Retro Rowe: WWE TLC 2009 Review

WWE Tables, Ladders, and Chairs
December 13, 2009by Samoa Rowe
-From San Antonio, TX. Our hosts are Michael Cole, Jerry Lawler, and Matt Striker.

ECW Championship (Ladder match):
Christian (c) vs. Shelton Benjamin

They have a basic back and forth match in the early going. They battle for control of a ladder at ringside. Christian nails a top rope dive to earn control of the ladder. Christian climbs but Benjamin cuts him off. Benjamin (almost) lands on his feet on a sunset flip and sprints up but ends up getting tossed to ringside. Christian lifts the ladder but gets tripped up and gets smashed in the forehead. Benjamin stalls for time while a medic attends to Christian's open wound. For some reason they battle on a ringside ladder and Benjamin hits a scary somersault senton to the floor. Shelton props a ladder up on the announce table and apron and they fight around it. They trade ladder attacks in the ring. Christian gets knocked off the ladder and eats a spinning heel kick. Benjamin climbs but Christian nails an inverted DDT. Christian tries to ram Shelton off the turnbuckles with the ladder, but Shelton counters and leans the ladder into a winning position! Christian tips it, but Shelton lands on the turnbuckles gracefully! Shelton leans the ladder on purpose to come crashing down on Christian! That exchange was awesome! The fight continues with Benjamin power slamming Christian off the ladder. Shelton grabs the belt but gets the ladder pulled out from under him. Shelton is hanging for a while before Christian climbs up and knocks him off. Benjamin returns the favor, leaving Christian hanging. Christian falls into a power bomb into a ladder! Christian counters a sunset flip power bomb! Shelton attempts a German suplex onto the propped ladder, but it's blocked. Christian frog splashes Shelton on the ladder! Benjamin is dead so Christian easily climbs and grabs his title at 18:02! This started out as a basic ladder match, but then they started taking risks that really paid off, ***¼.
Winner and still ECW Champion: Christian

Intercontinental Championship:
John Morrison (c) vs. Drew McIntyre

Drew still has generic jobber entrance music, so it feels weird that he's going to win the title tonight. They trade some holds, with Drew coming out in charge. Morrison gets in a flurry of offense, complete with a springboard hurricanrana. McIntyre turns the momentum by tossing Morrison face-first into the ring post. Morrison takes an extended beating. Drew has mastered the art of mixing power moves with rest holds. Morrison signals his comeback with a tornado DDT counter. Missile drop-kick by Morrison only gets 2. Drew counters with a slingshot Alabama slam. Morrison drop-kicks Drew to ringside and connects with a kick off the apron. Morrison delivers Starship Pain, but McIntyre gets a foot on the ropes. Drew thumbs the eyes (the referee was removing Morrison's discarded belt) and nails the Scot Drop for the win at 10:16. This was WWE mid-card formula 101, but the final sequence was above average, **¼.
Winner and new Intercontinental Champion: Drew McIntyre

-Vince McMahon congratulates Drew McIntyre on his victory when he's interrupted by Josh Mathews. Vince instructs Josh to interview Drew, not him. Drew says he wasn't surprised by his win because it was inevitable. Sheamus strolls in and tells Drew he won't be the only newcomer to leave with gold.

Women's Championship:
Michelle McCool (c) (with Layla) vs. Mickie James

This is in the midst of Michelle's 'Piggie James' smear campaign against Mickie. James is aggressive and sends McCool fleeing to ringside. Michelle reluctantly returns and gets overpowered by Mickie. James delivers a pair of pinning predicaments. Michelle counters by battering Mickie into the turnbuckles. Michelle wears down Mickie for a few minutes. Mickie gets a nice pop for a comeback, but Michelle cuts it off with a backbreaker. Michelle continues to dominate until missing a kick and hitting the barricade. Layla distracts, but Mickie continues her comeback with a Thesz press. Layla pushes Mickie off the turnbuckles but Michelle accidentally kicks her off the apron. Quick roll-up by Mickie, but McCool's big boot finishes it at 7:28. This was WWE Divas wrestling at it's best, **¼.
Winner and still Women's Champion: Michelle McCool

WWE Championship (Tables match):
John Cena (c) vs. Sheamus

Sheamus got this title shot by winning a battle royal on Raw consisting of guys who had never been world champion. It's worth noting that this is Sheamus' second ever pay-per-view match and he'd only been on Raw for a couple of months. Cena unloads on Sheamus in the early going. Sheamus rebounds with a hard clothesline and suplex. Sheamus turns his back to get a table and Cena drives him into the announce table. They brawl around the ring and Cena sets Sheamus on a table for a leg drop. Sheamus rolls off and lures Cena into the ring for a beating. Cena saves himself from being dropped on a table and attempts an Attitude Adjustment. Sheamus escapes and works over Cena's back. Cena blocks the Celtic Cross and they brawl up the ramp. Cena nails a suplex onto the steel and tries to swing the table over his shoulder, but Sheamus dodges. Cue the crowd brawl! Cena sets a table up at ringside but walks right into a Brogue Kick. Sheamus props a table in the corner but Cena counters. Sheamus blocks the STF but Cena unleashes his bag of tricks. Sheamus finds time to remove the table before eating an Attitude Adjustment. Cena brings in the other table and sets up a top rope AA. Sheamus blocks so Cena attempts a superplex. Sheamus counters and sends Cena crashing through the table. Sheamus wins (!!!) at 16:18. This was a shocking result at the time. I'll give Sheamus credit, he wrestled as if he belonged in the main event and this was a fine brawl, ***.
Winner and new WWE Champion: Sheamus

-A dejected Cena leaves the arena to mostly boos. Embrace the hate!

World Heavyweight Championship (Chairs match):
The Undertaker (c) vs. Batista

This is the first time Undertaker has had to deal with the sleazy heel version of Batista, who quickly goes for a chair. Undertaker cuts him off and unloads a series of shots. Batista explodes with a clothesline but Undertaker tosses him to the floor. They brawl around the ring but neither man is able to connect with a chair shot right away. Undertaker takes control with his usual routine, including the leg drop on the apron. Batista counters Old School with a superplex. Undertaker counters with a back drop onto a chair. Batista comes back with a hard spinebuster for 2. The Dead Man nails a clothesline and delivers Old School. Taker nails Snake Eyes but Batista bounces back with a spear. Batista delivers a spinebuster onto a chair. Undertaker surprises with Hell's Gate! Batista gets the ropes and connects with a chair shot. Batista misses on a head of steam and collides with a propped chair! Taker plants Batista and gets a near fall. Choke slam by Undertaker gets a 2.9 count. Batista counters the Tombstone and delivers a low blow. Chair shot to the head by Batista earns him a pinfall at 12:43! Batista is celebrating his victory when Teddy Long shows up. Long orders a restart, due to Batista' low blow. A flustered Batista storms in and quickly eats a chair shot. The Tombstone Piledriver finishes it after about 30 seconds of action. This was a surprisingly good brawl, considering Undertaker's physical condition at the time, ***.
Winner and still World Heavyweight Champion: The Undertaker

-Kofi Kingston is approached by Ted Dibiase and Cody Rhodes. They have a message from Randy Orton, but Kofi says he won't be psyched out by Orton's 'sidekicks.' Dibiase suggests that Kofi isn't at Orton's level. Kingston is going to respond but has a change of heart' and storms right into Orton's locker room. Kofi calls Orton a coward to his face and says he doesn't deserve to have a title shot ever again. Kofi promises victory and heads out. Kofi was so good in this segment, it breaks my heart that this push didn't go anywhere.

Randy Orton vs. Kofi Kingston

The fact that his is going on after the world title matches is pretty interesting. Orton scores first with a headlock takedown, but Kofi reverses into a head scissors. They aren't wrestling like two guys who hate each other, which is disappointing. Orton becomes ruthless and stomps Kofi into the corner. Kofi runs into a power slam and Orton follows up with the always awesome chinlock. Kingston makes a comeback, flustering Orton with his quick offense. Orton dodges the boom drop and drop-kicks a flying Kofi in mid-air! Orton is firmly in the driver's seat and delivers an extended beat down. Kofi busts out the S.O.S. and gains a near fall. Kofi clotheslines Orton to ringside and delivers a suicide dive! Big flying cross body by Kingston gains yet another 2 count. Orton shakes off a clothesline and delivers a backbreaker. Kofi rebounds with a big drop-kick and the boom drop! Trouble in Paradise but Orton gets the ropes! Sadly, Orton delivers the spike DDT off the ropes. Kofi sort of blocks the death punt, but his shoulder took the kick. Orton smells blood and attacks the injured arm. Kingston attempts a surprise Trouble in Paradise, but the RKO finishes it at 13:10! The lack of crowd heat was disappointing, but this was a very good, if not by-the-numbers, main event style match, ***.
Winner: Randy Orton

-Batista has cornered Teddy Long in his office. Batista is blaming Long for his loss and is threatening him with a chair. Long cowers until Batista storms out.

Unified WWE Tag Team Championship (TLC match):
Chris Jericho and Big Show ' vs. Triple H and Shawn Michaels

It's not every day that the Tag Team Championship main events a pay-per-view. I think it's a shame it doesn't happen more often. The bell rings and Big Show and Triple H start trading blows while Jericho and Michaels rekindle their rivalry. Jericho tries to put HBK through a table but gets blocked. Jericho and HBK go toe to toe while Big Show and Triple H brawl out of sight. Jericho counters a flying elbow and assists Big Show on the stage. HBK wins a chair duel against Jericho, but Big Show knocks him down. Jerishow casually stroll to the ring to claim their belts but DX rush back to prevent it. The ladder comes into play as DX dismantles Jericho. Big Show stops DX from winning and Jerishow makes a comeback. HBK gets tossed, leaving Triple H is suffer a series of double team attacks involving the ladder. Triple H gets stuck in a tree of woe on the ladder, setting up Michaels getting Irish whipped right into him! HHH finds himself alone against Big Show and forges a comeback. Big Show gets suplexes into position for a Michaels flying elbow! A series of finishers leaves everyone down and out! Big Show absorbs a chair shot from Triple H and punches him out. DX tips the ladder over on Big Show, sending him into the ropes. The Pedigree eliminates Show for the time being. Michaels climbs but gets knocked off by Jericho! Y2J gets the titles but Triple H power bombs him off the ladder! Big Show returns to choke slam HHH. Jerishow traps DX in a ladder for some punishment. Show choke slams Michaels onto Triple H and they both go through a table leaning against the barricade. Big Show holds Jericho on his shoulders to try and win the match without a ladder. This leaves Jerishow vulnerable to a Sweet Chin Music that sends Jericho crashing onto a table at ringside (the table fails to break in a scary moment). Triple H holds half of a broken ladder in place for HBK to climb. Michaels removes the titles to win at 22:26. Damn good main event here and a great blow-off to the long running DX/Jerishow feud, ****.
Winners and new Unified WWE Tag Team Champions: Shawn Michaels and Triple H

Final Thoughts: This was a great show. There were a lot of matches that were better than they had any right of being. After three long years, I finally finished all of the 2009 pay-per-views and I'm glad I made the effort. Thumbs up!