Saturday, December 12, 2015

Retro Rowe: WWF Summerslam 2000

WWF SummerSlam 2000

August 27, 2000

-From Raleigh, NC. Our hosts are Jim Ross and Jerry Lawler.

Right to Censor (The Goodfather, Bull Buchanan, and Steven Richards) vs. Rikishi and Too Cool (Scotty 2 Hotty and Grandmaster Sexay) (with the Hos)

Tool Cool have adopted he hos (including the future Victoria) in light of the Godfather abandoning them. Scotty 2 Hotty has a hot start against Buchanan, who eats a Too Cool double suplex. GMS dumps Goodfather to ringside, where he shoves down the hos! HOW DARE HE DISRESPECT THE HOS! Right to Censor takes control and trap GMS in their corner for a short while. Rikishi gets a hot tag (three and a half minutes in) and cleans house on RTC. Rikishi and Too Cool pile RTC up for butt splashes in the corner, and the match breaks down. Scotty looks for the Worm on the Goodfather, but Richards ambushes with the Stevie Kick for the win at 5:11. Holy short match! Still, emotions were running high in this one, *¾.
Winners: Right to Censor


-Earlier, Kurt Angle arrived at the arena and blows off Jonathan Coachman. Later on, Coach has similar luck trying to get a word in with Stephanie McMahon-Helmsley. Even later, Kurt Angle finds Stephanie’s locker room and invites himself in. Angle has been left hanging ever since he stole a kiss from Stephanie on Smackdown.

-Michael Cole interviews Hardcore Champion Shane McMahon about the situation with Stephanie. Shane says he supports her no matter what, but has to run when Steve Blackman shows up.

Road Dogg vs. X-Pac

DX implodes yet again. The fans chant “X-Pac sucks” as Road Dogg kicks him square in the ass to send him to the floor. Road Dogg blocks a roundhouse kick and nails a clothesline. X-Pac connects with some kicks to set up the Bronco Buster, but Road Dogg flees the ring. X-Pac settles for the dreaded CHINLOCK! Reverse heel kick by X-Pac leads to a successful Bronco Buster. Road Dogg comes back with jabs and the shake, rattle and roll knee drop. They block each other’s finishers but X-Pac low blows and hits the X-Factor for the win at 4:40. This got about as much time as it deserved, *¼.
Winner: X-Pac

-X-Pac grabs a mic and calls for a truce now that they’ve established that he’s better. Road Dogg isn’t buying and drops X-Pac with a pump handle slam (with some homophobic imagery tossed in).

-Eddie Guerrero assures Chyna that he’ll be happy for her if she wins the Intercontinental Championship in their tag match. -Trish Stratus questions Val Venis about whether he’d rather see her or Chyna in a centerfold. Val doesn’t care, he just wants to hold on to his Intercontinental title. Trish is offended, as Val only has the title because of her.

Intercontinental Championship:
Val Venis © and Trish Stratus vs. Eddie Guerrero and Chyna

Val can lose the title if Trish gets pinned, so this is a rather unfair situation to say the least. The men kick things off with a slugfest. They both get their shots in, but Val is the first to build some steam. Chyna interferes with a clothesline and helps Eddie flapjack Venis. Chyna overpowers Val, but Trish interferes, giving control back to Venis. I find it kind of funny here that Venis played a porn star, and Chyna would go on to become one for real. Eddie gets a hot tag of sorts and flusters Venis with rapid attacks. They both go down after a collision and Trish tags for a near fall on Eddie. Chyna tags and has her way with Trish. Val interferes by pulling the hair, but Eddie neutralizes him. Chyna press slams Trish for the win and title at 7:12. Nothing really wrong with this one, especially since it set up Eddie winning the IC title soon after. However, it was just a TV level match, **.
Winner and new Intercontinental Champion: Chyna

-Val is fuming over the loss and menaces poor Trish. Meanwhile, Eddie straps the Intercontinental title around Chyna.

-Some random lady questions Stephanie about Kurt Angle’s kissing prowess. Steph admits that Kurt is a good kisser.

Tazz vs. Jerry Lawler

If you were expecting a big Tazz push but were then disappointed when he feuded with the commentators, you’re not alone. Tazz amusingly comes out pretending to be blind, and Lawler aggressively takes the fight to him. Lawler misses a flying fist, allowing Tazz to take control, yelling insults at J.R. along the way. Tazz misses a somersault senton, and Lawler pulls down the straps. Lawler connects with the piledriver, but Tazz no-sells and shoves King into referee Teddy Long. Tazz traps King in the Tazzmission but J.R. smashes his candy jar over Tazz’s head! The ref wakes up and Lawler pins Tazz at 4:19. Not much of a match, just a chance for us to appreciate how adorable Lawler and Ross are, *.
Winner: Jerry Lawler

-Lillian Garcia tries to interview Shane McMahon about the Stephanie situation, but Steve Blackman chases him away with a can full of weapons.

Hardcore Championship:
Shane McMahon © vs. Steve Blackman

Blackman tosses a kendo stick at Shane and dares him to enter the ring. Shane takes a swing but Blackman easily blocks and chases his prey into the crowd. Back to the ring, Blackman dismantles Shane with trash can lid shots. Blackman wraps a strap around Shane’s neck and pulls him off the turnbuckles. Test and Albert run in to save their fearless leader. Blackman gets beaten down by the henchmen for a bit, but still shows signs of life. They drag Blackman over to the production area beside the stage. Test tries to crush Blackman with a speaker, but Blackman gets his hands on a kendo stick and dismantles T&A. Shane tries to escape by climbing the Summerslam set! Blackman pursues up the scaffolding and whacks him with the kendo stick until Shane falls off for a scary stunt bump! Blackman leaps off for a big time elbow drop for the win at 10:05! This was a complete guilty pleasure, **¾.
Winner and new Hardcore Champion: Steve Blackman

-Stephanie freaks out over what happened to her brother and Kurt Angle comes in to calm her down with a hug. Mick Foley catches them in the act and announces that Shane landed on his kisser.

2/3 Falls:
Chris Jericho vs. Chris Benoit

Jericho and Benoit have been rewarded for their terrific main event level performances at Fully Loaded by feuding with one another again, minus the IC on the line. Now, they’re just trying to sell us on the HATRED between these two. The opening brawl results in Jericho getting flap jacked into the ring post. Jericho catapults Benoit into the turnbuckles and nails a release German suplex. Benoit counters with a shoulder breaker and manages to counter the Lionsault. Jericho taps to the Crossface at 3:11! The second fall begins with Benoit attempting to keep the Crossface locked on. Jericho gets the ropes, but Benoit continues to pick him apart. Jericho takes some punishment but counters a German with the Walls! Benoit taps to save himself at 8:36! The third fall begins with Jericho trying to maintain his momentum with a backbreaker. Flying elbow shot by Jericho gets a near fall. Benoit comes back with a Full Nelson suplex. Jericho catches Benoit on the top rope with a hurricanrana! Jericho seems to injure his own shoulder with the Lionsault and Benoit grabs the ropes for leverage to score the pinfall at 13:17. Great work-rate here, unfortunately it all felt kind of pointless in the grand scheme of things, ***¼.
Winner: Chris Benoit

-Triple H arrives at the arena and he doesn’t look happy.

WWF Tag Team Championship (Tables, Ladders, and Chairs):
Edge and Christian © vs. Matt and Jeff Hardy vs. Bubba Ray and D-Von Dudley

The opening scuffle has all three teams brawling at once and utilizing chairs into their trademarks spots. Edge gets a ladder but Bubba uses it against him. Two ladders get set up and Edge sweeps D-Von and Matt off of them. Bubba scores the Bubba Bomb on Christian off the ladders! Matt takes an unfortunate bump onto awkwardly placed ladders and might be seriously hurt. Bodies go flying until the Dudleyz are the last team standing, and Edge suffers the “Wassup” head butt off a ladder. It’s time for D-Von to get the tables! Christian goes through a table with the 3D! The Dudleyz stack a pile of tables at ringside, which should come in handy later. Edge smashes the Dudleyz with a chair, but the Hardyz take him out with dives off the ladder! Edge gets sandwiched in a ladder and Matt tosses Christian onto him! Meanwhile, Jeff swantons off the top of a huge ladder but ends up putting himself through a table. Bubba is the only one up and climbs, but Edge and Christian tip the ladder over and he crashes through the stack of tables on the floor! Edge and Christian are about to win when Lita runs in and tips the ladder and they both get crotched on the ropes. Matt climbs, but D-Von tips him backwards and he crashes through another pile of tables. Edge spears Lita (heh) to take her out of the equation. Jeff and D-Von both grab titles, but the ladder is pulled out from under them. D-Von falls, but Edge and Christian have to whack Jeff with the ladder. Edge and Christian retrieve the gold at 14:46! This was completely insane. They would top themselves later on, but this is an easy ****½.
Winners and still WWF Tag Team Champions: Edge and Christian

-Triple H demands an explanation from Stephanie about the kiss with Angle on Smackdown. Stephanie is now changing her tune to “Kurt took advantage of me!” Triple H orders her to stay away from Angle. Steph assures Hunter that he’s the only man for her.

Thong Stink Face match:
The Kat (with Al Snow) vs. Terri Runnels (with European Champion Perry Saturn)

This is stemming from Kat arranging for Terri to get a Rikishi stink face recently. This whole thing stinks, no pun intended. Saturn tries to cover Terri in her entrance, which would seem like a lost cause to me. The bell rings and they’re wrestling (if you can call it that) in thongs. Saturn tries to carry Terri out, but Snow saves the day. I don’t mean to sound like a wrestling purist or snob, but I don’t really want to recap this, it’s all pretty embarrassing. Anyways, Kat hits Terri with Head and wins via Stink Face at 3:05. -**
Winner: The Kat

-The APA are partying at WWF New York.

-The advertised Kane vs. Undertaker match never gets started as they brawl in the aisle. It’s really not worth recapping, as it’s every Kane/Undertaker brawl you’ve ever seen, though Undertaker technically wins via stealing Kane’s mask. This is some pretty lame booking for one of the year’s biggest shows.

-Triple H is getting ready for the main event when Stephanie gets a call from her mother. HHH takes the phone but there’s no one on the line, leading us to assume it was really Kurt Angle.

WWF Championship:
The Rock © vs. Kurt Angle vs. Triple H

Angle comes out first and cuts a promo about how proud he is for kissing Stephanie. This results in Triple H storming to the ring and looking for the Pedigree on the Spanish announce table, which prematurely breaks. Angle looks concussed, Triple H goes for the sledgehammer, and The Rock finally arrives. The bell finally rings as Rock takes the fight to HHH. Angle gets wheeled out on a stretcher, as Triple H takes control of the Rock. Triple H chases after the stretcher to further attack Angle, giving Rock the chance to catapult him into the steel lighting structure. Stephanie comes out to check on Kurt but sticks around to cheer on her husband. Triple H isn’t happy to see her but orders her to get the WWF title. Steph misses a belt shot and hits HHH in the face. Rock attacks Stephanie, but Triple H saves her with a low blow and orders her to leave. Triple H dominates for a while, taking advantage of the no DQ stip by using his sledgehammer. This starts to feel like a rerun of every Rock/HHH encounter from 2000. Rock fights back with a superplex. Meanwhile, Stephanie pleads with Angle to go help Triple H. Rock and HHH trade near falls as Stephanie leads Kurt to the ring by the hand. Angle trips Rock, serving him up for the Pedigree, but Angle breaks the cover and smashes HHH into the ring steps. Angle steals the cover, but Rock kicks out! Angle tries to finish Rock with a belly to belly suplex, but Rock rallies. Rock whips Angle into Triple H, knocking him off the apron, and nails the Rock Bottom. HHH saves the match and demands the hammer again. Angle gets the sledgehammer instead and HHH accidentally clocks Stephanie in the head! Angle knocks HHH out with the hammer, but Rock makes the save! The Peoples’ Elbow on HHH ends it at 20:08. This felt like a routine outing until Angle got back involved in the late going. The soap opera element actually helped here, rounding it out to the *** mark.
Winner and still WWF Champion: The Rock

-Angle carries Stephanie out of the arena, leaving Triple H down and out in the ring.

Final Thoughts: I’m guessing there was some sort of shake-up in the creative department between Fully Loaded and Summerslam, as nothing that was set up at Fully Loaded seemed to actually materialize. The Benoit/Rock feud was shortened so Rock could be the third wheel in the Angle/HHH saga, Shane was screwing around in the Hardcore division rather than supporting Benoit, Tazz was feuding with the commentators instead of Rikishi, and the plug seemed to have been pulled on the Val Venis and Perry Saturn pushes. This is a pretty flat Summerslam, minus the high excitement of the TLC match, making this more of a Thumbs in the Middle.

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