-From Montreal, Quebec. You know what that means right? Screwy finishes, and no Hart Dynasty in action, that’s what! I’m also banking on some bizarro world crowd reactions, let’s just hope any haven’t been edited off the DVD.
-Our hosts are Michael Cole, Jerry Lawler, Jim Ross, Todd Grisham, Matt Striker, and Josh Matthews. The pay-per-view has a submission theme for the main events.
Unified Tag Team Championship:
Chris Jericho and Big Show © vs. Mark Henry and MVP
Jericho is surprisingly cowardly and hapless against MVP. Jericho vents with some slapping, but MVP almost puts him away with a neckbreaker. Henry tags, but Jericho quickly puts Big Show in the match. “Let’s go, Big Show” chant from the audience as the giants lumber around. Henry goes for a Bodyslam, but Jericho interferes. Show gains the advantage, with Jericho getting some cheap shots in along the way. Henry is briefly isolated before clothes lining Show and making a lukewarm tag to MVP, who cleans house. Jericho kicks out of the ballin’ elbow drop but the Walls are countered. Big Show gets a blind tag and spears the life out of MVP. Jericho wears down MVP for a few minutes, but a desperate DDT by MVP allows a hot tag to Henry. The crowd wakes up as Henry gets some convincing near falls in. Big Show clocks Henry with the knockout blow from the apron, allowing Jericho to make the pin at 12:11. Not bad, just not very good either, **.
Winners and still Unified Tag Team Champions: Chris Jericho and Big Show
Chris Jericho and Big Show © vs. Mark Henry and MVP
Jericho is surprisingly cowardly and hapless against MVP. Jericho vents with some slapping, but MVP almost puts him away with a neckbreaker. Henry tags, but Jericho quickly puts Big Show in the match. “Let’s go, Big Show” chant from the audience as the giants lumber around. Henry goes for a Bodyslam, but Jericho interferes. Show gains the advantage, with Jericho getting some cheap shots in along the way. Henry is briefly isolated before clothes lining Show and making a lukewarm tag to MVP, who cleans house. Jericho kicks out of the ballin’ elbow drop but the Walls are countered. Big Show gets a blind tag and spears the life out of MVP. Jericho wears down MVP for a few minutes, but a desperate DDT by MVP allows a hot tag to Henry. The crowd wakes up as Henry gets some convincing near falls in. Big Show clocks Henry with the knockout blow from the apron, allowing Jericho to make the pin at 12:11. Not bad, just not very good either, **.
Winners and still Unified Tag Team Champions: Chris Jericho and Big Show
-Josh Matthews asks Ted Dibiase and Cody Rhodes about their status as the underdogs against DX. Rhodes explains this won’t be a match, but more so a fight. Dibiase vows to make DX tap for the first time ever and makes fun of the DX glow sticks (and rightfully so, what do they charge something like $10 for those damn things?).
-The Miz comes to the ring for his match and cuts a promo in French. Well, somebody has gotta wake this crowd up.
United States Championship:
Kofi Kingston © vs. The Miz
It doesn’t take long for the mat-based wrestling game to turn into a fast-paced sprint to the pin. Kingston is all over the pace, outsmarting The Miz. Unfortunately, Miz trips Kofi off the turnbuckle to gain the advantage. Miz slows things down to wear down the champion. Kingston keeps finding openings, but Miz quickly cuts off the opportunity. Yes, I know I’m describing pretty much every WWE midcard match. They trade kicks to the ribs and I almost want to take back my snide comment. They trade near falls, with an especially convincing one when Miz counters the Boom Drop. They reverse near falls again, with Kofi hitting the Boom Drop for real, but still coming up short. Miz rolls through a flying cross body and almost wins it (even grabbing the tights didn’t work). Kofi delivers Trouble in Paradise and picks up the victory at 11:55. It took a while to get going, but they really stepped it up in the final stretch, **½.
Winner and still United States Championship: Kofi Kingston
Kofi Kingston © vs. The Miz
It doesn’t take long for the mat-based wrestling game to turn into a fast-paced sprint to the pin. Kingston is all over the pace, outsmarting The Miz. Unfortunately, Miz trips Kofi off the turnbuckle to gain the advantage. Miz slows things down to wear down the champion. Kingston keeps finding openings, but Miz quickly cuts off the opportunity. Yes, I know I’m describing pretty much every WWE midcard match. They trade kicks to the ribs and I almost want to take back my snide comment. They trade near falls, with an especially convincing one when Miz counters the Boom Drop. They reverse near falls again, with Kofi hitting the Boom Drop for real, but still coming up short. Miz rolls through a flying cross body and almost wins it (even grabbing the tights didn’t work). Kofi delivers Trouble in Paradise and picks up the victory at 11:55. It took a while to get going, but they really stepped it up in the final stretch, **½.
Winner and still United States Championship: Kofi Kingston
-DX cuts a promo before the match and they cleverly play off the traditional “You Screwed Bret” chants. Yep, some fans in this city are still pissed about Survivor Series 1997. Do I need to show them the current date on the calendar?
Submissions Count Anywhere:
Shawn Michaels and Triple H vs. Ted Dibiase and Cody Rhodes
There are no tags in the match so a wild four man brawl kicks off the fight. Triple H drops Dibiase knee-first on the announce table while HBK and Rhodes brawl into the crowd. Dibiase and Triple H rush out to join them. HBK wraps Dibiase around a rail while HHH and Rhodes brawl into a concession area. The fans surround them with “You screwed Bret” chants while DX lock on simultaneous figure fours. The fans start singing “Ole” as Legacy fights back and they brawl back into the arena. Michaels gets clotheslined onto a table awkwardly, but Triple H pulls Rhodes through a chair and applies a Boston crab. Michaels joins him for a Camel Clutch! AWESOME! Dibiase makes the save. The match returns to the ring, where Rhodes saves Dibiase from a Triple H crossface. HBK tries to clean house but Rhodes brutally stretches him over his back at ringside. HHH saves Michaels, and he brawls with Rhodes into the fans while HHH works over Dibiase. Michaels is pushed off the stands onto concealed padding, er, production equipment. HHH is fired up and takes on both Legacy members on the stage and into the back. Triple H puts Dibiase though a table and puts the crossface on Rhodes, but Dibiase breaks it up with a cooler. Dibiase amusingly slips on the ice from the cooler as they leave the unconscious Triple H to return to the arena to beat the holy hell out of Shawn Michaels. I’m sorry, but I cannot stand the sad voices Cole and Lawler are using during this stretch. HBK shows signs of life, but Cody applies an ankle lock. Michaels disposes of Dibiase and super kicks Rhodes and applies the figure four! Dibiase saves and the 2 on 1 battle continues. Rhodes applies a figure four on Michaels around the post! Dibiase applies the Million Dollar Dream at the same time! Triple H rolls through the curtains but he’s too late as HBK taps out at 21:37! This was a wild brawl that made excellent use of the stipulations. It petered out a little bit after Triple H got knocked out, but was otherwise hard-hitting, innovative, and entertaining as all hell, ****.
Winners: Ted Dibiase and Cody Rhodes
Shawn Michaels and Triple H vs. Ted Dibiase and Cody Rhodes
There are no tags in the match so a wild four man brawl kicks off the fight. Triple H drops Dibiase knee-first on the announce table while HBK and Rhodes brawl into the crowd. Dibiase and Triple H rush out to join them. HBK wraps Dibiase around a rail while HHH and Rhodes brawl into a concession area. The fans surround them with “You screwed Bret” chants while DX lock on simultaneous figure fours. The fans start singing “Ole” as Legacy fights back and they brawl back into the arena. Michaels gets clotheslined onto a table awkwardly, but Triple H pulls Rhodes through a chair and applies a Boston crab. Michaels joins him for a Camel Clutch! AWESOME! Dibiase makes the save. The match returns to the ring, where Rhodes saves Dibiase from a Triple H crossface. HBK tries to clean house but Rhodes brutally stretches him over his back at ringside. HHH saves Michaels, and he brawls with Rhodes into the fans while HHH works over Dibiase. Michaels is pushed off the stands onto concealed padding, er, production equipment. HHH is fired up and takes on both Legacy members on the stage and into the back. Triple H puts Dibiase though a table and puts the crossface on Rhodes, but Dibiase breaks it up with a cooler. Dibiase amusingly slips on the ice from the cooler as they leave the unconscious Triple H to return to the arena to beat the holy hell out of Shawn Michaels. I’m sorry, but I cannot stand the sad voices Cole and Lawler are using during this stretch. HBK shows signs of life, but Cody applies an ankle lock. Michaels disposes of Dibiase and super kicks Rhodes and applies the figure four! Dibiase saves and the 2 on 1 battle continues. Rhodes applies a figure four on Michaels around the post! Dibiase applies the Million Dollar Dream at the same time! Triple H rolls through the curtains but he’s too late as HBK taps out at 21:37! This was a wild brawl that made excellent use of the stipulations. It petered out a little bit after Triple H got knocked out, but was otherwise hard-hitting, innovative, and entertaining as all hell, ****.
Winners: Ted Dibiase and Cody Rhodes
-Backstage, Josh Matthews asks Randy Orton for his reaction to Legacy’s victory. Orton says that he has no reaction because he knew that they were going to win. Orton calls Matthews out for asking two questions when he had only been granted one, and ties it in to John Cena, who says one things but does something else. You see, Cena says that he will can’t say “I quit” but how can he be sure? This was one of the best Orton promos I’ve seen. Grumpy Orton rules.
Singapore Cane match:
Kane vs. The Great Khali (with Ranjin Singh)
They waste little time going for the kendo sticks and they sword fight with them. Khali “overpowers” Kane by basically falling into him. Kane attacks the knee and connects with a series of cane shots. Kane stretches the arm as the impatient Montreal crowd busts out the “boring” chants. Khali busts out and unloads with cane shots. The crowd is loudly booing as Khali chops the face but only gets 2. Kane counters the vice grip with overhead cane shots. Top rope cane shot by Kane gets 2. Ranjin Singh sneaks in for a cane shot, allowing a second chop by Khali. Khali checks on his brother, leaving him open to attack. Kane nails a chokeslam to end this at 5:46. It was like their Summerslam match, but with added violence. That counts for something, right? ¼*.
Winner: Kane
Kane vs. The Great Khali (with Ranjin Singh)
They waste little time going for the kendo sticks and they sword fight with them. Khali “overpowers” Kane by basically falling into him. Kane attacks the knee and connects with a series of cane shots. Kane stretches the arm as the impatient Montreal crowd busts out the “boring” chants. Khali busts out and unloads with cane shots. The crowd is loudly booing as Khali chops the face but only gets 2. Kane counters the vice grip with overhead cane shots. Top rope cane shot by Kane gets 2. Ranjin Singh sneaks in for a cane shot, allowing a second chop by Khali. Khali checks on his brother, leaving him open to attack. Kane nails a chokeslam to end this at 5:46. It was like their Summerslam match, but with added violence. That counts for something, right? ¼*.
Winner: Kane
-Eve Torres asks CM Punk about his match tonight against the Undertaker. Punk says that no one is giving him a chance against the spooky Undertaker, but that’s alright. No one gave him a chance at Summerslam against Jeff Hardy. Speaking of Jeff, you’ll never see Punk’s mug shot on television! Ouch. Punk says the power of his straight edge lifestyle can overpower Undertaker, when the lights suddenly go out. Turns out it was just Jimmy Wang Yang being an asshole, so Punk beats him up. Punk wraps it up by saying that Undertaker should be worried about him and he walks over Yang as he leaves. This was the usual great stuff from Punk.
ECW Championship:
Christian © vs. William Regal (with Vladimir Kozlov and Ezekiel Jackson)
We learn right away that Jackson and Kozlov have been banned from ringside by Tiffany. They put on a nice display of chain wrestling (which would’ve been nice to see at Summerslam, just for the record). Christian tries to quicken the pace, but Regal knocks him to ringside and takes control. Christian chain wrestles out of a rest hold but Regal delivers an exploder suplex! Regal stays on the offense with a surfboard dragon sleeper. Christian escapes, but Regal continues to attack the head and face. Christian goes for the Killswitch, but Regal counters with the Regal-plex! Christian kicks out and builds some steam. Regal nails a rolling senton. Regal misses a running knee and Christian delivers the Killswitch for the win at 10:14. The match was formulaic, but both men worked really hard and featured a lot of great character moments, **¾.
Winner and still ECW Champion: Christian
Christian © vs. William Regal (with Vladimir Kozlov and Ezekiel Jackson)
We learn right away that Jackson and Kozlov have been banned from ringside by Tiffany. They put on a nice display of chain wrestling (which would’ve been nice to see at Summerslam, just for the record). Christian tries to quicken the pace, but Regal knocks him to ringside and takes control. Christian chain wrestles out of a rest hold but Regal delivers an exploder suplex! Regal stays on the offense with a surfboard dragon sleeper. Christian escapes, but Regal continues to attack the head and face. Christian goes for the Killswitch, but Regal counters with the Regal-plex! Christian kicks out and builds some steam. Regal nails a rolling senton. Regal misses a running knee and Christian delivers the Killswitch for the win at 10:14. The match was formulaic, but both men worked really hard and featured a lot of great character moments, **¾.
Winner and still ECW Champion: Christian
-They trot out Pat Patterson to play to the Montreal fans. He is interrupted byDolph Ziggler. Patterson makes fun of how unpopular Ziggler (legitimately) is. Dolph mocks Patterson for being so old, stating that prior to tonight he thought he was dead. Ziggler asks a good question about why they are wasting pay-per-view time on this segment. Yes, I second that request. Ziggler’s delivery sucks, but he’s actually drawing some good heat. Ziggler calls Patterson a coward and kicks him in the gut. You know, it did sound like Patterson was about to introduce John Morrison early on in this segment. Does this mean that Morrison was right there backstage and waited for several minutes until after Ziggler had attacked to run out and do something about it? What a jerk, man.
WWE Championship “I Quit” match:
Randy Orton © vs. John Cena
Cena goes on offense first after a long stare down. Cena misses a shoulder block and gets sent crashing into the announce table. Orton cracks Cena’s head with a monitor. Orton is in control and offers Cena a chance to quit before hitting a rope assisted DDT. Cena counts an RKO onto a chair and finds his second wind. Orton misses the death punt but blocks the STF. Orton uses the steps to reestablish control. Cena won’t quit, so Orton fetches some handcuffs. With the key around his neck, Orton cuffs Cena to the ropes and proceeds to dish out punishment (to mixed crowd reactions). Cole and Lawler are using their sad voices again and it’s driving me crazy. Orton hangs Cena up on the ring post and continues the methodical beating. There are some Singapore canes from earlier lying around and Orton makes good use of them. Cena kicks Orton in the groin and finally gets down from the post (and you can see some serious bruising from the cane shots on his stomach). Orton delivers a chair shot and hooks Cena to a turnbuckle. While handcuffed, Cena ducks a chair shot and delivers a back drop. Cena handcuffs himself to Orton and starts dishing out some revenge. Back to the ring, Orton hits the RKO but can’t the keys. Cena uses the handcuffs to apply the STF and Orton quits at 19:43! This was a pretty good story driven match, but it was a bit too one-sided to turn into anything great. I wish Cena and Orton could put on the type of wild brawl that Cena has had in the past with the likes of Umaga and Edge. Despite everything, this was a big step up from their Summerslam stinker, ***.
Winner and new WWE Champion: John Cena
Randy Orton © vs. John Cena
Cena goes on offense first after a long stare down. Cena misses a shoulder block and gets sent crashing into the announce table. Orton cracks Cena’s head with a monitor. Orton is in control and offers Cena a chance to quit before hitting a rope assisted DDT. Cena counts an RKO onto a chair and finds his second wind. Orton misses the death punt but blocks the STF. Orton uses the steps to reestablish control. Cena won’t quit, so Orton fetches some handcuffs. With the key around his neck, Orton cuffs Cena to the ropes and proceeds to dish out punishment (to mixed crowd reactions). Cole and Lawler are using their sad voices again and it’s driving me crazy. Orton hangs Cena up on the ring post and continues the methodical beating. There are some Singapore canes from earlier lying around and Orton makes good use of them. Cena kicks Orton in the groin and finally gets down from the post (and you can see some serious bruising from the cane shots on his stomach). Orton delivers a chair shot and hooks Cena to a turnbuckle. While handcuffed, Cena ducks a chair shot and delivers a back drop. Cena handcuffs himself to Orton and starts dishing out some revenge. Back to the ring, Orton hits the RKO but can’t the keys. Cena uses the handcuffs to apply the STF and Orton quits at 19:43! This was a pretty good story driven match, but it was a bit too one-sided to turn into anything great. I wish Cena and Orton could put on the type of wild brawl that Cena has had in the past with the likes of Umaga and Edge. Despite everything, this was a big step up from their Summerslam stinker, ***.
Winner and new WWE Champion: John Cena
-Cena celebrates his title win with a short promo while Orton looks on in disgust.
World Heavyweight Championship Submission match:
CM Punk © vs. The Undertaker
Punk flees the ring as the bell sounds. Undertaker’s hips are supposedly in horrific shape, so I expect the booking to reflect that. Punk is faster than Taker and overwhelms him early on. Taker effortlessly tosses Punk away and goes on the offense. Taker misses a running boot and gets hung up on the barricade, allowing Punk to get some shots in. Undertaker builds some steam but Punk blocks Old School. Taker blocks a superplex but Punk kicks the head. Punk’s superplex connects! They trade blows, with Undertaker coming out on top. Punk blocks a chokeslam with a roundhouse kick, but Undertaker applies Hell’s Gate out of nowhere. Punk taps at 8:14! Undertaker begins to celebrate with his new belt when Theodore Long comes out to spoil the mood. Long reminds us that Vickie Guerrero had previously banned Hell’s Gate and he’s upholding the rule. Long restarts the match. Taker is steamed. Punk escapes the Last Ride and applies the Anaconda Vice! As soon as the hold is in place, the bell rings! Punk wins just 30 seconds after the restart. Whoa, a screw job finish in Montreal, I’m about as shocked as you are. The match was alright, considering Undertaker’s condition, but nowhere what it needed to be, **.
Winner and still World Heavyweight Champion: CM Punk
CM Punk © vs. The Undertaker
Punk flees the ring as the bell sounds. Undertaker’s hips are supposedly in horrific shape, so I expect the booking to reflect that. Punk is faster than Taker and overwhelms him early on. Taker effortlessly tosses Punk away and goes on the offense. Taker misses a running boot and gets hung up on the barricade, allowing Punk to get some shots in. Undertaker builds some steam but Punk blocks Old School. Taker blocks a superplex but Punk kicks the head. Punk’s superplex connects! They trade blows, with Undertaker coming out on top. Punk blocks a chokeslam with a roundhouse kick, but Undertaker applies Hell’s Gate out of nowhere. Punk taps at 8:14! Undertaker begins to celebrate with his new belt when Theodore Long comes out to spoil the mood. Long reminds us that Vickie Guerrero had previously banned Hell’s Gate and he’s upholding the rule. Long restarts the match. Taker is steamed. Punk escapes the Last Ride and applies the Anaconda Vice! As soon as the hold is in place, the bell rings! Punk wins just 30 seconds after the restart. Whoa, a screw job finish in Montreal, I’m about as shocked as you are. The match was alright, considering Undertaker’s condition, but nowhere what it needed to be, **.
Winner and still World Heavyweight Champion: CM Punk
Final Thoughts: This was probably an all around better show than Summerslam, but the ending fell really flat. I’m not sure why Undertaker/Punk went on last, as it was a weak way to end the show. Since Cena/Orton ended with a title change, I’m really surprised it had to settle for the runner-up spot. The only match really worth seeing here is Legacy vs. DX, and as I stated in my Summerslam review, I’d be looking out for another DX DVD somewhere in the future that might contain the match. There’s no reason to own this show on DVD, but it doesn’t make a terrible rental.
Thumbs in the middle.
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