Saturday, December 10, 2016

WWF Raw - 11/1/99

WWF Monday Night Raw
November 1st 1999

-From Washington D.C. Jim Ross and Jerry Lawler are calling the action.

-The Rock, sore from a recent abduction at the hands of D-Generation X, starts the show with an in-ring promo. He's looking forward to checking Steve Austin and Triple H back into the Smackdown Hotel at Survivor Series and sings for the crowd. Rock shifts his attention to the "blemish on his buttocks more popularly known as Road Dogg" and calls him out for a match.

The Rock vs. Road Dogg
Rock meets Dogg in the aisle and directs him to the ring. Dogg dry-humps Rock and gets clotheslined to ringside for the insult. Road Dogg flees to the back, where Rock foolishly walks into a DX ambush. The match is called off at about 1:00. A pack of referees and Mr. McMahon run in to restore order, but Rock looks finished.
Winner via DQ: The Rock



-Mr. McMahon admonishes DX backstage. Triple H stands up to Vince, declaring this will be another D-X night.

-Michael Cole is waiting to interview Big Show, who is sitting on a doctor's table and getting his ankle looked at. Show feels justified about trapping Boss Man and Albert in a car and pushing a dumpster onto them, though he's a little scared that he didn't care if they got seriously hurt. The interview ends abruptly when Boss Man throws in a smoke grenade and locks the door. Boss Man and Albert put on gas masks and put the boots to Big Show.

Edge and Christian and The Hardy Boyz (with Terri Runnels) vs. Too Cool and WWF Tag Team Champions Crash and Hardcore Holly
Too Cool are fresh off of being reintroduced as flashy, obnoxious heels, and are thrown right into the mix. The Holly Cousins are enjoying their epic (short) title reign as alleged "super heavyweights." Scott Taylor gets double teamed by the odd combination of Christian and Jeff Hardy, but Brian Christopher grabs Matt Hardy by the ankle to shift the momentum. Matt suffers a long beating, including an unpolished rendition of Scotty's "worm." Matt counters a Crash ax handle with a groin kick and makes the hot tag to Edge. The match quickly breaks down, and the camera misses Jeff hitting a running swanton over the ropes to ringside. Edge steals a quick pinfall on someone at 5:02. This was short and chaotic, pretty typical for the era.
Winners: Edge and Christian and the Hardy Boyz

-Tori confronts X-Pac about his recent behavior, but he's completely shameless and dares her to do something about it.

-Mankind is autographing a stack of copies of his book while Al Snow reads all the cheap shots about him out loud. Snow is a good sport, and a much, MUCH better friend than The Rock.

-Hardcore Champion Big Boss Man and Prince Albert haul a shopping cart full of weapons to the ring. They have a bone to pick with Al Snow after he set them up for a Big Show trap on Smackdown and call him out. Boss Man has free time, seeing as Big Show is in the hospital, sharing a respirator with his dying father. Snow wants to fight Boss Man and "Fuzzy Wuzzy" Albert, and brings out his pal, Mankind!

Hardcore Match:
Big Boss Man and Prince Albert vs. Al Snow and Mankind
The brawl starts in the aisle and it doesn't take long for Snow to check out the shopping card. Mankind serves concussions with a baking pan. The match is interrupted by footage of Val Venis dumping Mankind's book collection into a trash can. Meanwhile, Boss Man nails Foley in the groin with a kendo stick. Prince Albert armors himself with a chair and drives into Snow and Foley in the turnbuckles. Mankind throws powder into Boss Man's eyes, causing him to slam his own partner. Snow unpacks his bowling ball and hits a perfect strike between Boss Man's legs. Albert eats Mr. Socko and gets tossed through a table and pinned by Snow at 4:06. Just a stupid good time.
Winners: Al Snow and Mankind

-The cameras find Val Venis hauling Foley's books into the parking garage and starting a bonfire. Mankind charges from the ring with a fire extinguisher but is too late to do anything about it.

-Chyna and Ms. Kitty come to the ring wearing matching "Master" and "Slave" t-shirts. Chyna is mad at Stevie Richards for posing as her last week and destroying her property, and claims that Chris Jericho is more of a woman than she is. Maybe the best Chyna promo ever? They're joined by Stevie Richards posing as Chris Jericho.

Intercontinental Champion Chyna (with Ms. Kitty) vs. Stevie Richards 
Chyna wastes no time stomping and choking the life out of Richards. Stevie connects with a shoulder block but spends too much time taunting and gets caught by a low blow from behind. Pedigree ends this one at 1:00. SQUASH!
Winner: Chyna

-Immediately after the match, Chris Jericho runs in and attacks Chyna from behind, locking on the Walls of Jericho, sending a clear message heading into their Survivor Series match.

-D-X have a huddle backstage, which means something terrible is about to happen.

-Stone Cold Steve Austin looks pensive in his locker room. After a break, he storms to the ring and rants and raves about Triple H treating the WWF title match at Survivor Series like a game and The Rock doing a bad Elvis impression. He's ready to stick his boot up Billy Gunn's rear.

Steve Austin vs. Billy Gunn
Austin opens a can of whoop-ass and clotheslines Gunn to the floor. Gunn counters Austin's skull into the barricade, but Austin reverses for a back drop on the concrete. Austin's eyebrow is busted open and Gunn thumbs the eye to gain the upper hand. The referee catches Gunn using the ropes in a loooong chin-lock spot, and Austin unleashes his comeback. Gunn blocks the Stunner  but misses a charge into the corner and the Stunner connects! Road Dogg and X-Pac charge in for the DQ finish as Austin fends them off with a chair. Austin is in the cusp of major neck surgery, so this wasn't particularly good, but had enough bells and whistles to protect him.
Winner via DQ: Steve Austin

Test (with Stephanie McMahon) vs. Val Venis
Steph joins commentary, happily ready to watch her man kick Val Venis' "butt." Venis takes a moment to cut a rude promo directed towards Stephanie, prompting Test to aggressively attack from behind. Venis groins Test with the top rope, but Test shakes it off and continues his hot streak. Venis reverses a whip into the ring steps, seemingly injuring Test's shoulder in the process. Lawler tries to talk Stephanie out of marriage while Test eats a fisherman suplex. Test desperately comes back with a gut wrench power bomb. Val hits a bulldog when Mankind runs in to attack him for the DQ at 5:00. The action was fine, but Stephanie on commentary was pretty brutal.
Winner via DQ: Val Venis

-Stephanie cuts a short, awkward promo about how much she loves Test and proposes! Test accepts, and you all know where this is heading.

-Triple H interrupts the McMahon family celebrating Stephanie's engagement. Vince tells him to buzz off, but HHH restates his promise to make this a D-X night.

Kane vs. X-Pac
X-Pac riles up Kane by name-calling Tori and claiming that Kane has no genitals. Kane immediately with a chokeslam but the rest of the D-X army runs in for the ambush and DQ at 0:15. Triple H nails a Pedigree and helps set Kane up for X-Pac's Bronco Buster. Just an angle, but good way to put heat on D-X and make Kane look sympathetic.
Winner via DQ: Kane

-The McMahons and D-X are arguing backstage when Kane ambushes X-Pac before getting hauled away. Vince is pissed and orders Triple H to defend the WWF title tonight. Shane steps in and lands some punches on Triple H before getting separated as well. Looks like Shane is getting the title shot, because nepotism rules!

-The Rock is still icing his hurt elbow and looks like he's fit to be tied.

The Dudley Boyz vs. The Headbangers
The Headbangers are wearing tie dyed Dudley shirts, sparking a brawl in the aisle. This formula has been a bit overplayed lately. Bubba survives a double team and catches Mosh in a back suplex. D-Von delivers the diving head-butt to Mosh's lower regions. Mosh gets trapped in Dudleyville for a while a "boring" chant breaks out. Thrasher gets the sorriest excuse of a hot tag I've ever seen and Bubba cuts him off with a clothesline. Mosh trips D-Von to prevent a 3D, and Thrasher DDT's Bubba for the win at 4:28. Bad match, but this was a death slot anyways.
Winners: The Headbangers

-The Mean Street Posse runs in and beats up the Headbangers. Because why not.

-Mr. McMahon serves as guest ring announcer for the main event, a good excuse for him to keep an eye on Triple H. Vince stacks the deck against The Game furthermore, by putting Steve Austin on commentary, making Kane the guest enforcer, and assigning The Rock as guest timekeeper. The fans just love all of this.

WWF Championship:
Triple H (c) (with D-Generation X) vs. Shane McMahon
Shane sprints to the ring and takes the fight to the champ, knocking him down with a clothesline. Triple H takes far too many shots before countering with a spinebuster. Triple H goes to work dismantling Shane while Austin threatens Jerry Lawler on commentary. Shane gets away with a low blow and drops Triple H head-first on the turnbuckle, but X-Pac trips him up. Kane dumps X-Pac over the guard rail and they disappear into the crowd. Triple H wastes too much time gloating and Shane clotheslines him off the barricade. Shane hits a Pedigree for a ridiculously close nearfall. Road Dogg pulls Shane out for a pump handle slam, but gets disposed of by The Rock. Shane recovers to hit Triple H with a neckbreaker on the ropes. Austin leaves commentary to remove Billy Gunn, but Triple H drops Shane with a Pedigree. Austin storms back for a Stunner on Triple H, but Shane is too hurt for a cover. Mr. McMahon brings the WWF title into the ring and misses a wild shot and clocks his own son. Triple H capitalizes and pins Shane at 7:34. I still have a soft spot for this kind of overbooked nonsense.
Winner and still WWF Champion: Triple H

-The WWE Network version has footage from after the broadcast of Steve Austin returning to fight Triple H some more.

Final Thoughts: This felt really long, especially for a good, old-fashioned two hour version of Raw. They were building up a lot of boring, pointless feuds for Survivor Series, and it dragged this down quite a lot. The main storyline with D-X vs. everybody is a lot of fun though and still worth checking out. Thumbs in the Middle.


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