Sunday, September 18, 2016

Retro Rowe: ROH on HDNet

Ring of Honor on HDNet- April 18, 2009
by SamoaRowe

-Our hosts are Mike Hogewood and Dave Prazak. They hype tonight’s main event which will be Brent Albright vs. Claudio Castagnoli.

-Smack talk with Jimmy Jacobs! He calls Necro Butcher a dumb animal who was too stupid to know what the Age of the Fall were fighting for. Necro Butcher responds in a separate video, threatening to use a staple gun on his former running mate.

Jimmy Jacobs vs. Necro Butcher
A graphic declares that Jacobs is “violent and evil.” Necro Butcher’s graphic reminds us that he had a big role in The Wrestler (now available on DVD). The referee has to pry the staple gun from Butcher’s hands, allowing Jacobs to jump him on the opening bell. Jacobs targets the head. Irish whip and backdrop by Butcher. Jacobs hides behind the referee for a breather. Jacobs offers a handshake, which Necro Butcher accepts as a means to cheap shot. Jacobs is stomped into the corner and gets driven into the turnbuckles. Butcher tosses Jacobs to ringside. Necro Butcher drives the ring bell into the gut, which surprisingly doesn’t draw a DQ. Necro Butcher chokes with a shirt and uses it to toss Jacobs across the floor. Necro Butcher tries a power bomb through a table, but Jacobs blocks and drops him to the floor. Jacobs pulls a plastic bag from his pants and tries to suffocate Necro Butcher! Jacobs seats Necro in a chair and dives onto him over the ropes! That spot never gets old. Back to the ring, Jacobs targets the head. Second rope elbow drop by Jacobs (who mocks Randy the Ram’s mannerisms). Necro Butcher counters a spear with a closed fist to the head. Chokeslam by Butcher and a Tiger Driver, but no cover attempt. Necro Butcher grabs the staple gun, but Brodie Lee runs in for the save. The match is thrown out at 5:49. Fun garbage match, more violent than what we usually see on televised wrestling in 2009, **.
Winner by DQ: Necro Butcher


-Necro Butcher manages to chase Jacobs and Lee out of the ring.

-Kyle Durden is standing by with Brent Albright and they talk about Albright’s personal vendetta against Claudio Castagnoli. Albright says they have fought all over the country but tonight they get to show the whole world how much they hate each other. Albright gives Castagnoli two choices: get out or tap out.

-Smack talk: Sami Callihan puts himself over as the “new horror” of Ring of Honor. He’s the man from the last house on the left, so who’s going to argue with that? Kingston appears and puts himself over as God’s middle child.

Sami Callihan vs. Eddie Kingston
The crowd is massively behind Kingston. They trade shoulder blocks but Kingston finds it more effective to slap. Callihan nails a takedown and goes for the koji clutch. Rope break by Kingston, who shoves and talks some smack. Callihan slaps back and nails some chops. Head butt by Kingston and an overhead belly to belly suplex. Callihan trips Kingston into the turnbuckles. They trade hard chops. Kingston gets the upper hand with more open hand strikes. Callihan corners Kingston and chokes. They trade more hard strikes but Callihan rakes the face. Callihan goes after the eyes and is relentless with the stiff shots. Kingston returns with a clothesline. More chopping by Callihan but Kingston nails a vicious head butt. Body slam by Kingston gets 2. Callihan has been busted open but goes for the waist. Big boot by Callihan who drives Kingston to the mat for another 2 count. Back drop driver by Kingston and a spin back chop to the head finishes things at 6:04. I’m not sure what all the fuss about Kingston is. The match had no flow, just lots of hard shots. Callihan has potential, I hope he sticks around, *¼.
Winner: Eddie Kingston

-Kyle Durden is backstage with Claudio Castagnoli and they talk about Albright. Claudio makes fun of Durden’s outfit. Claudio is European and thus he knows all there is to know about fashion.

-Hogewood and Prazak talk to the new ROH Champion, Jerry Lynn! He says it feels great to be the champ and he looks forward to surprising the cynics.

-Smack talk: Bobby Dempsey says he’s not a fat whipping boy and he’s going to make a statement tonight.

Bobby Dempsey vs. Orange Cassidy
Cassidy unleashes a flurry of shots as the bell rings. Dempsey doesn’t like this and nails a body block. The Death Valley Driver finishes Cassidy at 0:25. This is the right way to use Dempsey at this point, ¼*.
Winner: Bobby Dempsey

-Buzz Words with Erick Stevens. Powerful, aggressive, intense, unstoppable, and a runaway train are the words he’d use to describe himself. We see numerous shots of Stevens destroying people. -Smack talk withCheech and Cloudy. They might not be the biggest guys in the fight but that’s not what it’s all about. Or so they say. Rhett Titus and Kenny King put themselves over as the wave of the future. The thrust is a must says Titus. So yeah, Titus is 1997 Shawn Michaels.

Cheech and Cloudy vs. Rhett Titus and Kenny King
The crowd chants “You’re a virgin” at Titus. King starts off against Cheech, who looks for a hammerlock. King reverses, but Cheech cartwheels into a counter. Titus tags but runs into an arm bar. Titus fights out and King invades for a double team. Cloudy looks for a save. Cloudy and Cheech hit stereo mounted turnbuckle punches and high five while hitting bulldogs. Cloudy becomes the face in peril after eating a knee lift to the face. King misses a springboard leg drop, allowing Cloudy to attempt a sunset flip pin. Cheech gets the hot tag and cleans house. Cheech cartwheels on the ropes to dodge King’s attack and gets a near fall! Cheech and Cloudy plant King. Cloudy dives off Cheech’s shoulders for a splash, but can’t get the pin. Cheech drops Titus on the ropes for a 619 variation. Cheech goes high risk but King pushes him off into the barricade. Double team blockbuster finishes Cloudy at 6:02. Short, but highly entertaining, **½.
Winners: Rhett Titus and Kenny King

Claudio Castagnoli vs. Brent Albright
Castagnoli attacks Albright from behind during his entrance. They brawl at ringside. They finally hit the ring and the match officially begins. Swinging backbreaker by Albright. Claudio goes for the face. They exchange chops. First uppercut from Claudio, but he runs into a monkey flip. Clothesline to the floor by Albright is followed by a dive. Claudio catches Albright in mid-air and slams him into the barricade! Holy crap! Back to the ring, Claudio works a chinlock. Clothesline by Claudio gets 2. Hard Irish whip by Claudio and a suplex. Claudio attacks the eye again but only gets 1 on a pin. Albright manages to hit an overhead belly to belly suplex at ringside, due to Claudio being distracted by the fans. Claudio retains the upper hand, going back to a chinlock in the ring. Albright fights out and nails a urinagi. Exploder suplex by Albright and an overhead suplex. Claudio fights back with an uppercut but runs into a power slam for 2. Albright plants him for 2. Claudio nails a springboard European uppercut but is slow to make a cover. Big swing by Castagnoli! Albright blocks an uppercut with a backslide. Big boot by Claudio gains a couple of near falls. Albright locks in a crossface! Albright reapplies a crowbar, but Castagnoli gets the ropes. Series of shoulder thrusts by Claudio. Albright continues brawling while sitting on the top. Claudio thumbs the eyes but Albright hits the flying cross body. Claudio blocks a suplex but Albright blocks an uppercut. Rope assisted victory roll finishes Albright at 12:08. Both men wore their working boots and were determined to impress, ***.
Winner: Claudio Castagnoli

Final Thoughts: As far as one hour wrestling shows go, this is among the best I’ve ever seen. I’m impressed how many matches they were able to include without making things feel rushed. At this point, the program seems to be all about showcasing the wrestling, as there aren’t any concrete angles to follow, other than “Albright and Castagnoli have been feuding since January.” The show won’t please everyone, particularly those who are used to fast forwarding through matches to get to backstage skits and in-ring confrontation promos, but I personally enjoyed this. Ring of Honor on HDNet is an easy show to sit through, so go check it out!

Thumbs up.

Ring of Honor on HDNet- April 25, 2009
by SamoaRowe

-Mike Hogewood and Dave Prazak are our hosts for the evening. They pimp tonight’s Bryan Danielson/Tyler Black main event.

-Smack talk with “The Littlest Lumberjack” Grizzly Redwood and Andy Ridge. They are going to chop their competition down to size. Their opponents, The Dark City Fight Club, state they will be the baddest tag team in ROH. They dare anyone to stop them.

Grizzly Redwood and Andy “Right Leg” Ridge vs. The Dark City Fight Club
The Dark City Fight Club consist of Kory Chavis and Jon Davis. They tower over Redwood and Ridge. Davis starts against Ridge, aggressively cutting him down to size. Chavis tags and they double team poor Ridge in the corner. Vicious overhead suplex by Chavis. Davis tags and they nail a double team ace crusher. Redwood tags and ducks some clotheslines. Redwood’s armdrag attempt is violently countered. The DCFC keep the tags coming, isolating Redwood from his partner. Chavis knocks Ridge off the apron but misses a head of steam on Redwood. The lumberjack tries to build momentum, but Davis catches him off guard with a POUNCE! Period! Ridge tags and eats a sit out powerbomb/neckbreaker combination for the loss at 4:30. This was an extended squash, but was an effective showcase for the DCFC, *¼.
Winners: The Dark City Fight Club

-Kyle Durden is backstage with “American Dragon” Bryan Danielson. They talk about Tyler Black. Tonight, Danielson is going to find out if Black is for real or not.

-Nigel McGuinness is in the ring for his match, but cuts a promo against the fans first. Despite all of his injures and sacrifices, Nigel still doesn’t have the respect of the wankers (fans). He invites the fans to kiss his beautiful, British ass (his words, not mine).

Nigel McGuinness vs. “Sugarfoot” Alex Payne
Immediate drop-kicks by Payne. Head butt by Nigel, but Payne scores a second rope bulldog. Nigel blocks a whip and plants Payne on the mat. Nigel hoists Payne up by the arm for a suplex. Hard arm drag by Nigel, who continues to target the arm. Payne gets a 2 on a pinning predicament. Hard lariat by Nigel and the London Dungeon finishes Payne at 3:19. Squashtastic, ¾*.
Winner: Nigel McGuinness

-Kyle Durden is backstage with Tyler Black. Durden puts Black over as one of the fastest rising stars in the company. Black says he grew up watching and idolizing Danielson and he believes he is the best wrestler in the world. He’s going to prove that he has what it takes to hang with the best.

-Smack talk with Chris Hero, Eddie Edwards, and Larry Sweeney. Hero is a lion, Edwards is a wolf. And you shouldn’t poke either. I miss funny Chris Hero. The Briscoes and Kevin Steen don’t like each other, but they have a common enemy in Sweet n’ Sour Inc.

Eddie Edwards and Chris Hero (with Larry Sweeney and Sara Del Rey) vs. Kevin Steen and Jay Briscoe
Hero and Edwards sneak attack before the bell rings. Steen fights off both men and Briscoe clotheslines Hero to the floor. Steen and Edwards become the legal men. Steen pummels Edwards into the corner. Hero tries to interrupt but gets chopped off the apron. Jay tags and keeps up the assault on Edwards. Cover by Jay is broken by Hero. Steen tags but Edwards knocks him off and tags Hero. Jay tags and knocks Hero around the ring. Cover by Jay gets 2. Sweeney grabs the leg, allowing Hero to nail a boot to the face, picking up the advantage. Mark Briscoe runs in to save Jay from cheap shots from Sweeney and Del Rey. Back to the ring, Hero is in control. Sweet n’ Sour keep making tags, isolating Jay. Roaring elbow by Hero only gets 2. The tags keep coming. Jay legsweeps Edwards right into the groin of Hero. Steen gets the hot tag and cleans house. Cannonball on Hero by Steen sets up the moonsault for only 2.5. Hero blocks the package piledriver and nails the rolling elbow for 2.5. Blind tag by Edwards allows him to hit a Codebreaker off the ropes. Hero nails the back of the head, but Edwards only gets 2.9 on the cover. Combination of chops and elbows on Steen. Jay pulls out Hero, leaving Edwards to get stuck in Steen’s sharpshooter. Sweeney distracts, allowing Edwards to attack the back of the head. Jay dives onto Hero at ringside. Steen nails the package piledriver on Edwards for the win at 9:58. Very enjoyable formula tag that did a lot of little things right, ***.
Winners: Kevin Steen and Jay Briscoe

Tyler Black vs. “American Dragon” Bryan Danielson
Audible “You’re going to get your fucking head kicked in” chants can’t be a good thing, eh? Black scores the first arm drag. Test of strength, with Black getting the advantage. Black looks for a pin but Danielson gets a bridge. Monkey flip counter by Danielson and we have a stalemate. Danielson targets the legs in creative fashion. Black counters, but Dragon gets the ropes. Headlock by Black and a shoulder tackle. Scoop slam but Black misses a stomp. Drop toe hold by Danielson, who stretches Black in half. Black gets to the ropes, but Danielson utilizes the five count. Dragon outmaneuvers leading to a straight shove from Black. Headscissors takedown by Black gets 2. Black works the arm. Danielson rolls into a counter but Black snapmares for a stomp to the jaw. Cover by Black gets 2. Dragon responds with a couple of uppercuts. Danielson kicks the back and locks on a Mexican Surfboard, raking the face first to weaken Black. This transitions into a punishing dragon sleeper. Series of kicks to the chest by Danielson gets 2. Dragon works on the leg. Black rolls up Dragon for 2. Danielson plants Black and knees the midsection. Hard slaps to the face by Danielson, but Black nails a back drop and clothesline. They take each other down, with Black rolling to ringside for a breather. Suicide dive by Danielson, whose back hits the barricade! Back to the ring, Dragon goes high risk and Black drop-kicks him in mid-air! Enziguri by Black, followed by a top rope hurricarana. Danielson heads to ringside, and Black dives over the ropes, wiping them both out. Back to the ring, Black hits a springboard clothesline. Danielson blocks God’s Last Gift, spins over Black, and applies an ankle lock. Black gets the ropes! Suplex by Dragon, but Black lands on his feet. Danielson rolls him up for 2 and drop-kicks the injured leg. Danielson runs into a slam. Dragon blocks the super kick, reapplying the ankle lock. German suplex by Dragon gets 2.5. Danielson is pissed and slaps the face. Belly to back superplex by Dragon is reversed in mid-air! A slug fest erupts. Stiff kick to the head by Black and a slam gets 2.5. We get a one minute warning. Black misses the Phoenix Splash and eats a knee to the head. Triangle choke by Dragon! Black lifts up Danielson and slams him into the turnbuckles! The bell rings and it looks like we have a time limit draw at 20:00. This was simply outstanding as both men pulled out all the stops to put on an exciting contest, ****¼.
No Contest

-Danielson offers a handshake and Black accepts.

-Next week: Ric Flair makes his ROH television debut! Also, Austin Aries vs. Roderick Strong.

Final Thoughts: I was getting worried after a couple of squashes opened the show, but it turned out I had nothing to fear. That main event blew away anything I’ve seen on a wrestling television show in ages. This show still isn’t likely to appeal to everyone due to the work-rate focused format, with very little angle development, but it’s hard to complain when the wrestling is as good as it is. I highly recommend checking out the Black/Danielson match, as I’m adding it to my MOTYC list.

Big thumbs up.

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