was logical. I’ll save my complaints about how tame this was for an “extreme rules” match, ***.
Winner and still World Heavyweight Champion: Jack Swagger

-Afterwards, Swagger eats an RKO on the floor. As Orton is leaving, Sheamus makes his entrance, steel pipe in hand. Triple H storms out of the trainer’s room, insisting to go through with the match.

Street Fight:
Sheamus vs. Triple H
Triple H takes the Celtic Warrior down and sends him to ringside. Back to the ring, Triple H hits a spine buster, but his injury prevents a Pedigree. Sheamus takes charge with an axe handle blow, taking control in the process. I had forgotten this was a Street Fight until Michael Cole and Matt Striker brought it up again in their banter. The match has devolved into a boring wear-down festival by Sheamus. Neck-breaker on the floor by Sheamus. Triple H sends Sheamus into the ring post and hits a DDT. Sheamus rebounds with some power moves, but just can’t get the pinfall. Sheamus connects with a pipe shot. Triple H fights back, prompting Sheamus to grab a kendo stick. Drop toe hold into the steps by HHH. Sheamus eats a series of kendo stick shots, with the welts standing out on his albino body. Triple H is still too injured for the Pedigree and he takes a back drop on the ramp. Sheamus drags HHH to the ring and nails the thrust kick. A final pair of kicks is enough to put Triple H away at 15:46. This was tedious, meandering, and another case where it appears that Triple H thinks he’s having an epic match when it’s actually just boring, *½.
Winner: Sheamus

-Triple H is given the full stretcher treatment after suffering another thrust kick from Sheamus.

-Backstage, Edge is lacing up his boots when he’s interrupted by Josh Matthews. Edge vows to not let Chris Jericho escape the steel cage.

Women’s Championship:
Michelle McCool © (with Layla and Vickie Guerrero) vs. Beth Phoenix
This is an Extreme Makeover match, complete with a table full of make-up next to the ring. Michelle is aggressive, but Beth outmaneuvers her. Layla attacks with a broom, but Beth fights her off. McCool sprays hair spray into Beth’s eyes and slides an ironing board into the ring (all the while Striker and Cole are making bad puns involving the weapons). Michelle attacks with the board with more creativity than we saw in that previous Street Fight just now. Layla sends an iron, but the cord prevents an attack. Michelle drop-kicks the board into Beth. Phoenix returns the favor, but Vickie and Layla attack. Michelle shoots hair spray at her friends, allowing Beth pummel her into the make-up table. Michelle sells a plastic bucket like death but still kicks out. Beth attempts a superplex onto the ironing board, but Layla and Vickie swat her off with broomsticks. You know, some matches are just fun to write play-by-play for. The Glam Slam finishes it at 6:33. This was stupid, but more entertaining than the Street Fight, so huzzah, *¾.
Winner and new Women’s Champion: Michelle McCool

-Josh Matthews interviews Chris Jericho about his loss to a NXT rookie this past week. Jericho brushes off the loss, saying it doesn’t change any of his accomplishments. Jericho puts himself over as an honest man, who always does what he says he’s going to do, and tonight he wants to end Edge’s career.

Steel Cage match:
Edge vs. Chris Jericho
Jericho stalls too long, so Edge baseball slides him through the door. Edge gladly closes the door while Jericho immediately tries to escape. Edge hurts his shoulder against the cage, giving Jericho an opening to attack. Edge backdrops Jericho into the cage to even things out. Jericho applies the Walls from mid-air! Edge almost taps but ultimately counters out. For all the talk about how Edge’s recent face run was a failure, the live crowd has been really hot for him all match. Jericho has the match won with an escape, but chooses to come back to dish out more punishment. Chair shot misses and Jericho eats a spear but kicks out! A sudden Codebreaker gets 2. Edge stops Jericho from escaping but gets crotched on the ropes. Jericho is over the top, but Edge joins him to exchange punches. Springboard Codebreaker off the top rope! Edge gets fired up when Jericho tries to destroy his injured ankle again, prompting Jericho to flee. Edge ruthlessly taunts and attacks the ankle. The spear ends it at 19:55. This was a fairly average cage match, elevated by Jericho getting creative with his trademark spots. The additional displays of hatred also helped, ***½.
Winner: Edge

WWE Championship (Last Man Standing):
John Cena © vs. Batista
Batista gets frustrated early on and grabs a chair. They exchange power moves. Batista begins targeting the knee. Cena keeps getting up and manages to Irish whip Batista into the steps. Figure Four by Batista! Cena reverses but they’re both down. Cena’s knee magically heals and he unleashes his trademark offense. Batista grabs a turnbuckle wrench and nails Cena with it. Cena hits the Attitude Adjustment onto a chair. Cena goes high risk, but gets knocked off when Batista pushes the referee into the ropes. Batista rebounds with some spears. Batista, the heel, gets a face pop for bringing in a table. Batista blocks the STF by kicking Cena through the table! There’s a great LOL moment when a kid yells “I hate you, Batista!” Batista turns around and screams “I hate you too!” Cena gets tossed through the barricade. Batista clears the announce table, even throwing a monitor at Matt Striker, who had been yelling about how much he liked evil Batista. Cena reverses and puts Batista through the table with the Attitude Adjustment (off the steps)! I wish the match would end here (since they won’t top that spot) but Batista gets up at the 9 count. Back to the ring, Batista puts Cena through a table with a spine buster. Batista Bomb! Cena locks on the STF and Batista taps. Batista seemingly taps out, but gets up again. Cena then duck tapes Batista’s legs around the ring post. Batista fails to get up by the 10 count and Cena wins at 24:30. That finish has been widely panned across the net, but I kind of like it. This was a highly entertaining main event, but seriously, can someone please sit Cena down and tell him to sell his damn injures. Also, this match convinced me that Batista is an awesome heel and I’m actually sad to see him go, ***¾.
Winner and still WWE Champion: John Cena

-So all in all, nothing was must-see and there was a lot of crap. I’d recommend you all to avoid Extreme Rules 2010.

Thumbs down!