Tuesday, June 26, 2007

Chris Benoit

Yesterday afternoon I was just checking the forums and my usual websites before sitting down to have dinner with my girlfriend, when I saw something that shocked me. "Chris Benoit and family found dead." At first, I didn't know what to make of this, especially after two weeks of "mourning" Mr. McMahon after his staged limousine explosion. But there it was, on WWE.com, that Chris Benoit and his family had been found dead. As more details became available, it was specified that by "family" they meant his wife, the former wrestling valet known as Woman, and their youngest son, who was seven years old. Benoit's other two sons were in Canada, and are alive. At first there were no details on what happened, just that police were investigating.

The first two theories that popped into my head were that the family died from carbon monoxide poisoning or someone busted into their house and murdered everyone. I didn't want to even think for a second that my favorite wrestler could have committed a murder/suicide. It simply could not have been that.But now there are reports everywhere, from legit news sources like the Atantla DA office and such, that they believe this was indeed a murder/suicide. They believe that Woman was killed on Saturday, the son was killed on Sunday, and Benoit took his own like on Monday. There is still no word on what the cause of death was, though I assume it would have been shooting. I don't even know how to begin to comprehend this.

Chris Benoit: the former World Heavyweight Champion, Intercontinental Champion, United States Champion, multi-time Tag Team Champion, and internationally loved and respected professional wrestler. Chris Benoit, a man who I believed in. In a "fake" sport, Benoit was my hero. He represented everything about wrestling that I loved and percieved to be good. I remember going to my first wrestling show in 2002, and it was Benoit's first television match since coming back from neck surgery. That meant the world to me at the time. Later that year I saw Benoit team up with Kurt Angle and tear the house down against Edge and Rey Mysterio in a 26 minute 2/3 falls tag team match. That meant the world to me as well.But now my hero is murderer. I don't know how to take this. I don't want to be in denial and grasp to any theories that somehow it didn't happen that way. I don't want to make excuses for him either. All I know is that this is going to haunt me for a very long time to come.

Saturday, June 23, 2007

Vengeance


This Sunday, World Wrestling Entertainment presents Vengeance, a "Night of Champions." The hype for this show has been on the back-burner thanks to the continuing fake news coverage over the death of Mr. McMahon (which CNBC claims could make WWE vulnerable to lawsuits over the fact that they are a publicly traded company and have issued press releases in an attempt to blur the lines between fiction and real life). Also add to the fact that Vengeance is right on the heels of One Night Stand and the recent news that Backlash did a poor buyrate, this show appears to be doomed. So what exactly is going wrong in WWE land with this show and what could have been done to fix this?
1) Mick Foley is stepping out of retirement (again) and is main eventing his first pay-per-view since Wrestlemania 16 (back in April 2000). This is a stunt clearly designed to boost the buyrate, but is this really an effective plan in the year 2007? WWE needs to realize that Foley has been an inactive talent for seven years now. In perspective, seven years before 2000 was 1993, where Yokozuna and Lex Luger were headlining for the World Wrestling Federation. That's an awful long time in the wrestling world, and the fanbase has clearly shifted. When Foley came out on the draft episode of Raw and announced that he was accepting the open challenge for Vengeance, you could practically hear crickets in the audience. No one really seemed to care, and I think Foley noticed it. I am a huge Foley mark, but it is time to face reality now.
You may have noticed that in the past two years, Raw (as well as Smackdown) has been enjoying larger attendance at shows. However, these are not the same fans who were turned off by the product in 2002 and 2003 and have magically returned. These are new fans, who have been sucked in by the buzz coming from the current stars, most notably John Cena and Edge. When they see Foley on Raw, they are all aware that he used to be a big star, but to them he is just an out of shape retiree with a bad hair cut. They are also conditioned to seeing Foley show up mainly to put people over. That is admirable on Foley's behalf, but a lot of the newer fans unfortunately see him as a loser in the process.
2) Stephanie McMahon on Raw. With less than a week before a pay-per-view, you know, the shows that cost viewers 40 bucks a pop to witness, Stephanie comes out and makes a big announcement about the NEXT episode of Raw. Yeah, it's going to be three hours and have all three brands (two weeks after the last three hour episode and draft that was supposedly going to reestablish the lines between brands) so the show is going to be a big deal. However, it makes a state of mind in the fans that they have something big to look forward to next Monday, on free television, so they can skip paying $40 for Vengeance on Sunday, and maybe they'll pick it up later for $16 at Wal-Mart or watch it on WWE 24/7.
Stephanie also faces the same challenge that Foley does. The current fanbase isn't that familiar wtih her. Some longterm fans will remember her as the helpless victim of The Undertaker in 1999, or Triple H's scheming wife in 2000, and maybe some of the newer fans can remember when she was the sympathetic general manager of Smackdown in 2002 and 2003. But most of the new fans, who jumped on board in the past two years, only know her as Vince's daughter, and might even remember her as the obnoxious loud-mouth who tried getting herself over again when Raw returned to USA. But based on her nonexistant crowd reaction on the last Raw, it is clear to me that the fans don't remember her or just don't care about her anymore, or a mixture of both.
3) The "Night of Champions" concept is a pretty cool idea, but it also exposes how poorly the WWE has been booking the championship belts. The issue is that many of the titles have been booked into oblivion or are being held by superstars who aren't really being pushed. Let's take a look at the titles.
WWE Champion: John Cena. This is the best booked title in the WWE today, which is a good thing because the title dates back to 1963. Cena has been a great champion during his third reign, and I don't see any reason why he should drop it at Vengeance. The match itself, with a collection of former champions just thrown in there, screams "fantasy booking," and has the potential to be a real cluster-fuck. However, there is a strong chance that Cena's reign could be up this time, and that gives the match a much needed injection of excitement. This match will probably be the main draw for this show, for obvious reasons.
World Heavyweight Champion: Edge. The rumors have been that Edge is going to be a longterm champion, which many have assumed this means that he'll be holding the belt until Wrestlemania time. Edge was a great choice to hold this belt when Undertaker got hurt, because he brings a fresh touch to Smackdown and it gives him an opportunity to run with the ball, something that wasn't going to happen for him on Raw. My only issue with the match on Sunday is that Edge has been feuding with Batista for months now, and they have not produced anything memorable as far as storytelling goes and reactions to their pay-per-view bouts have been lukewarm at best. I'm eager for Edge to retain the title and feud with a returning Rey Mysterio later this year, while Batista finally gets his feud with Mark Henry off the ground (assuming that Henry doesn't go down with ANOTHER injury).
ECW World Championship: Vacant. Chris Benoit and CM Punk are going to wrestle at Vengeance for this title, and that is a legitimate dream match amongst the internet crowd. If this match delivers, it will be automatically worth picking up on DVD, no matter how awful the rest of the show is. The winner should be Chris Benoit at this point, mainly because he's never held the ECW title, and he would make the ECW brand seem legitimate.
Intercontinental Champion: Santino Marella. The IC title has sunken really low in 2007. It was making a comeback last year, during the great Jeff Hardy/Johnny Nitro feud, but since Umaga won the title in February (by absolutely squashing Hardy) the title has been off the radar again. Umaga barely defended the title and Marella winning it was a neat, if not completely random moment. Marella has had some okay-ish title defenses, but he isn't catching on the way WWE hoped, and it seems that his time is up on Sunday. If Umaga takes the belt, I really hope they do something with it this time, because the IC title has too much history behind it to simply be forgotten about now.
United States Champion: MVP. Smackdown has treated the U.S. title the way Raw should be treating the IC title. They aren't just using the title to get MVP over, but they are also using MVP to add to the title's prestige. That is something that WWE forgets to do with most of their championships. MVP won the title at the end of a tremendous feud with Chris Benoit, and I dearly hope he doesn't lose to Flair on Sunday.
World Tag Team Champions: Lance Cade and Trevor Murdoch. This title is making a comeback of sorts, as Jeff and Matt Hardy did a lot to bring attention back to the gold. Cade and Murdoch have been booked much better now than they were during their first reign (they won the title almost immediately after debuting and lost to little fanfare against Big Show and Kane less than two months later). There is no reason for the Hardy's to take the title back on Sunday, as they are both on seperate shows and it is high time to reestablish the lines between brands.
WWE Tag Team Champions: Deuce and Domino. This belt is really hurting right now. London and Kendrick reigned for 11 months, but I can hardly remember anything they were involved in during the last five months of the reign. Deuce and Domino randomly took the titles on a throway episode of Smackdown and have done nothing of note since either. They don't even have scheduled opponents for Vengeance, with many predicting the Majors Brothers will be getting the shot. This is also only the second pay-per-view appearance by Deuce and Domino, with their first being all the way back at No Way Out in February. My question is why put the tag titles on a team that they don't even think enough of to schedule on pay-per-views on a regular basis, that it took a "Night of Champions" theme just to get them on the show?
Women's Champion: Melina. This title almost always gets included on pay-per-views, but that suggests that it is more prestigious than it really is. The Women's title match is almost always the piss break match, as it is routinely poor quality and frequently is placed on the card in between main event matches. Candice Michelle has a very real chance of taking the title on Sunday, and would be the first Diva Search contestant to win the gold. Melina has not been taking off as champion too well, but at least she is someone who WWE thinks enough of to have regularly portrayed on television, unlike former champions such as Molly Holly (she was practically invisible in her 2003 run) and Gail Kim.
Cruiserweight Champion: Chavo Guerrero. And we end here, on the most depressing championship in all of the WWE. Why is Chavo Guerrero the champ? To push him? To reward him for his hard work? No, the reason Chavo is the champ is because they had NOTHING else for him to do. His push towards the U.S. title flopped and his character was dead in the water, thanks to the tasteless feud against Rey Mysterio (even though Chavo won that feud, his character was damaged badly). So Chavo won the title at No Way Out, as the surprise entrant to a cruiserweight open, just after Jimmy Wang Yang had unceremoniously ended the year-plus reign of Gregory Helms. Since then, Chavo has been barely used on television and has been featured on ZERO pay-per-views, that is until this "Night of Champions" theme forced Smackdown to push the cruiserweight division again in recent weeks. Again, I want to ask the WWE why is it that they would put a championship on someone they did not plan on utilizing in any meaningful way.
Final Thoughts: So there you have it, this "Night of Champions" concept has exposed how poorly WWE has been booking the titles. Thanks to the theme, they are presenting a pay-per-view full of participants who are barely ever on pay-per-views, yet they are somehow the champions or the top contenders. WWE officials and writers probably don't care about this situation, but it would be my deep hope that they will learn a lesson from Vengeance and that things will improve from here.

Friday, June 15, 2007

RIP to Sensational Sherri

From the Observer - Sherri Russell aka Sensational Sherri Martel passed away, this morning, at home. She was 49. No other details are available at the moment. Police are currently as her residence with her husband. In 1991, while managing Randy Savage, Sherri was the only woman ever to win the Manager of the Year award.

Old School Gold

Stan Hansen vs. Andre The Giant
September 23rd, 1981
Taped in Japan
Andre is already on the assault before the bell even rings! Hansen clubs himself outo f the corner with some forearm shots, but Andre uses his gigantic boot to save himself. Andre goes for the bear hug in the early going, and Hansen clubs away with forearms out of desperation. Hansen goes for the face, but Andre keeps the hold locked on. Wow, a bear hug spot that I don't hate, amazing. Hansen finally breaks out, but Andre clutches him from behind, and they fall into the ropes. Hansen continues his assault, but Andre wrenches him by the wrist, taking him down to the mat in the process. Andre has the arm lock in place for a few secodns, before breaking with a head lock and a stomp. Andre takes a breather, allowing Hansen to come back with some chops. Andre corners him, and shoves against him, forcing the ref to break it up. Andre whips Hansen across the ring and charges, but Hansen dodges and Andre hits the corner hard. The big man is down, so Hansen capitilizes with some stomps and nearly gets a scoop slam in! Andre capitilizes with a hammerlock. Andre talks some shit, and Hansen tries to club his way to freedom. Hansen pushes Andre into the ropes, and the ref breaks them up. Andre goes back to work on the wrist of Stan Hansen, pulling it over his shoulder. Hansen only escapes by pulling Andre's hair. Andre grabs the wrist again and this leads to a suplex! Andre almost falls on Hansen, but ultimately drags him up to hit him again. This transitions into a chin lock. Andre lets go and splashes Hansen into the ropes. Hansen gets back up and hits a huge power slam on Andre! Hansen then misses an elbow drop, but keeps control. Hansen gets Andre into a cobra clutch. It takes him a bit, but Andre powers his way out, but gets tripped into the ropes in short order. Hansen is clearly selling this as the fight of his life. They end up brawling at ringside, and some photographers get in the way of my view. Hansen slams Andre's skull into the ring apron, and flees into the ring. The bell has been rung, and it is not clear if the match is going to continue or not. Andre argues with the officials, apparently the fight at ringside was the cause (I can't really tell due to everything being in Japanese). The match then restarts at 10:42.Hansen arm drags Andre to the mat and hits some forearms to the skull. Andre is then left hanging out to dry on the ropes, making him an easy target for some more shots. Andre is pissed and strangles Hansen on the ropes and hits a terrifying chop. Andre hits a duo of head butts. Hansen blocks a shot to the turnbuckle and drives Andre's skull into the ring post instead. Hansen goes for an elbow drop, but Andre catches him and turns it into an arm lock. They get to their feet and Andre puts Hansen into a standing surfboard stretch, adding some head butts in for good measure. Andre then hits a big power slam, but then misses a splash! Hansen misses an elbow drop! Andre hits a few more head butts. Andre whips Hansen, but misses the big boot and gets hit with a lariat! This sends Andre falling over the ropes to ringside. Andre needs a minute to fix his elbow pad, but returns to the ring. He pushes the referee aside and clotheslines him! Andre continues his aggressive attack on Hansen, while other officials flood the ring to check on the ref. The bell rings at 15:04, apparently disqualifying Andre. The brawl between Hansen and Andre storms on, and it is all the officials can do to seperate them. The match was not technically great, but this was a great brawl and had an epic feel to it. Hansen was in control at parts, but always looked as if it was all he could do to keep up with the giant. There were a lot of rest holds, but they were used to advance the story of the match, not just used to allow the wrestlers to take it easier. This all adds up to make a good *** match.
Winner by DQ: Stan Hansen

Saturday, June 9, 2007

ROH 6/8 thoughts.

So Plague and I did end up going to the ROH show last night, and it was well worth it. I don't want to hear any more nonsense about how ROH fans are in "denial" over the "depleted" roster, because everyone on the card brought their A game and delivered. It's one of those things that you cannot understand if you don't actually watch the shows, and don't pass this off as me being some sort of mindless ROHbot, because I went through a lot of driving (in fucking Roxbury at that) to get to this show and I wouldn't have had a problem tearing this show a new asshole if it didn't deliver.

Anyhow, on to the show.

-Plague and I actually arrived before the doors open.

-Student tag team match took place, I only caught Ernie Osiris and Bobby Dempsey as participants. Pretty vanilla stuff, as you'd probably guess.

-Rhett Titus and Mitch Franklin defeated two unnamed local guys. This started out on the generic side, but they picked the pace up and were able to win the crowd over.

-Main show begins.

-BJ Whitmer went no contest with Brent Albright after Whitmer headbutted the referee. Whitmer then threw a temper tantrum and destroyed everything in the ringside area. Crowd was really into this match in general, though this match was clearly set up to progress to a bigger match down the line between these two.

-Daizee Haze called out Lacey, but got Jimmy Jacobs instead. Haze attacked Jimmy, but Lacey made the save and they beat down Daizee. This is the third straight time Daizee has been laid out in Boston, I can only hope that this is leading to her getting some measure of revenge at the next show.

-Bryan Danielson defeated Jimmy Rave in a solid, ***-ish match. Lots of creative chain wrestling, as you'd expect, earned Danielson a mid-match standing ovation. Danielson won with the elbows to the face. A lot of fans were confused as to why this was so low on the card, but were into it regardless.

-Kevin Steen defeated Mark Briscoe in a rather awesome brawl. Lots of high spots and in crowd brawling. This match did a lot to put Steen over too, as he played his heel character really well and was dominant. Steen tried to take Mark out with a chair afterwards, but Jay and El Generico ran in and they were seperated.

-It was announced that ROH is coming back to Boston on August 10th for DEATH BEFORE DISHONOR Night 1!! Plague and I marked out like a couple of kids. It was announced that Aug. 10 will have the Briscoes defending the ROH Tag belts against Steen and Generico in a Boston Street Fight. Also, the upcoming four-way is for a shot at the World title on Aug. 10.

-Claudio Castagnoli defeated Chris Hero, Nigel McGuinness, and Mike Quackenbush for the title shot. Great match, with a lot of emphasis on getting Quackenbush over, and the building tension between Castagnoli and Hero. Hero had Larry Sweeney, Tank Toland, and Bobby Dempsey in his corner, and they were amusing and butting in throughout the bout. Quackenbush had a couple of redicuously close near falls, and Nigel wasn't as involved as I would have expected (he's probably got something big going on in Philly tonight). So now we have Claudio vs. Morishima for the ROH belt to look forward to.

-Intermission! I should note that before the four-way I snuck out to use the water fountain and bumped into Jimmy Jacobs. Good times.

-Eddie Edwards defeated Pelle Primeau. Match was sloppy at points, but they were able to win (most) of the crowd over by the end. Edwards is the hometown boy, so the crowd was very receptive to him.

-Matt Sydal beat El Generico in a show stealer. Crowd was very vocal throughout, with "Ole" chants for Generico and "Sydal" chants in the ole tune for good old Sydal. Only downer is that the fans really wanted Generico to go over.

-Delirious, Erick Stevens, and Matt Cross defeated Roderick Strong, Rocky Romero, and Davey Richards in an awesome six man tag. Lots of action all over the ring and ringside, and several false finishes. Delirious looked hurt afterwards and was overheard requesting a doctor in the hallway afterwards.

-Takeshi Morishima beat Jay Briscoe to retain the ROH World title. This match surprised the HELL out of me. They booked it so that Jay got in a couple very convincing false finishes on Mori, so logic be damned, they made it seem like Jay could have actually won, which is what this match badly needed. The crowd was very solidly behind Jay the entire match, and were disappointed when Morishima "hulked up" and ate Jay for dinner. The crowd was much more into this than I was expecting.

-After the main event, Generico and Steen jumped Jay, prompting Mark to run in for the save. They brawled in the crowd again and into the hallway. Fun way to finish the show, the DVD will probably have footage of me acting like a mark during this point.
So yes, this was an awesome show to attend live. Great crowd, great card, and a lot of hard work by the roster.

Wednesday, June 6, 2007

Another reason why Cena is the man in 2007.

WWE Championship:
John Cena © vs. Shawn Michaels
Wrestlemania 23
A fan leaps into the ring before the match starts, and is quickly escorted out. HBK waves to the fan as he’s escorted out, which is pretty funny stuff. The bell rings, but HBK stalls by sitting on a turnbuckle, acting like he doesn’t care about the match. HBK offers Cena a handshake, but Cena doesn’t want to, seeing as he was just super kicked on Raw. HBK slaps Cena instead and knocks him down. HBK taunts Cena DX-style, and the match finally begins. Side headlock by HBK turns into an armbar. Cena reverses and HBK blocks a suplex. HBK ducks some shots from Cena and knocks him down again. They back into their separate corners, and the match restarts. Cena is beginning to realize that he is in big trouble with this title defense. They lock up again, and HBK wrenches Cena’s arm and hits some shoulder thrusts. HBK swings Cena into a side headlock. Cena fights to his feet, but HBK whips him back down without breaking the headlock. Cena gets to his feet, pushes HBK into the ropes, misses two clothesline attempts, but finally connects with a third try. HBK goes down hard, and the crowd boos Cena heavily. They take a breather, and Cena soon runs into a Lou Thesz press. Cena dumps HBK onto the apron, but HBK drops Cena neck first on the ropes. HBK then hip tosses Cena over the ropes to the floor! Knife edge chop by HBK and an enziguri. HBK then hits an Asai moonsault off the ropes onto Cena, landing on the table! HBK directs Cena back to the ring and hits more punches and chops. Irish whip into the turnbuckle with authority by HBK, but Cena blocks a rampaging HBK. Cena is knocked down again. HBK decides to target Cena’s left knee. HBK aggressively swings the knee into the ring post. Cena uses the ropes to stand up, but HBK tackles the knee. HBK continues to work the knee, taking a break to hit the occasional chop. The referee even bothers to ask Cena if he can continue. HBK chops Cena into the corner, but Cena punches him away. Michaels tackles Cena in the corner, who is still acting like he cannot stand. They exchange chops and punches, with the crowd showing favoritism towards HBK. HBK tries another tackle, but Cena dodges, with HBK hitting the ring post head-first. HBK is busted open! Cena then stops selling the leg and hits a clothesline and repeatedly punches HBK on the mat. Shoulder block by Cena and suplex. Cena considers selling his knee for a second, but reminds HBK that “you can’t see me.” Five knuckle shuffle by Cena. Cena goes for the F-U, but HBK escapes and hits a chop. Cena sends HBK into the turnbuckle. HBK goes for the Sweet Chin Music, but accidentally takes out the referee instead. Cena goes for the F-U again, but HBK counters with a DDT. HBK is angry now and pulls Cena to ringside and positions him for a piledriver on the steps. He actually hits the move too! HOLY SHIT! I can’t believe Cena took that bump! HBK drags Cena back to the ring, and Cena is bleeding from the back of his head now. Another referee runs in for a cover, but Cena somehow kicked out! HBK is furious now, and goes high risk. HBK connects with the elbow drop and signals Sweet Chin Music. Cena charges with a clothesline, knocking HBK down before he can deliver the kick. They barely make it to their feet and exchange shots. Cena then catches HBK in an F-U position, but HBK counters and rolls Cena up, but only gets a two count. HBK shoots Cena into the ropes, and Cena catches him and hits the F-U at long last! Cena is slow to get the cover, and HBK kicks out. Cena plants HBK on the top turnbuckle. Cena tries to F-U HBK off the top, but it’s blocked. HBK throws Cena to the floor and HBK flies off with a flying crossbody. Cena catches him and rolls him into another F-U. HBK blocks by landing on his feet. Cena looks for the STFU, but HBK blocks. HBK gets an inside cradle, and Cena barely kicks out. HBK misses an enziguri, and Cena locks on the STFU. HBK must appear to be superhuman and is trapped in the hold for a long time before making it to the ropes. The ref scolds Cena for being reluctant to break the hold, giving HBK a chance to strike with the Sweet Chin Music! HBK slowly gets the cover, and Cena kicks out at two. Both men are down for several seconds, but use each other to prop themselves to their feet. Cena tries for the F-U, but it is countered, so Cena locks the STFU on again! HBK finally taps out at 28:22! John Cena has retained the WWE Championship at two consecutive Wrestlemania’s! Aside from the nonsense with the working the knee in the early going, this was an awesome match, especially the final ten minutes when either man could have easily and convincingly gone over at any moment, ****1/2.
Winner and still WWE Champion: John Cena

The current MOTY.

WWE Championship:
John Cena © vs. Umaga (with Armando Alejandro Estrada)
Royal Rumble 2007
This is a last man standing match and a lot of people online called this a MOTYC, so now I'm going to see for myself.Cena and Umaga go nose to nose and exchange shots. Cena blocks a suplex and hitsa jaw breaker, but runs gut first into Umaga's fist. Cena retreats to ringside. Cena drags himself to the apron, but Umaga knocks him back down. Cena is already acting dazed. Umaga rams Cena into the steel steps. Umaga stands around for several seconds before following this up with his methodical offense, directing Cena up the entrance aisle. Cena fires back with a fury of shots and knocks Umaga's head into the ring apron. Umaga shrugs this off and hits Cena in the gut. Back in the ring, Umaga connects with a head butt and continues to focus on Cena's gut, which is bandaged. Cena is such an underdog. Umaga slowly corners Cena and slugs away. He Irish whips Cena and charges, but Cena gets a boot up. Umaga knocks Cena down anyway. Cena is dead now, and Umaga waits patientlly as the ref counts. Cena gets up only to suffer a scoop slam. Umaga brings some steps into the ring. Umaga takes too long and gets dropped neck first on the ropes. Cena then grabs the steps and throws themm over the ropes onto Umaga at ringside! HOLY SHIT! That was a brave spot right there. Umaga gets up before the ten count, but is in a daze. Cena is fired up and aggressively directs Umaga to the ring, but takes a spinning heel kick. Umaga goes back to attacking the gut, which leads to a bear hug. It makes sense in the story of the match, so I won't spend any time bitching about it. The bear hug leads to a belly to belly suplex, and Cena appears to be dead. Umaga grabs more steps, you know, just in case Cena doesn't get up. Cena gets up at 9, but Umaga is ready for him. Umaga knocks Cena down and positions the steps in the corner. Umaga sits Cena on the steps and prepares for the running ass shot. Cena moves out of the way, and Umaga hits the steel hard! Cena grabs the steps and drives it into Umaga's head! Umaga makes it to his feet and barely manages to catch Cena flying off the turnbuckles for a tirt-a-whirl slam. Umaga uses the ropes to splash Cena. Cena gets his knees up on Umaga's third try. Cena bulldogs Umaga into the steps! Cena then drops Umaga back first on the steps! That's it, Umaga has to be dead now. Cena does the five knuckle shuffle while Umaga is still laying on the steps, which actually makes the move look cool. Cena goes for the F-U, but his back doesn't hold out and both men hit the steps. That was kind of awkward. This is enough to warrant a blade job from Cena. Umaga smells blood and targets a flurry of shots to the bloody forehead, turning the gore level up a couple of notches. Estrada positions the steps on the side of the apron, as Umaga continues his attack. Cena gets up at 8, and is helpless to numerous shots. Umaga hits some chops, but Cena shrugs them off and tries to mount a comeback, but runs right into a damn Samoan drop! Umaga signals the Samoan Spike, but Cena blocks it. Umaga hits a head butt and places Cena upside down in the turnbuckles. Cena sits up to miss a running head butt. Cena hits a leg drop off the top and then drives Umaga into the ring post! Cena grabs a television monitor from the announce table and pushes Estrada away. Cena smacks Umaga in the head with it, glass first, and you can see the dust from the screen in the air! HOLY SHIT! Gimmicked or not, that had to hurt. Cena tackles Umaga through the ropes, but gets caught when he lept off the apron. Umaga rams Cena spine-first into the apron and positions Cena on the announce table. Umaga runs down the announce tables for a splash, but Cena dodges! DAMN! I've never seen anything like that before! Umaga barely gets up before the ten count, while Estrada removes some turnbuckle padding, and unties the top rope in the process. Interesting, I say. Umaga takes the loose turnbuckle and tries to hit Cena with it, but Cena dodges and hits an F-U. Cena knocks Estrada down and incorporates the ring rope into the STFU, choking the life out of Umaga! Cena lets go of Umaga so the ref can count, but Umaga crawls up. Cena reapplies the choke, which looks far more blatant this time. Umaga is unable to get up and Cena wins the match at 22:39. This match lived up to the hype, as it incorporated some truly inventive spots and satisfying violence. This match deserves to be talked about for a long time, ****3/4.
Winner and still WWE Champion: John Cena

Friday, June 1, 2007

Joe vs. Morishima

Early MOTYC or just really good? Since those to be the only two options, here's the review:

Samoa Joe vs. Takeshi Morishima
ROH Fifth Year Festival
February 16th 2007
Morishima doesn't waste a damn moment and nails Joe with his forearm before the bell can even ring. They brawl and Joe whips Morishima into the ropes, but is taken down by a shoulder block. Joe retreats to ringside and takes a flying shoulder block off the apron from Morishima. Joe is directed back into the ring and over powerd by Morishima, who cartwheels into a corner avalanche. Morishima is a beast and stomps Joe to the mat. "Dueling chants" from the crowd as Morishima chokes Joe on the ropes. Scoop slam and a rope assisted stomp by Morishima. Joe hits a chop and tries to regain his edge, but Morishima directs Joe back to the second rope. Jabs by Joe, but Morishima asssaults with a hard shot. Sleeper by Morishima. Joe escapes, but is splashed in the corner again. Morishima goes for a cover, but Joe gets a foot on the ropes. Rear chinlock by Morishima. Joe gets to the ropes, but Morishima reapplies the hold. Joe pops out and hits some chops. Joe bounces off the ropes and runs right into Morishima's huge ass. Morishima goes high risk and hits a missile drop-kick! Morishima is a fucking beast! Morishima gains another close cover. Joe counters an Irish whip but runs into Morishima's boot. Joe counters an off the ropes club with his knee and mounts enough offense to gain a close fall. Joe his a back elbow and enziguri on a cornered Morishima. Joe wipes his boot on Morishima's face and hits the running boot. Joe hits a ruthless kick to the face, all the while selling his back. Jabs and kicks by Joe. Snapmare by Joe into a face rake. Joe drives his elbow into Morishima's face, busting him open in the process. Joe blocks a suplex and hits some more stiff kicks, directed towards the face region. Morishima retreats to ringside, but takes a suicide dive from Joe! Joe made sure to connect his arm to Morishima's face in the process, that was awesome! Joe positions Morishima for the "ole, ole" kicks and connects in brutal fashion! Joe repeats the spot and connects yet again. Morishima is still bleeding from the nose, adding to the drama. Joe directs Morishima into the ring for a cover, but it only gets two. More jabs by Joe, but Morishima dodges a lariat, Joe keeps trying to get the lariat but runs into a side slam after a thrilling exchange. More dueling chants from the crowd. Morishima dives on a sitting Samoa Joe twice and gets a near fall. Irish whip and a big boot by Morishima. Joe dodges another boot and slams Morishima for another near fall. Morishima blocks a suplex, but Joe gets another enziguri and a Death Valley Driver! Joe only gets a two out of the cover! Joe goes for the power bomb, but Morishima blocks, so Joe hits some stiff kicks. Morishima blocks the power bomb and flips Joe over his back, and then drops his ass on Joe's chest. Morishima goes high risk again, but Joe cuts him off with kicks and shots. Joe climbs up goes for a superplex. It is blocked, so Joe hits a kick to the head and then the Muscle Buster! Somehow Morishima kicked out of the following cover! WHAT! That was damn convincing. More jabs by Joe, focusing on the nose, and a big boot! Morishima shrugs it off and connects with a lariat! They are both down for several seconds. Lou Thesz press by Morishima almost wins the match. Side suplex by Morishima! Morishima gets a second side suplex and a near fall. Joe appears to be dead. Morishima hits a lariat to the back of Joe's head, but Joe ducks a second attempt and hits a half nelson suplex! Joe goes for the headlock, blocks a chinbreaker, and keeps the hold on. Morishima fights out, but Joe goes back to the choke. Joe applis the full blown Kokina Clutch! Morishima passes out and Joe is the winner at 18:09! That finish was a little anticlimatic, but it sets the table for future rematches. The match went from "feeling out" to "going home" really quickly, but provided tons of action, psychology, and big bumps, ****1/4.
Winner: Samoa Joe