Saturday, August 27, 2016

Retro Rowe: WWE Survivor Series 2009 Review

WWF Survivor Series 2009
by SamoRoweNovember 22, 2009

-From Washington D.C.

-Our hosts are Michael Cole, Jerry Lawler, and Matt Striker. This particular Survivor Series did a terrible buyrate and almost prompted Vince to scrap Survivor Series as a concept. The show took place the night after a big Brock Lesnar fight on a UFC pay-per-view and that seriously hurt the numbers. It wasn’t until Wrestlemania 26 did a disappointing buyrate the night after another UFC show that Survivor Series was added back to the 2010 pay-per-view schedule.

Traditional Survivor Series match:
U.S. Champion The Miz, Dolph Ziggler, Jack Swagger, Drew McIntyre, and Sheamus vs. Evan Bourne, Finlay, Matt Hardy, Shelton Benjamin, and IC Champion John Morrison

A new era is upon us, as Sheamus is making his pay-per-view debut! Most of the heel midcarders in this match are still stuck in the midcard three years later. Swagger and Bourne go toe to toe in the early going. Bourne is at risk at being isolated and has to overcome an eager Ziggler. Bourne counters Swagger with a knee drop but gets caught in a Ziggler crab. Bourne leaps into a hurricanrana for a near fall. Hardy gets a hot tag and delivers a double elbow with Bourne. Hardy’s side effect and Bourne’s SSP finishes Ziggler at 3:55. McIntyre storms in and delivers an underhook DDT to eliminate Bourne at 4:10. Finlay charges in and soon finds himself face to face with his fellow Irishman, Sheamus. A Miz distraction allows Sheamus to nail a Brogue Kick to eliminate Finlay at 5:10. Hardy rushes in but eats a Sheamus power bomb. The heels isolate Hardy and beat him up for a while. Morrison finally gets a hot tag and overwhelms Swagger. Morrison dodges a Swagger Bomb but Miz prevents Starship Pain. Springboard kick by Morrison, but McIntyre prevents a cover. The good guys clear the ring and the ref takes a bump in the chaos. Morrison outmaneuvers Swagger and finally puts him away with Starship Pain at 12:04. Miz blindsides his former partner and takes control. Benjamin gets a needed tag and nearly pins Miz with a roll-up. Benjamin springboards off the turnbuckles with a cross body. Benjamin nearly puts Miz away with some suplexes. Sheamus assists, allowing Miz to hit the Skull Crushing Finale to eliminate Shelton at 14:55. Hardy rushes in but soon has to fight out of the heel corner. Hardy has an uphill battle against McIntyre but delivers his patented leg drop for 2. Again, Sheamus distracts, causing Hardy to miss a moonsault. McIntyre’s DDT finishes Hardy at 17:05. Morrison is alone against Sheamus, McIntyre, and Miz! Morrison takes quite a beating as the heels keep making tags. Morrison gets a hope spot in against Miz, but Sheamus storms in. Morrison fights heroically, but he springboards into a thrust kick. The Celtic Cross finishes it at 20:49! The outcome signaled big pushes for the survivors. This was solid, yet unspectacular, ***.
Survivors: Sheamus, The Miz, and Drew McIntyre


-Thank you, National Guard. WWE supports the troops, didn’t you know?

-Kofi Kingston talks strategy with his teammates. Christian teases feeling uncomfortable that he’s the only white boy on the team, but actually he’s the only guy from ECW. It was all just a misunderstanding, they must have thought he was different as the only Canadian. Everyone has a good chuckle at this. Christian tellsR-Truth that Canadians are known for their rapping and cuts an intentionally bad rap about their team. Awkward.

Rey Mysterio vs. Batista

Batista turned heel in spectacular fashion by kicking Rey’s lily ass at Bragging Rights. Batista is blaming Rey on his lack of gold. Rey is too quick in the early going so Batista takes a break. Batista drives Rey into the apron. Rey comes back with more quick offense but Batista answers with a single hard clothesline. They exchange counters with Rey drop-kicking the face. Batista counters 619 but Rey counters the Batista Bomb. Seated senton to the floor by Rey! Mysterio unleashes a trio of 619’s! West Coast Pop and Rey channels Eddie Guerrero (to boos) and misses a frog splash. Batista takes this opportunity to wear down Rey with a combination of power moves. Rey absorbs three Batista Bombs before the referee throws the match out at 6:48. This was damn good while it lasted, **¾.
Winner: Batista

-Medics check on Rey after the match. Batista isn’t finished and chases them out with a chair. Surprisingly, Batista sits and examines Rey for a moment. Batista then delivers a spinebuster onto the chair and seems satisfied, for now. Mysterio gets rolled out on a stretcher and they linger on it for a while.

-Randy Orton sizes up his Survivor Series team, all of whom have disappointed him. William Regal isn’t ECW Champion, Dibiase and Rhodes failed to defeat DX, and CM Punk is no longer World Champion. Punk says he expects the team leader to lead and lately he’s been embarrassed by Kofi Kingston. Orton says a win will change all their situations.

Traditional Survivor Series match:
CM Punk, William Regal, Ted Dibiase, Cody Rhodes, and Randy Orton vs. Kofi Kingston, MVP, Mark Henry, ECW Champion Christian, and R-Truth

This match is coming off the heels of Kofi’s historic MSG boom drop on Orton. It looked as if Kofi was going to break out and become a top guy, but that obviously didn’t happen. Mark Henry insists on starting off against Orton. Hard to believe that only two years later, Henry would defeat Orton for the World title. Henry clears the bad guys off the apron and goes for a bear hug. The heels distract, allowing Orton to hit Henry for the RKO at 0:50. That’s okay, Henry’s luck would turn around soon enough. MVP enters but quickly gets cornered in enemy territory. Truth gets a needed tag and overwhelms CM Punk. Cody distracts, allowing Punk to hit GTS for the elimination at 3:12. Wow, these good guys are a bunch of losers. Christian squares off against Punk, but soon finds himself isolated. Christian surprises Dibiase with a sunset flip pin at 5:12. An excited Kingston storms in and goes to town on Regal. A springboard cross body misses and Cody Rhodes isolates Kofi. MVP tags himself in and drops Regal with a big boot to eliminate at 6:50. MVP counters Cody with a power slam for a close near fall. The baby faces actually try to isolate Rhodes, but he reverses Christian. MVP gets a needed tag and dominates Cody. Once again, an Orton distraction allows Cody to deliver Cross Rhodes to eliminate MVP at 10:10. Rhodes is too busy celebrating and is nearly pinned by Kofi. Christian eliminates Cody at 11:32 with the Killswitch. We’re down to Christian and Kingston vs. Orton and Punk. Orton and Christian square off, trading near falls. Punk saves Orton from being pinned after a Killswitch. The RKO eliminates Christian at 13:22, leaving Kofi all by his lonesome. Orton isn’t interested in facing Kofi and forces a tag to Punk. They start exchanging shots after a lengthy stare down, where it almost looked like Punk was going to betray Orton. They trade offense and near falls while Orton nervously watches from the floor. Kingston reverses a roll-up and pins Punk at 20:40. Orton charges into the ring and gets caught off guard by Trouble in Paradise! Kofi pins Orton at 20:46! What an upset! This signaled big things for Kingston, it’s a shame it didn’t play out. Still, the final stretch of Kofi going at it alone made this stand out, ***¼.
Survivor: Kofi Kingston

World Heavyweight Championship:
The Undertaker © vs. Chris Jericho vs. Big Show

It’s worth noting that Jericho and Show are the reigning Unified Tag Team Champions, so that doesn’t bode well for the Dead Man. Jerishow teams up against Undertaker in the early going. Jericho clotheslines Taker to the floor. Undertaker drags Jericho with him and has some luck dismantling his challengers at ringside. Jericho dodges a charging Dead Man, sending Undertaker over the barricade. The double team by Jerishow resumes. A fan tells Jericho to go back to Toronto, to which Jericho replies “I’m from Winnipeg, you idiot!” Have I ever mentioned that I love Jericho? Undertaker finds an opening after Jericho collides with the ring post. Taker sends Show into the ring post and counters Jericho’s springboard drop-kick. Jericho counters Old School and nails a superplex. The Lionsault is countered, but Jericho counters back with the Walls! Big Show breaks it up with a choke slam on Jericho. Undertaker reverses and nails a DDT on Show. All three men are down until Jericho attempts covers on both big men. Taker and Show trade shots and choke slam attempts. Jericho misses a belt shot and nails Show. Big boot on Jericho gets 2 for Undertaker. Jericho counters the Last Ride with a belt shot! Jericho attempts a Tombstone of his own but it’s stopped by Big Show! Jericho and Show stop each other from winning and Show dispatches his partner with a knockout punch. Show goes for the choke slam but it’s countered into Hell’s Gate! Show taps at 13:35! This was insanely good considering Undertaker’s condition at the time, ***.
Winner and still World Heavyweight Champion: The Undertaker

-Josh Mathews interviews The MizSheamus, and Drew McIntyre backstage. Miz says this was just a taste of what he’s capable of. He proved that he’s not only a better wrestler than John Morrison, but he’s a better leader too. McIntyre says he just showed them why Vince McMahon endorsed him. Sheamus says his only regret was that tonight was too easy. Since eliminating Jamie Noble from the WWE, he’s been having a hard time finding competition. Luckily for Sheamus, he’d be facing none other than John Cena at the next pay-per-view.

Traditional Survivor Series match:
Women’s Champion Michelle McCool, Layla, Beth Phoenix, Jillian Hall, and Alicia Fox vs. Divas Champion Melina, Mickie James, Eve Torres, Gail Kim, and Kelly Kelly

Gawd, I hope this is quick. Kelly starts off against Layla. Those two have come a long way since their -* matches on ECW, now they can hit ½* or so. Kelly botches her leg drop but pins Layla at 1:15. Michelle storms in but a fresh Gail Kim meets her. Gail shows Michelle how it’s done but unfortunately gets eliminated at 2:04 with a Styles Clash. Eve, who hadn’t been around very long, rushes in and quickly gets isolated. Eve botches a drop-kick, but Jillian covers nicely for her. Jillian’s hand spring elbow is blocked and Eve botches a sunset slip to eliminate Jillian at 3:35. Beth gets Eve out of here with the Glam Slam at 3:50. Beth repeats on Kelly and sends her packing at 4:07. Mickie holds her own and pins Beth with a crucifix at 4:44. Beth is a sore loser and plants Mickie before heading out. This allows Alicia Fox to take control briefly. Mickie counters a suplex with a chancery but gets rammed into the turnbuckles. Mickie dives into a Thesz Press to eliminate Alicia at 6:25. Michelle is alone against Mickie and Melina. McCool works over Mickie for a while, preventing a tag. The writing is on the wall when Melina gets a hot tag and cleans house on Michelle. Actually, Michelle makes a comeback, but Melina counters with a sunset flip power bomb to gain the win at 10:37. This started out rough but developed into a perfectly good divas match, *¼.
Survivors: Melina and Mickie James

-Batista is heading out for the evening when he’s approached by Todd Grisham. Batista says that he felt embarrassed for Rey Mysterio tonight. What a jerk.

WWE Championship:
John Cena © vs. Triple H vs. Shawn Michaels

I could be wrong, but I think this was the last time that either Michaels or Triple H competed for the WWE title on TV or PPV. The bell rings and Shawn Michaels immediately nails Triple H with Sweet Chin Music. Cena is stunned and just kind of stands there before mixing it up with HBK. Cena goes for the Attitude Adjustment but it’s countered into a DDT. Michaels begins working over Cena’s knee. The fight spills to ringside and HBK clears the announce table for some shenanigans. Triple H returns just in time to save Michaels from an Attitude Adjustment, only to serve HBK a spinebuster through the table! Now it’s Triple H’s turn to beat up Cena for a while. Cena comes back with his usual bag of tricks, including the Five Knuckle Shuffle. Michaels returns to save Triple H from the AA and it looks as through it’s Cena’s turn for a breather. HBK and HHH tear into each other, with Triple H winning the exchange with a spinebuster. The Pedigree is countered! Michaels goes to the top but Cena knocks him off his feet. Cena’s flying leg drop misses The Game, so he pays for it with a flying elbow from Michaels. Cena tosses HBK and locks Triple H into the STF. HBK breaks the STF with a crossface on Cena, but it’s countered into another STF. Michaels escapes and hits Sweet Chin Music on both opponents! Triple H fell on top of Cena for a silly near fall. Attitude Adjustment on Triple H, but Cena is too exhausted to cover. Cena and Michaels crawl into a cover but Triple H kicks out! We’re in the home stretch as all three men look for their finisher. Cena drops Michaels onto Triple H with the Attitude Adjustment and pins HHH at 21:08. This was a highly entertaining and crisp main event. Cena wins in a suitably epic fashion, ****.Winner and still WWE Champion: John Cena


Final Thoughts: This is a rather historically significant show in that Sheamus arrived on the pay-per-view scene and Triple H and Shawn Michaels had their last hurrahs as WWE title challengers (until Triple H won the Royal Rumble in 2016, at least). It was nice to see the company interested in building some new stars, as Miz, Sheamus, and McIntyre left this event looking strong. This was a generally good card with a great main event which warrants a Thumbs Up.

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